Help with dinner with bf parents they don't like that I'm black.?

Question

I'm 21 my love is 22 he's white and I'm black we broke up about 9 mo's ago because his parents don't like that I'm black. We met back up today and found out we still love each other very deeply and so we're going to plan a Sunday night dinner talk with his parents. What would you say to them. We're christans so please no profanity. Thanks for your help.

In past he has told his parents that he loves me and cares for me deeply.

Answer 1

don't try to say any thing or what i mean is don't plan what your going to say because it will all come out a mess. try to be calm and be yourself. if your as nice and loving as this man nos you are his parents will give in and love you as well. color is only skin deep. its in your heart that really matters any way. so being your self and not putting on a show will make them like you more. i no I'm a mom.

Answer 2

First of all you two LIED! Secondly but foremost, you should never let someone else shape and or form your views and ideas on a mate {bf}. Hate is everywhere whether we want to believe it or not! But it really comes from "adults/ parents" {in your case}. Sounds like your ashamed of your relationship, if so you need to give it up and turn it loose, only until YOU deal with your what you want. If you don't stand for something you Will fall for anything, your slipping. Correct this! I think that your bf is really upset that you haven't faced the truth in yourself and family.

Answer 3

Just be who you are. If two people love each other, than nothing else matters. Hopefully his parents come to closure that they can accept this, or they can't and you do what you feel is right. If I were you, I'd stick with him, despite what his parents think. You could try to widen there view on things, but people rarely want to change from set "ideals". So chat up a normal, nice conversation, and if they can't accept being polite and respectable to you than you either leave, or try to discuss things out in the open nicely. Hope things work out between you two.

Answer 4

Hah! They'll know we are Christians by our love, huh? You can't say anything to his parents. They think you are a ghetto, welfare queen, nappy headed *****. They will not change their opinion. That's what happens when you decide to date a white (or non-black...although black people also may not like you because you are TOO black) guy. If he can't make a decision without his parents' consent, leave him alone. They are NEVER going to like you because you will ALWAYS be black. And they will hate your little nappy-headed children too. Generally, if you have a choice (maybe in the next life in which you do not believe) and you want an easy life where you can choose to be with any man you love, you should be born a white woman. You made the wrong choice this time around sweetie. Nobody's parents like black women. No body likes black women generally (at least not as a wife)...you notice that you are taught that the only black woman in your precious Bible is the Caananite woman who comes to Jesus to heal her daughter and Jesus disses her, saying "it is not right to take the childrens' bread and toss it to their dogs." (I NEVER forgot when I learned this in Sunday School...Indelible mark in my brain). This is, of course a lie that she is the only black woman in the Bible, but his parents learned that. You are a dog to them. You STILL want to be a Christian?

Answer 5

Love you can't make anyone like you. If you have a fire for each other and you truely love one another, as Corintians says in the love chapter "Love never fails". Parents are hard, because they expect more than you will ever know. Hold your head, pray, and remember that in your relationship, you don't have to be loved by parents, just the one you are with. If you want it seize it and don't let someone else dictate your destiny, love who YOU want and build the relationship that is right for YOU.

Answer 6

You gotta be prepared that you might not be able to be a part of his family. You should also think of your children might not have their grandparents' blessing. You may probably not gonna be really happy when you see your husband not gonna have his parents anymore because of you. So, you need to think whether you'll like this to happen to you?

In my own opinion, I would not want to get married at this young age. I'll take a few more years to find the right one.

Good luck.

Answer 7

What a crock. Don't do any activities. You're not 14 years old. If the parents don't want you guys being together simply because of the fact that you are black, then they are just narrow minded people and probably wont ever get over it. Unfortunately, that is their decision to make and not yours. Now, the relationship IS your decision to make. He is 22 and is a grown man. He should be able to tell his parents that he is in love with you. They don't have to agree with his choice, but if they love their son, they should let him make his own decision.
That being said, my advice to you is to be yourself. Just interact with them in the same way that you interact with everyone else. Do not change who you are because of two people who disagree with you being with their son because of the color of your skin. Tell them that you are in love with their son, the feeling is mutual and you are going to do everything in your power to make him happy. That's all that really matters, that both of you are happy.

Answer 8

number I would say that Its not the parents decision to make choices any longer for their son because is an adult, Now maybe they are racists if not then They might have had a bad experience with a black person, all I know is that I would tell them, that I know that they are very skeptical about my dating your son, but all that should matter is wether or not your son is happy, and if you want him to be happy then you need to let your son make his own choice, all that matters is, is that I love your son, and if you cant respect that request then we have no more to really say, except I am going to love him to the best of my ability, and I hope that one day or another you will except me for who I am and not for the person you want me to be. Thank you. for your listenin ears. no matter what happenes I love him. and we are happy together.

Answer 9

Tell them that you two cannot help the way that they raised their son, to love everyone as Christ loves us. That is all he is doing anyway. Therefore, since Christ is your God, and not the two of them, and because love is mutual between you two~~forsaken all others must start now. You both wish for them to remain in "our" lives, but it is their choice.

This happened to my cousin (black male to an Italian girl) they have been together over 25 years now with one child. Her parents never accepted him, but did become more congenial before they died.

Answer 10

Just have a nice big dinner, invite both sides, and plan on some fun activities. The more you interact, the more they can learn about you and learn to love you. Best way is thru educationa and showing them what a good person you are and how much you make their son happy.