im 22, shes 48 and i've been living away from home for 3 years, my brother is leaving for college at the end of the summer and i've been thinking a lot about moving back in with her to take care of her during her treatments.
do you think this would make her happy or feel like a burden?
..I dont want her to be alone during this if she has it. i would also be moving away from my serious, live-in boyfriend (hopefully he doent make too big of a deal out of it due to the situation)..i just dont want her to feel like she's wrecking my life because im on the verge of starting my adult life..should i even bring it up to her and if so how?
2007-06-05 16:13:17 · 10 answers · asked by juls_marie 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
3 lumps (from back of neck, armpit and wrist) removed last week, biopsy results are being given tomorrow to talk about treatment, if any..i live an hour away, i would have to change jobs and move back to my childhood town..
..she has the most beautiful long brown hair, and they already had to shave a little bit of it in the back where they had to cut her open..i would be a wreck if she lost her hair..beauty is only skin deep but a woman's hair is her crown..
2007-06-05 16:48:51 · update #1
the results are in!
she has non-hodgkins lymphoma..but doesnt have to go through chemo, she'll be fine without me living there, but im still going to go to all of her treatments with her-4 weeks on, 8 weeks off
..my bf's mom and my mom now have the same oncologist..
small world
2007-06-07 11:04:20 · update #2
I would wonder what is away? Same city different areas or different cities? If it's the same city then moving in is only an option. You can still be there to take care of her. If there is a city/distance challenge, then there maybe some serious decisions on moving, you and the live in boyfriend. But like the RN stated, don't put the cart before the horse. I mean it sounds like you are more worried that your mother may just feel alone since you and now your brother are no longer there. I mean it was bound to happen some time. And like the RN said, she is an adult. She may be looking forward to her home to herself.
If there is a serious illness such as cancer to combat, then I say take it one day at a time. Believe it or not, you could be your mothers best friend if you learn to let her be yours. She loves you and obviously you love her. Hopefully there is no illness, but don't let the lack there of keep you from growing that relationship. Go out together. Invite her over to your home for dinner or a small gathering of friends. Corny? Yes. But don't let the corniness of the situation keep you from spending time with your one and only mother. As you are already realizing, life is definitely too short.
2007-06-05 16:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by minnienick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way she will feel like she is wrecking your life is if you lead her to believe that. You shouldn't even have any second thoughts about moving in with her and giving her support. She will need it. Your serious live-in boyfriend should understand also. If he doesn't then you shouldn't be serious about him anymore. Your mom will most likely tell you she is fine, that you shouldn't bother but deep down I'm sure she would love to have you there through this ordeal. I guess you need to consider the what if's....Would you be able to live with yourself if something happened to her and you weren't there for her.
2007-06-06 00:07:30 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, thank you for going with her. I'm sure she appreciates it more than she can say. You can always tell her you are willing to do this for her, again, she will appreciate the sentiment, and it may ease her mind. That doesn't mean it will be a definite, but it will give her another option and some joy, knowing she has such a caring daughter!! Good luck to both of you.
P.S. If the boyfriend has a problem with you helping out your family, he doesn't sound like much of a catch.
2007-06-05 23:32:12 · answer #3 · answered by Carol C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most mothers would want their daughter to live their own life and not impose on them, certainly not to quit a job. I wouldnt plan yet since you do not know the treatment if any. Some people want to be alone during treatments anyway.
2007-06-05 23:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa? Has your mother had any tests, x rays, MRI's yet?? If not, it takes awhile to have them and gets the results.. Now, if she's had all this and is seeing the dr tomorrow for confirmation,. let's see what the story is.
I admire you for doing what you're doing, but let's wait and see.
Post again tomorrow, let us know what's up, or, better yet, wait a couple days until it sinks in.
I went thru this with my father. Really, a lot of people helped, so it really wasn't bad. at all. Good luck. Stay in touch.
2007-06-05 23:34:09 · answer #5 · answered by Barry auh2o 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't put the cart before the horse, find out first if she has cancer, and what treatment she will need. Then ask her if she wants you to move in with her. She is all grown up, and is perfectly capable of deciding something like that. It's good that you want to help, but don't assume it's something you HAVE to do, leave it up to your mom.
2007-06-05 23:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i hope you don't have to. but should she have cancer, keep an open mind please don't tell her no matter how grim the possible outcome. i say this because my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in February 2005. on fun trip with her and sis. we were talking that she wanted to have both breasts removed! she was having tremendous headaches, at that time, Dr kept giving her antibiotics for sinus infection (very bed idea for someone with cancer). i also worked for neurologist for 7 1/2 years and opened my big mouth, said as long as cancer doesn't go to brain she would survive, or upper lobes of lung. went to Dr with her 1 month later, it was in both locations we discussed earlier. she gave up, died July 2005. but stay with her no matter what, bf will need to understand. thank god my husband did. she needs constant encouragement and your love. it is very hard road but discuss with all concerned, including your mother. you know your mother and know what she can handle. i pray you don't go through what i went through. but their are support groups. i will pray for her and you, god bless.
2007-06-05 23:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by rottonweiler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WAS A SINGLE MOTHER WHEN I WAS DAIGONESED WITH BREAST CANCER. IT WAS A VERY HARD TIME FOR ME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD OF DONE WITH OUT MY KIDS THERE. THEY HELP ME THROUGH IT. THEY WAS MY HOPE. SHE WILL NEED YOU THERE FOR HER. IT WILL MAKE HER REAL HAPPY. IF YOUR SERIOUS BF REALLY LOVES YOU HE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE TO DO THIS. SIT HER DOWN AND TALK TO HER ABOUT HOW YOU ARE FEELING AND WHAT YOU ARE THINKING OF DOING. PLEASE BE HONEST WITH HER.JUST REMEMBER ONE THING YOU WILL ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER BUT MORE THEN ONE BF. GOOD LUCK YOU AND YOUR MOTHER. YOU ARE BOTH IN MY PRAYERS!!
2007-06-06 01:42:44 · answer #8 · answered by brighteyes62863 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Cancer is always serious, but it's not always tragic."
People do get through it. I did. I'm fine now. I was diagnosed June 2005.
2007-06-05 23:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the RN above me.
PS: I am a Oncology RN
2007-06-05 23:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by happydawg 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋