My nephew shows possible signs of autism, my sister seems to be in denial. How do I confront her?

Question

My baby nephew a little over a year old, but he very seldom talks, and prefers to be alone most of the time. His reactions aren't the same as most children, but he is a genuinely beautiful baby boy. I do notice he is into detail when arranging toy blocks and stuff. He also seems to be very gifted with memory. I think he could possibly be savant, but how do I confront my sister on this without hurting her feelings? I feel that he at least deserves an early diagnosis, to get started on some form of therapy already. Somebody please offer advice on how I can approach this sensitive subject with her?

Answer 1

Make her aware of the abilities that her son possesses, like you said about arranging the blocks and toys. She could get him tested to see if he is gifted, and maybe it will uncover any learning difficulties as well. You should get her to do something soon though. My nephew was the same as this, and he is 4 now. He can hardly speak and can't put a sentence together. He is not social with other children and can be violent if he doesn't get his way. It gets worse if it's not picked up on early. If you hurt your sisters feelings a bit in the short term, it will end up helping her in the long term. Good luck, I hope it works out ok for you, your sister and your nephew.

Answer 2

Doctors will not diagnosis autism until a child has reached 2 years of age. As a babies personality begins to develop, some will chat up a storm and others will lean towards quite play. Children will also grow quiet around people not in their immediate household around 9 months of age. I would refocus your concerns towards enjoying your relationship with your sister and celebrating your precious nephew. Doctors and nurses are quite adept at catching the warning signs of autism, even during routine checkups. And I am very certain that your sister is very concerned about her childs well being. It sounds as if you already made a diagnosis for her and the doctor! Apologize and back off. It's not worth the tension!

Answer 3

Well, what you described could be autism, but it could be a precoscious, late-talking toddler.

I think you should wait a little while, until he's 18-24 months old. It's only then that many doctors seem to show concern about not talking.

In the meantime, try bringing up the situation in a subtle way. You don't know she's unaware of the problem. I have two sisters I love to death, but unless they brought it up, I didn't tell them the doctor and I discussed developmental delays in my son. Find a way to ask in a non-threatening way if the doctor seemed concerned or said anything about his speech or anything.

I understand your concern, but I also understand how she may feel. If she's anything like me, telling her pointe blank that you think her son has autism is not going to end with her being glad you said it and scheduling him for testing.

True, her feelings are not more important than his well-being, but if you wait a little while until you know a little better, that it wasn't just a late talker, your suggestions will probably have more of a positive result.

Answer 4

Most children don't even start learning their first words (aside from mama and dada) before 12-18 months of age. If he talks at all, he is developmentally right on track for his age group.

Most toddlers around his age are also exploring the new found mobility and independence that comes along with walking. It is normal for them to want to play and discover things on their own. It is also not unusual for a toddler to be interested in the details of their toys, or to be intrigued by a repetitive behavior (ex. knocking a toy over and picking it back up) This is how they learn.

I am curious, what other children are you comparing your nephew to?

If your sister takes her son for regular well baby check ups, I would guarantee the pediatrician is tracking your nephew's development. If he has any concerns he will definitely discuss them with your sister.

Answer 5

This might sound a little under handed but your sister will thank you. If your that concerned with your nephew has developed signs of autism, tell your sister that you'd like to baby sit for a day to give her a chance to get out and enjoy herself. Schedule an appointment with a specialist. If your nephew does in fact have autism, then and only then do you confront your sister. She will then have a qualified diagnoses. If he doesn't, don't say a word about the doctors appointment. I have a brother that is the same way, I could never approach him on a sensitive matter. Good Luck.

Answer 6

He's so young that this probably isn't something to even worry about. Some kids DO just talk later--and the fact that you said "seldom talks" is even less cause for concern. Heck, I work with 0-3 year olds, and some of the 3 year olds don't even much speak yet--and they definitely aren't autistic. I think you're worrying unnecessarily.

Most 1 year olds don't talk.

P.S. I know many people, especially boys, who didn't speak AT ALL until they were over age 3, even as late as 4, and they are okay! Don't worry!

Answer 7

The best is to keep your diagnoses to yourself. You do not know what's going on with the child. I'm sure he has a Doctor who sees him and he, the professional, would notice something was amiss. My girlfriends baby was almost 2 before she talked. Not autistic, not a savant, but simply a child that had nothing important to say at the time. She is now in university. Oh, did I mention she is a "gifted' student
Be there to listen to your sister in case of any problems, hold her when she cries., rejoice in her triumphs. To suggest something now would be to put a wedge between you and her. Remember you are not a professional that can make such a life altering statement.Wishing you Well

Answer 8

Totally serious with this- Give him a toy car. Most often a child with Autism will spin the wheels and watch them turn, instead of pushing it around the floor.

Also give notice if he looks at you when you talk to him. If he does I'd say don't worry.

Answer 9

My nephew was just diagnosed with autism. Its very hard to diagnose. From what i know autism affects three areas of a child:
Appears indifferent to surroundings
Appears content to be alone, happier to play alone
Displays lack of interest in toys
Displays lack of response to others
Does not point out objects of interest to others (called protodeclarative pointing)
Marked reduction or increase in activity level
Resists cuddling

Not to make you scared, but starting therapy at age 1 as appose to 2 is a big big difference. If you feel it you need to attack it. No mother wants to hear there is something wrong with thier child, but if you keep talking to her and tell her the syptoms she may come around. Tell her if you take him to a doctor they will not give an answer. My sister actually got her anwer from her occupational therapist for him. Therepist know more today about diagnosing than doctors really. Autism is one of the hardest things to diagnose and if you don't treat it fast, life changes will be very severe.
There is an Oprah show on Autisim there is a doctor on thier who actually has two sons with it. Another thing, Autism is genetic with siblings. Anyway, she became an expert and its very good and informational. look on youtube or something.

Answer 10

it is really hard for a mother to hear that people think there is somehitng "wrong" with their child. for the child's sake (early diagnosis for autism can make a big difference) it is important to try to help. be ddirect but, don't expect the mother to embrace what you're saying. she will; probably get defensive and may get really angry. be sure to let her know that you are concerned and not just that you think something is "wrong" wiht her child. see if you can just get her to agree to talk with her doctor. tell her you certainly hope that you are wrong and that everything is fine. tell her you care and are concerned. give her time and space. if she flat out refuses to look into it at all, you may have to wait for her to come around. then don't say, "I told you so," but, instead just be glad that the child is getting help, whenever that may be. do you know if other people think there is reason to be concerned? be sure she is feeling loved.