Last week, she told me something disturbingly offensive & disrespectful over the phone, & instead of arguing back with her, I hung up in her face. I'm afraid to call her & apologize, even though I guess we should both be sorry. But I do want to be the bigger person & apologize. I'm afraid she might still be holding a grudge.
2007-06-05 15:47:46 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You could still call even if she is holding a grudge. Tell her that you were wrong for hanging up on her but that you were hurt (offended, insulted) by what she said. Then you can leave it up to her. If she wants to apologize she will. She may have to think about it a while and will call you later to apologize. At least if you call her than you have done the right thing and that is the most that you can do.
2007-06-07 03:44:54 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her.
I would not talk with her about all of this over the phone. If she lives far from you, go visit for a couple of days. If she lives close, take her to lunch.
Tell her that what she said was offensive and disrespectful. Tell her how you feel. No yelling, or finger pointing, or arguing. You should also tell her that you will not be talked to that way by anyone - including your mother.
If she is still holding a grudge or if she is ranting on and on about this issue, tell her that the ball is in her court and that she can call you when she is ready to talk this through.
Good luck!
2007-06-05 15:53:41 · answer #2 · answered by yarn whore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like hanging up was a gut reaction...a way for you to take control of the situation and to vent your frustration without thinking of the potential consequences.
Now that you've had time to think about it, I suggest that you don't frame it in terms of blame. Instead, look at it in terms of responsibility. You mom was responsible for saying things that could be construed as disrespectful and offensive, and you are responsible for your knee-jerk reaction.
Instead of calling to apologize (which really doesn't mean a lot), call to accept responsibility. Use an explanation such as, "I hung up on your because I was frustrated and upset by what you said. I did a gut reaction, and looking back, I can see that it wasn't the best one." That owns your actions and explains your position without trying to justify it, which could put her on the defensive. Perhaps it will even lead her to explain her position, too, vs. holding onto a grudge.
Dr. Barb Nefer
BN Lifeskills LLC
2007-06-05 15:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by barbnefer 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your mother will always love you and is probably feeling the same confusion! I have never had that good of a relationship with my mom, but I always try to keep talking to her. Both of you need to talk it out, you never know what could happen and when! I mean what if you got hit by a car tomorrow and you never resolved it, do you know how guilty and horrible she would feel? What if SHE got hit, how would you feel! I'd call her up as soon as you can :) Hope it works out for ya!
2007-06-05 16:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by (:*Smiles*:) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's your mom and the only one you'll ever have.Call her.
Don't put it off as you never know what may lie around the corner.Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
It doesn't matter if she's holding a grudge.Call her and apologize.You;ll feel better about yourself and you'll have been the bigger person.
I'll just bet she accepts your apology and will apologize to you.Mom's are like that.
Good Luck to you dear,
2007-06-05 15:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you call, try this first. Forgive her and forgive yourself. Then you start thinking of kind thoughts of her and her positive points. Remember the things she has done for you. Then you erase memories of the fight. Then you send her blessings. What happens in the process is that you are helping to cleanse the negative energy around you and her. She will feel the same towards you as you send her kind thoughts she will receive the positive energy.
Do this ernestly and sincerely.
By the time you call her, she will be forgiving and nicer.
2007-06-05 15:54:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your mother ..not a friend, go to her. Apologize and if she is still not over it then tell her to call you when she is! Always be the bigger person, you will grow because of it!
2007-06-05 15:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by amasmomma05 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call and apologize but let her know that you were offended by her remarks. Tell har that you do not want it to destroy any relationship you may have built up. You will be the bigger person for admitting that you didn't make the best coice, but that you want to make amends.
2007-06-05 15:51:52 · answer #8 · answered by Senator D*L*P™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should call her. If she still has a grudge, that's her problem. You didn't do anything wrong to her. You getting offended by what SHE said is not your fault. It is her fault for saying it. But, most likely she'll want to apologize, too.
2007-06-05 15:51:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need to be the bigger person, but the bible says honour thy mother and father and your days will be longer. So with that said call her and apologize if she doesn't except, well you did your part.
2007-06-05 16:07:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋