My situation is that I'm a year and a half late about being in my son's life. I've never seen him. The mother entered the army and gave guardianship to her parents(without my knowledge) when she did. Now that I'm trying to actually be a father and stop being a coward, I've got a couple of tough decisions in front of me. First, do I seek custody from the grandparents? As many of you have suggested, I believe I should talk to grandparents and work my way into the childs life slowly and letting him become familiar with me before even thinking of seeking full custody. The thing with that is, I wont be able to visit frequently seeing as how we are in two different states(Georgia, Mississippi). Im also in college so I'm on a students budget, staying with my folks to save on money. My program of study is 3 years long, so my tough choice is do I visit when i can and let him stay with the grandparents for the next 3 yrs until I start my career? or get him now and let my family help me with him?
2007-06-05 14:57:57 · 8 answers · asked by mont260 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my son's father has never been around. although you and him differ greatly my advice is. do not rip him away from what he knows as home. this could seriously hurt him in the long run. talk to the grandparents and let them have time to think it over and make a decision. since you have been out of his life for this time it will be a hard one to make so dont expect a decision in 24 hours.
considering you are in school and cant afford to take care of a child, regardless of what your parents are willing to do. the courts wont care what your parents are willing to do. they are going to look at you and only you. since you are in school and have a job where are you going to find hte time for your son???? my advice is take these three years to get your life together for a career and get to know your son. build a trust relationship with him in that time. you rip him away from what he knows now he may end up hating you. and he may not. but why risk it? prove to the grandparents that you are truly wanting to be a father and with that it will build proof for the court system. wait til you have that career and stability. courts want to see that you can provide for your son.... alone. your son needs time to realize who you are and trust you. you rip him away from what he knows you will find him angry and bitter at times and you will be working on build a trsut relationship a lot longer than if you waited.
get over yourself and think about what is best for him. place yourself in his shoes and see his world form his point of view. to him you are a stranger. you take him away without building a relationship you'll stay a stranger longer than you care to.
2007-06-05 15:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important person in this situation is ur child. If he knows his grandparents more and loves them so much think about his feelings and how he would feel if you took him away from the people he adores the most in his life right now. I know it may be hard on u, trust me I have a close girlfriend (friend) of mine and she was very young when she had her 1st child well her mother basically raised the baby and the baby ended up calling grandma "mom" and basically saw my friend (his mom) as his sister when grandma moved my friend let her take the lil'boy b/c when he was informed that grandma was moving he couldn't bare to be left w/his real mom a person he hardly knew b/c she never tried to bond w/him. Now, I'm not saying stay out of the pic but I'm just saying let him stay w/his grandparents until u finish school and get ur career started. It's the only far thing for him b/c if not he will be heartbroken. He is the most imporatnt thing and never forget that. If u take him away he could also possibly get home sick and stop eating and stuff b/c he's heartbroken. U know like depressed, I remember when I was little my dad always had to work out of town and I wouldn't eat b/c I missed him.
2007-06-05 15:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with you won't get custody. The grandparents have absolutely NO rights compared to biological parents and your ex knowingly gave them custody without your knowledge. You have every right to take them to court for custody and you will probably get it. I am not sure what hte exact wording was on the legal document but if it was perm. or temp.iwth NO date to rehea then she gave your children away. BUt if the doucments list a tiem for the case to be reheard then she did nOT give them away as she obvisouly had to have them stay somewhere while in the military. THe question i must ask you though is, is the grandparents offering a stable environment which will allow you to be a part of their lives also or is the environment unstable. if it is stable why would you disrupt their lives? Even if you got custody would you have a relationship with them that is positive or would the blame your forever for tearing up their family?
2007-06-09 09:50:54 · answer #3 · answered by johnny123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you basically answered your own question. You cant afford to see him as often as you would like, as one problem been a student budget.
You are going to find it pretty hard to financially support him if you did get custody.
Have you spoken to your parents about this or have you just presumed they will help you with him.? Financially i mean.
I think you would be better visiting, and calling him whenever possible, start on your relationship with him first he might not want to live with you now anyway.
Good luck
2007-06-05 15:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-06 23:04:45 · answer #5 · answered by intriago 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will only be able to get full custody of your kid if the law see's you financialy fit....get your game straight and win everything...his your's, nothing can take that away from you...would you rather have him now confusing him with your parents on who are they and who are you, or get your life straight, have a place for you and your boy where you can do all the bonding for the rest..........
2007-06-05 15:20:06 · answer #6 · answered by ngermiich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can seek custody, but its likely you wont get it, as you are nearly 2 years too late for that... try visitation and child support, (which you are 2 years behind on too)
2007-06-05 15:04:06 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to get help from this website-http://www.usalegalcare.com/Child_custody.htm
2007-06-05 22:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋