What's the meaning of that tradition anyways?
2007-06-05 13:22:01 · 40 answers · asked by Mike 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
By the way, the dad loves me. So it's not like I need to earn "extra points" or anything. I suppose i could skip it?
2007-06-05 13:31:39 · update #1
Nope, but it's nice if you do.
2007-06-05 13:25:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your girlfriend. I would have been offended if my fiance had asked either of my parents for permission to marry me. It's her decision, not her dad's. But if she really likes the tradition of it, I would suggest asking for his blessing, rather than his permission. Or after you propose, maybe the two of you could ask all the parents for their blessing, etc. The tradition comes from when women were "owned" by their fathers. When they got married, they were then "owned" by their husbands. So the husband-to-be was basically offering to take the woman off the father's hands (because sons were useful, and daughters were not). Then fathers would give their daughters a dowry (now, they pay for the wedding), as a payment, basically. But the answer comes down to what your girlfriend would prefer.
2007-06-06 03:33:02 · answer #2 · answered by super E 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While it may be old fashioned and reflect an old society way of transfering the power of authority over the bride, I still think it shows immense respect to the parents that the man asks permission. After all, even if the woman is 40 the parents still had the job of raising her for quite a number of years. If anything, it may avoid future conflict. My boyfriend just proposed, and I was so happy to learned he had had a long talk with my dad before. It made me especially happy that my dad love him and is so exited about our marriage.
2007-06-05 13:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by Solorya 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's mainly a tradition because back in the day guys had to ask permission from the woman's dad for his blessing to marry her. Personally, I think it's a sweet tradition and it would be sweet of my boyfriend to ask my dad, but it's not like its mandatory. It's just a nice gesture of respect.
2007-06-06 07:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by Wishing on a Dream 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but it's the courteous thing to do. It shows you have an interest not just in the daughter, but the family as well. It also shows you have respect for your girlfriend's parents, and value their opinion. After all, he will be walking her down the aisle to you.
The tradition started in tribal times, when the male had to ask the father for his daughter, and in some cases pass a test for her. The meaning of it was to determine if you were worthy, or at least respected the family.
2007-06-05 13:36:52 · answer #5 · answered by Patrick 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to, but it may earn you some points with her dad and give him a little more respect for you. It's an old tradition that was carried on in a lot of families but I don't hear much about it anymore.
2007-06-05 13:26:27 · answer #6 · answered by Judy W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a nice gesture and he would probably be really impressed if you did. But in the end she is marrying You and You are marrying her. it is your choice and most guy now are skipping that tradition. I know my dad would be super pissed if my fiancee hadn't asked for his blessing even though we would have continued without it.
Its from back where there were dowry's with the women. Women couldn't support themselves so the fathers had to make sure that the guy could afford to support his daughter properly. If they guy didn't ask permission he wouldn't get the dowry. It was supposed to keep them from marrying a guy who was going to beat the crap out of them or were only after the money so they could waste it all. There was no divorce back then if you married a loser.
2007-06-05 13:25:29 · answer #7 · answered by pspoptart 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to ask him. The tradition comes from when fathers had to choose a husband for their daughter that would be advantageous to her and mostly her family. Now, it is simply a sign of respect for the Dad to do it. My husband did it and although my Dad loved him anyway, that just raised his opinion of my husband even more. I suggest that you do it. Since he likes you, he's obviously not going to say no and what can it hurt to have more respect from your in laws? It will make "Dad" feel like he's "in the loop".
2007-06-05 14:03:17 · answer #8 · answered by childofhistory1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and my dad are really close and I know that my dad would say yes when that time came that there was no issue or need to earn browny points...But I do know this I like tradition and it made me very happy that my fiance cared enough to ask my dad. And my dad felt very happy that he did...he said it made him feel like even though he liked him he knew that his daughter was getting a good man that valued his opinion.
2007-06-05 14:44:33 · answer #9 · answered by ventity325 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your girlfriend. As many people have already mentioned, it's old fashoned and not required anymore but many women find it to be a nice gesture and a lot of dads would probably agree. But I also know some women who would get upset if a guy asked her dad before asking her. Some women might see this as a holdover from when women were considered property instead of people.
2007-06-05 13:35:29 · answer #10 · answered by Dragon Lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to, but it is a nice way to make a first impression on your new family-to-be! The father used to have to give permission for his daughter to be married. I think it had a lot to do with the fact that people got married way sooner that we do today. Person's not married by 18 were thought to have a problem or something. Congrats on your soon to be engagement and Good Luck!
2007-06-05 13:33:35 · answer #11 · answered by Rebecca K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋