Two issues I have with christianity..?

Question

Is that after reading several verses it seems as if women are expected to stay at home and not work, I am entirely against that, I want to be a christian, but not if it entitles never having a career of my own, I'm only 16, but this is ridiculous.

And you must submit to your husband? What is that supposed to mean? If I get married I will never submit to my husband like some sort of slave.

Sorry, I just really don't get this, it sounds like a horribly boring life, one that I would never be able to take part in.

Answer 1

To your first question, our church actually allows women to lead. We have a women that teaches on the weekend frequently, we have women on our leadership team, our board and serving as elders. We embrace equality.

As for your second question, if you read it in context it's not blind submission. What's often overlooked (by men especially) is that women are to submit to their husbands AND men are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ loved the church so much that he gave his life for it. He put the church (us/believers) ahead of himself.

what would that look like in marriage? If I'm putting my wife ahead of myself, loving her more than I love myself, to the point that I would give up my own life wouldn't she want to submit to me? I guess that's where the disconnect happens. My wife "submits" to me out of respect for how I love and treat her. It's not something I ask her to do or even think about. The focus should be "are husbands treating their wives the way the Bible tells them to - as Christ loved the church" if that was happening, there would be many happy wives!!

Answer 2

Ok, Yeah. Those parts I was a little uncomfortable with at first also. Although these two things sound very sexist, I wouldn't make it a huge deal.

Women are expected to stay at home and not work. That is not entirely true now. In the old days when Jesus was alive, it was not God's decision to say "You are to stay at home and not do anything" but it was the society's expectations and it was traditional that the woman would stay at home and the man would do the work. God wanted the woman to be the helper of man, not the lazy woman who stays at home staring at kids.

The submitting to the husband part was from god's mouth when he was very angry at the fact that the woman gave man the apple of knowledge of good and evil. So, it basically means that man is supposed to be more powerful and have more say in things. And apparently, even without following Christianity, people always say the most powerful person in the house is the man, thus, "The man of the house".

The two things you were talking about contradict each other due to the fact that if you are to be at home and not work, you would not be able to be a slave. So... ^^; And don't worry, a christian life is not a boring one at all. It is more like an adventure where you experience many emotions and other things if you take it seriously. And if you want to be a Christian seriously, just remember that you can not say you're a Christian by just saying you are one.

Answer 3

The bible also tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. A man who truly loves this way will not want a "slave". The church is not Christ's slave nor is a wife. Also, submitting to your husband is about respect, not slavery. Read Ephesians 5:22-31.

I have been a Christian and a wife for 11 years. I am surely not an expert but enjoy learning more and more. I also have a career and a family. I am not sure what verse says that I can't have a family, but if you have questions regarding specific verses, consult a local pastor.

Also, in response to someone saying that Christians only follow the verses that we like. There are many verses that I do not claim to have full understanding but still believe completely in the Bible. It is called faith.

Answer 4

I don't know how many verses you read or from which Testament but any you may have read from the Old Testament no longer applies since we are under the New Testament (which means covenant or agreement).

In the New Testament, there are two verses where it says that a wife should obey her husband because he's the head of the house. The word submit in these verses is translated from the Greek word hupotassō which means to obey as opposed to the greek word hupeikō, meaning "(to yield, be “weak”); to surrender".

I personally see nothing wrong with a wife obeying her husband...but I also believe a husband should obey his wife whether he's the head of the house or not.

For a really indepth look at how Jesus felt about women please check out this article. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised

http://www.bibleufo.com/anomwomen.htm

Answer 5

It's really astonishing how often these things are misunderstood. No where in the bible does it say that men are allowed to treat their wives like "slaves". The new testament says that men should revere, honor and love their wives "like Christ does the church". This was unheard of, in this time period. A true Christian marriage, one that is based on the person of Jesus Christ, love for God and His ways, can be the closest thing to heaven on earth if two people truly love the Lord, and each other.

And there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a career woman. If a woman desires to stay at home and raise children, that's wonderful. I do think that a Christian mother owes that to her children, if she is able to do it.

Christianity does not desire to make women "less than". But there is a beautiful order in the household that God wants; the husband is to be head of the house. This doesn't mean he is to be a pushy, overbearing, bossy ogre. It means he takes the responsibility for the spiritual well being of all who reside there, overlooks the safety of his family. It is meant to be all good things, Godly things, not oppressive things.

Answer 6

You're only getting part of the story, sweetie! Christ does not expect you to stay at home and not work if that is not your calling. You are expected to do what is the best with your life. Some Christian women work, some stay at home, some worked, then stayed home with the little ones for a while and then went back to work. You and your husband, with the aid of God, will make that decision if and when the time comes. Me, I stayed home for a while, and then went back to teaching part time. Gave me time with my girls, yet time to do what God wants me to do.. teach!
As for submitting... you have to submit willingly. If you are forced by any man to give in to him, then you are being made a servant... huge difference! Our marriage is 50-50. Although some decisions are more his, and some are more mine. But, at the end of the day, we are partners.
Keep reading and don't stop asking questions! And remember, only SOME denominations push the submission... not all. Don't give up!!

Answer 7

God's view of marriage is so much more than just staying at home and submitting.

First, I am amazed at the positive responses that you have received. And I agree with many.
1) God does want us to submit to our husbands. He serves as a spiritual head and protector/provider for the family.
2) This submission is also required of the husband. It is a beautiful, mutual respect and genuine joy that you find in being together and serving God together.
3) God wants no man (or woman) to "lord" over anyone. He does not condone abuse or mistreatment of any kind.
4) Nowhere does the word of God say that a woman cannot help to support her family.
If you are in a spiritually healthy relationship, it will be a wonderful thing to behold. Both of you working together as one for God, your family and each other. Becoming wonderful examples of what God had planned for marriage instead of the mishmosh that goes on so much of the time.
Don't lose heart. Serve God. Understand that you are still very young and have much to learn in life. You will be happy that you did not give up.
And one more thing being a Christian does not mean that you cannot have fun in life. It means that you have acknowledged your sins against God, asked for forgiveness and chosen to follow His law instead of man's.
Nowhere does it say that you can't have a fun, fufilling life. Go for it, girl!

Answer 8

Stay at home? Where does it say that? My Bible says that women make good teachers, and several other functions within the Church. And in the OT Scripture describes an Excellent Wife as one who among other things, buys, sells, and spins, and weaves. Sounds like a working mother to me!

Yes, you are to submit to the head of the household. That is merely keeping an orderly chain of command. But the husband is NOT to lord it over the women, he is to LOVE her, as Christ loves the Church. And Jesus DIED for us!!! If you're not willing to submit to such a man, you SHOULDN'T get married.

Answer 9

Don't forget that a husband is called to love his wife the way Christ loves the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for her. That is a huge calling for a husband. I don't know about you, but I would much prefer being the bride. :)

God
Husband
Wife
Children
Family
Church family
Friends
Community
Nation
World

This is the order our priorities are to be listed. This is the heirarchy, which God has ordained, for a good reason. Like any organization there must be a leader, everyone assigned a task for the fulfillment of the overall purpose. In this case, God's purpose.

Of course our devotion and sole motivation for caring for anyone within this list should be based on our desire to love God and do His will as He leads.

A husband is called to be the Spiritual leader of the marriage -- of the home. He is to help teach and encourage a more fruitful relationship with the Father. Again, this is a huge job description and one that God will hold him greatly accountable.

As my husband's wife of course I desire for him to find favor in the eyes of our Lord, so why would I not want to help him as the Spiritual leader of our home, believing fully that God will guide us through the obedience of my husband as the head of our home?

This is not about a master / slave relationship. There is so much more to it. I hope you will ask God to show you what He really intends for a husband and wife.

Answer 10

Honestly that is not what the bible says at all, although some denominations of christians beleive that... the Bible and Christianity at it core hold woman at the highest value... in no way does it ever suggest that women shouldnt work or that they have to stay at home infact there are lots of examples of women who were given major roles in building the church in the New testament there was Pheobe the evangelist and Priscilla the church planter.. or even in the old Testament Deborah was a hardcore judge when all of the men were wimps Deborah went and defeated the opposing army..

A lot of times people misquote Paul in Timothy where he said women should be silent in church... and that a woman is subject to the man, in order to understand what paul was saying you have to understand the situation that that was going on and why paul was writing that to timothy... first timothy was really really young and he was in charge of his own church where the majority of the people there were alot older than him and he was having some issues with some ladies disrespecting him not listening and interupting him as he would try and preach, need less to say he was pretty discouraged by that anyway
in the new testament church service men and women would sit on seperate sides of the room and the women in the middle of the service wouldcall over to the men .. as if timothy wasnt even speaking paul was saying get a hold of that situation, those women think they are in charge but God has placed youin charge, the men like you and respect you get them to get their wives to start acting right they need to shut up when they are in church and stop talkin thru your sermons ..and so on (that was a lil paraphrased lol)
anyway thats where the misunderstanding comes from

second on the issue of submission submission is not slavery or anything like that, it is placing someone else in higher reguard than you... and its not a one way street if you finidh the verse it says wives submit yourselves to your husbands, husbands submit yourselves to your wife as christ submitted himself for the church.. they are talking about how christ gave his life for the church so should we give our lives to each other that when you get married its not all about you anymore, its about the other person, and the perfect relationship is where both of you work to please the other one.. never one sided,

you might be thinkin gah this girl has like overloaded me...sorry i just love this subject because I am a girl youth pastor and i have had lots of people tell me this or that so i found out for myself what the bible really says about it..

I would love to talk to you more about it if you have any more questions or if you want to become that christian (christ follower) that you said earlier..

Vanessa