my problem is that I have this constant desire to make any other man want me. I was popular in school and I guess that's why but, I'm married now. I can't stop thinking about these certain, specific men. In a real life believer's point of view, is God upset with me? I mean, I don't actually DO anything other than try to look good for the guys...but i'm married!
2007-06-05 11:04:48 · 27 answers · asked by Fanny 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think what you have to be asking yourself is why do you want to look good for other men. I mean is it something on the surface like a problem with your self esteem? Is there a problem in the marriage?
A question for you is...How was your relationship with your dad? The relationship between a dad and a daughter are esstential to the development of the woman in her life and the way she wants to be viewed by men. Something to think about.
2007-06-05 11:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think when some people get married, they think 'that's it'. I wonder does your partner make you feel desirable? Sometimes people get a bit to comfortable in marriage and think "well I'm married now" and they stop making an effort dress up and romance their partner like they did before they were married. Maybe it's just the feeling you like that those specific men give you when they find you desirable. I mean some people like to know 'they've still got it' when they are married. Does your partner make you feel that way? Maybe you could tell him how you feel (I wouldn't recommend telling about the 'trying to look good for the guys' part). I'm not a christian so I don't know what god would think. In my opinion it seems that your self esteem needs a boost so you don't need to feel desired by other men.
2007-06-05 11:30:40 · answer #2 · answered by sydney77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If by "looking good" you mean dressing immodestly, you need to stop (1 Timothy 2:9). You are sending out the wrong signals. Also, you need to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). Think about things that are pure, lovely and of good report (Philippians 4:8) What you are doing and thinking is a recipe for disaster for your marriage. Try forcing yourself to sing a good Christian song of praise (or do it in your mind) when you have those thoughts. Even If you don't "do" anything, you will become more and more discontent with your husband if you allow this to continue. Try to use your time better. Instead of daydreaming, read your Bible.
2007-06-05 12:27:21 · answer #3 · answered by Cee T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're married, you're married, you're married... but you're still human. What you're expressing is the desire most people have for acceptance. Wanting to feel attractive to other people doesn't compromise your marriage. Looking your best makes a good impression on everyone. I seriously doubt any gods are even taking notice. Relax, and keep taking care of your looks. They're an asset.
2007-06-05 11:11:46 · answer #4 · answered by link955 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We ALL like to be noticed and thought of as handsome or pretty by the opposite sex whether married or not. This has nothing to do with wanting to be with someone else. It's just a part of human nature.
If it goes too far like hurts your husband or entices another persons husband, then God is upset. I hope that you are not talking about dressing provocatively because this would just advertise disrespect for your self, your husband and your Lord. Dress for your husband.
The people that you are around need to love you and respect you for the person that you are. Not just your physical appearance. Are you hanging out with the wrong people maybe? People who would disrespect you and your husband? Some men who don't love you are definitely willing to disrespect a woman who doesn't respect herself. It is not about you, it is about their ego.
Remember that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
P.S. HUSBANDS,
My husband always notices when I have done my hair, polished my toenails, wear something pretty. He always tells me that I am pretty and that he loves me. He means it because he does love me and I feel it. If you will pay attention to your wife and do these things, she won't need the attention of someone else. Wives and husbands both, need to be loved and adored by their spouse.
2007-06-05 11:21:27 · answer #5 · answered by 4HIM- Christians love 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this was a state of mind before you were married your mind was conditioned to that.You can stop.when you pray ask the Lord to take this desire and thoughts from your mind.Jesus said he gave us POWER over all the power of the enemy of our soul.This is a weak point that the enemy can use to tempt you but you CAN over come.You can recondition your thinking and tell yourself you have the man that you can look good for.Repent if you feel you have lusted in your heart and ask God to help you and He will.He said to ask and you SHALL receive seek and you shall find ask and the door will be opened.
2007-06-05 11:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by flossie mae 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to live a fantasy for some reason and are not fulfilled in your life with God and marriage.
This can not be solved on yahoo..You need counciling with a good Pastor who can help you and you need to do what God has put on your heart for his kingdom. We all have things to do in church and our lives that God has for us.
You are listening to your fleshly desires and will never find happiness there..
If you don't seek help you could end up destroying your marriage and future with God.. Do the right thing.
I think you don't have self esteem and are looking for approval from other men.. Marriage counciling should help and prayer is a must.. Trying to attract other men or even dress for them, who cares really, they don't control who you are or what your value as a person is.. God values you and loves you and everyone else have nothing to do with it.
2007-06-05 11:09:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Jesus said that if you lust in your heart, you have committed adultery. The Bible also says we are to cast down wicked thoughts and take them captive. Thoughts may come, but we don't have to entertain them. God is not pleased that you want other men to look at (lust after) you. It is not Christian behavior, causing others to sin. Since you recognize what you are doing, it's time to do something about it. Pray for forgiveness, and start training your thoughts. You can do it with God's help.
2007-06-05 11:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by beano™ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is natural to want attention from the opposite sex but be careful it can cause problems in your marriage. You may not DO anything ut you are setting yourself up for a hard fall. Feeling are put into play very easily. Back off. fill you life with hobbies or whatever to keep your mind occupied.
2007-06-05 11:10:43 · answer #9 · answered by momof3 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ask God for help in this area.If you are married then your desire should be only for your husband.You draw closer to God and he will draw closer to you.Yes it is a great dissapointment to God.No matter what the reason you desire other guys looks.God should be first and your husband the love of your life.
2007-06-05 11:13:38 · answer #10 · answered by sharen d 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋