Can he get away WITH THIS!?

Question

Well I have been seperated from my husband for while and was hoping to work things out and he was telling me this seperation was temporary,he is in the milatary and is stationed at his base,while I have been staying with family,well he told me I should stay with them to save money,Well little did I know he wanted to save that money for a divorce and had been planning this for months,Today he sent me a text pic of the divorce papers, he is saying he owes me nothing at all finacially,I am still stung and in shock at his cruel behavior,oh yea he also included with the divorce pics a message about how much hotter his girl friend is than me,My question is what can I do about this now,I am scared and do not know what to do,I tried to call his sergent but he was cold and basically told me he can't do anything about him wanting a divorce,also I do not have a job and no way to get around so I am stuck,any advice,info.Thanks

Answer 1

First, his seargent could easily be a friend of his or may be influenced by only hearing whatever tales your husband has told him. He should have referred you to the Command Ombudsman (might be called something else in the branch of service your husband is in) whose purpose is to assist military spouses (typically during a unit's deployment, but they help whenever needed).

Your husband is receiving additional pay in every paycheck for supporting a dependant. If he is not supporting you financially, as he is obligated, then he can get into big trouble with his command for not fulfilling his obligations to his spouse, whether he's planning on divorcing you or not.

Your best bet is to start being a nuisance. Call the base chaplain. Call his base duty office and talk to the OOD (Officer of the Day). Call the base directory and ask to talk to Base Legal. You can even call and talk to his Commanding Officer. You have rights as a spouse and he has an obligation to you, for as long as the two of you are married, regardless of who is at fault for the condition of that marriage.

I'm speaking from personal experience, as my ex tried taking me through the wringer after I kicked her out for doing drugs in my house, pawning my stuff to get her drugs and then becoming a part of an escort service to get more money and drugs. My command wouldn't hear my side of the story, because her father was a retired E-7 and told her who to call. When I looked back at that in later years after a few promotions and a lot of experience, I realized that they were right to insist that I continue supporting her because I made that comittment when I married her. Thankfully, that's way behind me.

Make some calls, get the support you are due, and put him behind you. Don't be vindictive, as it won't help you heal any faster.

Answer 2

Well it sounds like his actions are a bit questionable, and it appears you are gullible to fall for his excuses. The military generally does not generally get involved in personal relationships/marriages, as well they should not. Adultery is covered under the UCMJ, but I have never seen any member get charged with it unless the other party was also in the military. If you were staying with family to "save money," why were you not working? If you have children he owes them support, but owes you nothing. Why should you sit at home all day doing nothing and make a buck of him working hard. That is called charity. Divorce the bum, move on, get a job, some self-respect, some confidence, and some independence. You are an adult and need to take of yourself, because no one else will. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. You need to gather all letters, emails and text messages that you have from him. You are going to need to get a lawyer. They can work you through all the legalities. Check your directory for someone willing to help you. Depending on how long you were married for, where you are living (state) or where the divorce is filed depends on whether he will have to pay you alimony and he may also have to pay your lawyer fees. You have to keep all written communication with him - I can not stress that enough - if he misled you then it can possibly be used against him.
I wish you the best of luck

Oh and his Commanding Officer may be interested in the fact that he has a girlfriend while he is still married

Answer 4

Well, he can easily get away with filing for divorce. But hang onto that note about his hot girlfiend: a jury will eat that up when you hit him up for alimony. He may THINK he owes you nothing, but that is patently untrue. If he has a job and you don't, and if HE ended the relationship and you can prove it, and if HE was playing around, then you can get about half of everything he owns, or will own between now and whenever you get married again. (Assuming, of course, that YOU haven't been playing around, too.)

Unfortunately, it'll be about a year before you can work this through the courts. And if your ex doesn't have much, you won't get much. Still, with the arrogant message about his new GF, you'll have a sympathetic jury.

You have by deepest sympathy.

Answer 5

legally since you have been separated for awhile there might not be anything you can do to him esp. in the military... hes not going to get fired over a divorce. sorry, you might be able to get something financially since you where married to him thats the best i can say at this point.

oh and tech. about the BAH and everything thats only if he claimed you as a dependent, but if he is living on BASE he shouldnt get BAH so i doubt he is getting housing allowance. and tech if you both are "separated" then its an agreed seperation between the two of you and either way you cannot do anything about BAH because it goes off te cost of living in that area.

people really need to learn the military... they cannot do anything to him because even if he did claim you as a dependent the military really couldn't do anything because he prob has you as a dependent on his taxes too.

One last thing i wouldn't go on the crawl up the ladder

Answer 6

I had a friend who got a divorce from her husband while he was in the Army. He didn't want to give her any money but the Army required him to support her because technically she was still his dependant until their divorce was final. She called the Admin. office on base and they sent her a portion of his check every month until their divorce was final.

Answer 7

You can contact his unit and let them know that he has denied you financial support. If you can prove this he will get into trouble and will be forced to pay you the support he owes. The military however cannot force him to stay married. If you can prove that he is sleeping with his current girlfriend while still married to you he can and will get into big trouble for that. Possibly a court-martial. Remember you have to be able to prove everything.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, if he wants a divorce and papers are filed, it'll have to be dealt with. The military has no control over such things unless he violates an article of the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice).

Go to this webpage:
http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/html/uscode10/usc_sup_01_10_10_A_20_II_30_47.html

Search for "divorce" -- you may be entitled to supplementary benefits.

I am sorry for your current distress.

Kind regards,
~H.

Answer 9

u can always contest the divorce get urself a lawyer to look at the papers he might be able to get something out of the deal.Just because they file for divorce doesnt mean u have to sign the papers

Answer 10

If he is married he had to sign a form when he accepted his BAH. That form includes a line that he must support his family with that money. You should call his 1SG and commander immediately and inform them that he is in violation of regulations. They will either already know the regulation or they will confer with JAG.

He cannot kick you to the wayside.