A$$hoLe at work! How can i work well with him?

Question

OK, im an admin. assistant i am 19 years old. This guy i work with USE to be in charge of our office like 5 years ago. Then my boss hired him back for the hurricane season(i work for a disaster relief company). So he is in and out of the office to go work in the field. WELL, when he is in the office, he expects me to get all his work and plus some. He gets paid salary of $1500.00 a week. I get paid hourly $9.50 a week. Well, when he gets in town, i dread it, bc im gonna get swamped with his work. Well, when he gets mad at me when i say, "I can't get to your project right now, it'll be tomorrow until i do" he gets irrate. He blew up on me yesterday bc he couldnt get a rise out of me, then he started to call me names and kept egging me on. So i blew up and sound like a complete monster. He wrote me up and gave to my supervisor, which my supervisor shredded it. He says he knows how that guy is, but how am i suppose to handle it? My boss' are on vacation right now.

My bosses are on vacation so i can't and won't call them. I don't want to be a taddle tail, but still he's like 50 and im 19. There's no reason to call me a B***h or a C**t or stuff like that. We work well together, but no he's got this big head bc he gets paid this much and etc. I dont no what to do, i am so flustered!!!!

Answer 1

First, put in a complaint with your H.R. department.

There is nothing that can upset a control freak more then when you remain calm (grinning from ear to ear) and completely ignore him or keep the words to a total minimum.
Example:
"I need it done NOW." -----You say: "Tomorrow!" and start typing even if you are finding it super hard to concentrate. Look like you are working. Keeping saying "tomorrow!" if he retorts.
"I have a RIGHT to tell you what to do!" You say: "I have a right to refuse. You quit 5 years ago, John Doe is the boss now."
"That doesn't matter!" You say: "That's your opinion." (Repeat a thousand times if you have to and PRETEND like you are working).
"You are a b----." You say: "So are you!"
"Where did you get so lippy?" You say: "I learn from my elders namely you!" (ALWAYS, ALWAYS stay CALM with no anger in your voice. Don't even look him in the eye if you can because you are so busy with more IMPORTANT things.
"You could at least get me a coffee." You say: "Your wife's job!" Then leave the room for a few minutes and come back with a coffee for yourself only.
"Why didn't you get me one?" You say: "No time!"

Be super casual about it even though you feel like giving him a good kick where it hurts.

Answer 2

Because your boss knows what an a ss he is, relax just a little. Maintain your professionalism at all times (this way he can't really say you are out of line) but continue to let him know that you will do whatever you can for him once you have finished the projects given to you by your supervisor. When he gets stupid, just look at him like he is crazy. (you know, just look at him, no expression) Even when he goes nuts, still do it. If he goes into some kind of screaming fit, when he is done...say "Are you finished?.....As I was saying....." He will do everything he can to get a reaction out of you....don't give him one. I know it is tough to bite your tongue...but what this accomplishes is revealing the truth. Everyone who witnesses it will see what a complete moron he is (and probably attest to it) and even if nobody sees him--he is going to become more and more hesitant about the way he treats you because it does him no good.

I had someone do something like this to me last week. She always comes after me and chews me out...don't work for her or with her. She is a manager of another department. Third time was the charm for me....she came back and asked a question, and when I gave her the answer (which directed her to the appropriate person) she started screaming at me. I told her nicely AGAIN...and she continued. I put my hand up...said "I'm going to tell you one more time. Go talk to """". I am merely the messenger. I am NOT doing this with you." and walked away. Sweet as pie to me now.

I admire you....at 19, I didn't have this much bravery.
Good luck!

Answer 3

The good news is your boss shredded the write up, and knows that guys an asshole.
But this type of treatment towards you is unacceptable!
Name calling, especially the words you said, is unacceptable.
Be glad the week is almost over, talk to your boss's when they get back.
Do you have an hr dept? You need to tell them immediatly about the name calling--thats a law suit waiting to happen!
In the future, if someone is adding more responsibilities to your job and making it impossible to do, you need to tell your supervisors.
This is not your fault, don't take it personally, that guy has a penis the size of a peanut. If your boss' don't rectify this, move on. Be sure to tell them about the name calling.

Answer 4

Everyone is right in what they say, and it's alot of negative energy either way.
I suggest you try what I did. You need to to redirect this a$$hole and blind side him. Pattern INTERRUPT you need two learn the tools of taking charge. To put the ball in your court and win, you need to not let him control you.
If you want to let it go, let it go, don't be negative.
Find ANYTHING at all in common. He's 50, so is he married? kids, or maybe grandkids or dogs. Anything you can try to get common ground will force him to stop - trust me.
Give him sloppy pmf positive male feedback.
Don't react, just shake your head and write it down, or request an email. Keep it Short and Simple KISS
Get the ball in your court, try it for the week, you have nothing to loose. A type D personality, wants things his way and no other way, and is always right.
Water Cooler Wisdom, I now know that when I work with this type of person I like to discuss my children to play on the maternal side. On Mondays you ask how was your weekend, and listen. Take notes on the little details people give you in conversations, you will impress them when you recall/retrieve it, like a grandson/wife/or childs name? That was a tip I use, listen and smile, but know you control how you react. This is a really good opportunity to pull his cords. Have fun - parents do this with kids, Teachers with students it's all about trial and error.
Usually guys who complain about something someone does, they are projecting, it's really something they do. Thats funny, listen and learn.
Good Luck and have a great day tomorrow.

Answer 5

I agree with all who state DOCUMENT! Documentation has came in pretty handy in the past for me.

Secondly, what gives this man the right to name call? He should but out on his @$$ looking for another job right now. I don't know what type of company that you work for, but man if I got out of line with my coworker or someone disrespected me like that, disciplinary action would have been taken.

I am and Admin Asst and I know exactly what you're saying about not being able to get stuff done ASAP! I have been there a couple of times. People think that because they procastinated till the very last minute to get a project started that it means emergency on my part. Then I can't do the work ASAP because I have other priorities like timekeeping.

Third, there are better opportunities out there. I know that we get all comfortable and intimidated to start something new but like I said better opportunities. Means better salary, packages, hours, etc. I would seek new employment so that I wouldnt get stressed out over this @$$hole that you work for.

Answer 6

hes an butthole but he definetly has no right to call you the names he did. you need to set some ground rules with this guy and tell him youre not putting up with his foolishness. You do need to make youre boss aware of the situation and explain that you two handled it. Being that you are probably one of the youngest people in your office he probably just looks at you like a child. NEVER yell back if he is yelling at you and you dont say anything back it really makes him look bad.

Answer 7

It's good you reported the situation to your boss, and it's good that they are aware of this guy's behavior.
However, his behavior is completely unprofessional, outrageous, and unacceptable, and you DON'T have to stand for it. But yelling back at him won't do any good. Here's what you do:
-From now on, treat him with cold, rigid politeness and nothing else. Don't yell, but don't be "nice," either.
-If he asks you to do something, inform him that your workload is full, and your supervisor has directed you not to take on any additional work for anybody, and recommend that he either do the work himself or delegate it to (insert name of appropriate admin).
-If he says *anything* rude or calls you any name, immediately stop whatever you are doing, and write down exactly what he says, including the date and time. Let him see that you are doing this. If he asks why, tell him that you are reporting his unacceptable behavior to your bosses when they return, and you wish to present a full and accurate record, since you intend to file for sexual harassment charges if he does not desist.
-If he doesn't back off, file for sexual harassment. Your bosses are fools for allowing their employees and their business to suffer for the income and experience this man offers.

Answer 8

The hell is your HR department. Document all the occassions that those incidents happen. Are there any witnesses? Have them write down the incidents also. Present that to your manager and HR, if not HR someone above your manager. You should not be working in a hostile environment.

Answer 9

Welcome to the real world. There's an asshole in every office. There isn't much you can do about t.
You can quit and go to another job,and guess what? You're liale to find one there.
Don't let the creep get under your skin.
your supervisor knows the guy is an asshole and he shredded the write up.Be happy you have someone on your side.

Answer 10

i would not get into an argument with him for any reason.
i don't care how rude/loud he gets. stay calm and professional. avoid him. do your work and stay out of trouble.
keep a note book handy and write down dates, times, and what he says.
after about a month or so, take it to HR. if they don't do anything about it, start looking into your rights as far as harassment in the work place goes.
if they fire you for nothing maybe you can sue them.