I'm off to a funeral tomorrow, someone on my girlfriends side. What should I say to the guy that's lost his wife when I greet him? He's 84, his wife was 82 and died of cancer. Also their daughter's will be there too, what should I say to them when I greet them too? I don't know any of them very well, only having met them a couple of times.
Somehow "sorry for your loss" seems so cheesey, but would that be the thing to say, or can you suggest anything else?
2007-06-05 08:15:41 · 23 answers · asked by shaun3937 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just say how sorry you are to hear about him losing his wife or if your talking to his daughters their Mum, the thing is to just be yourself, if you didn't know him very well then you can't really reminisce with him about her. I'm sure he'll appreciate that people feel awkward in these sort of situations, you might find that he will start the conversation as he'll want to thank you for attending, after that you'll probably feel more relaxed. I wouldn't worry to much about it as there are so many people at a funeral, and with it being such an emotional occasion half the time people might not even recall who said what afterwards, it's just so overwhelming. Don't worry I'm sure once you're there it will all just happen naturally and that he will just be so pleased that you and your girlfriend are there to pay your respects to his late wife. After all just being there is the most important thing and I'm sure he'll really appreciate you going and showing your support.
2007-06-05 08:49:23 · answer #1 · answered by clara 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss is the only thing you can say. It is common for a reason because it is succint and complete. If you want it to be less Cheesy, however, when you say it, shake his hand with both of yours and for her, Shake her hand and with the other, lightly touch her elbow. This is a reassuring and comforting body language. If you feel a little uncomfortable, watch the funeral directors for a while and see how they do it.
If you were closer to the family, you might commen on what a great loss it isor relate soem anticdote from the deceaseds life - but you don't have one. Be polite, quiet and remember you are there to stand beside your girlfriend and support her in this time of sadness and that is all the family could possbily want from you. :)
2007-06-05 08:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Cindy H 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to say is "I am sorry for your loss." Don't try to say that it is a blessing that somebody died, and don't try to say that you know what they are going through because your grandmother and your Aunt Sally also died. It is best to say "I am sorry for your loss." or "My deepest sympathy."
You should greet everybody in the family. Most likely they will all be in a receiving line at either the viewing or the funeral.
Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the survivors. It is important for you to be there and show that you care for your girl friend and her family.
2007-06-05 09:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by Mark 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with saying sorry for your loss. They are of the age where that is the acceptable thing to say anyway. Just go with the flow at the time. If you try to memorise something you will probably get it wrong. There is no "right" thing to say when someone has been taken by cancer no matter how old they are.
2007-06-05 08:27:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Shake his hand and say, " From what my girlfriend has told me of your wife, sir, you have been most fortunate having walked on this earth by her side. Take good care of yourself."
Take the daughter's hand into both of yours and say, "Losing a mother is hard. She would be proud to see the grace that I see in your eyes today."
2007-06-05 08:28:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
People may pass away because of many reasons, life can be cruel. But no force is stronger than true love. We have memories that are treasured from them. And they will always be with you for ever and eturnity in your heart.
Im sorry
2007-06-05 08:34:26 · answer #6 · answered by Tinchy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Saying "I am so Sorry" is enough.
Keep it simple. The Bible tells us to "weep with those who weep" The best you can do is sit next to the person in mourning and just "be there" That means more than words.
2007-06-05 09:33:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry I didn't have the opportunity to get to know your wife/mom better. I hope one day you'll share some of your special memories of her with me.
2007-06-05 08:20:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anything but a platitude (e.g. she lived a long life...you were lucky to have her for so long, things will get better....blah, blah blah). Try saying somelthing like, "You must feel very sad and I am sorry." Address how they are feeling and you will be fine.
2007-06-05 08:27:44 · answer #9 · answered by yellowskiing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't say anything. Offer him a hug/ handshake and give a sympathetic smile. Dont force something sincire, it might make him feel worse.
2007-06-05 08:38:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋