Going to kick daughter out of house?

Question

Should've took u guys advice b4 and kicked 19 y/o daughter out of house. am so stupid, i am a real, genuine idiot. her boyfriend got kicked out now he is in my house against my better judgement (stupid) and he is lazy. found out he is dumb -- can barely fill out job application. my daughter is evil/manipulative toward me. I am very angry. Please give me advice on what 2 say 2 them 2day when i tell them 2 leave w/o losing my head. what do i do if they don't leave?

Answer 1

It's way past when!!! This is the thing:

1: It's your house!!!!!
2: It's your house!!!!!
3: It's your house!!!!!

Don't let your daughters guilt trip keep you from making probably one of the toughest decisions you have to make. Put the heifer out!!! In your mind, you think that she won't make it, will she eat, how will she survive, or here's the best one: I must be the worst mother in the world.

Yes, she will eat; yes she will survive and No, you are not the worst mother in the world.

I'll say it again, put the heifer out and her lazy boyfriend too!!! Your piece of mind is the only important thing right now. I had one of those heifers and I put her out. She didn't want to live by the house rules, which were not hat bad. You know, the basics, go to school, get your grades up, clean your room and do some chores and be in by curfew.
This girl skipped school and everything else. I put her out once and let her come back because she ran that guilt thing on me, only for the same behavior to continue.

It took a minute, but now that she is on her own, I will not lift a finger to help. (okay, maybe once, her phone was disconnected, I felt I had to at least be able to talk to her and she needed to be able call 911 if she needed serious help. She was keeping bad company) But she is doing well. Not as she should be, but she finally starting to learn some of the lessons I tried to teach her a home. She was able to admit that being a home was not as bad as being on her own. We can't change the past, but our relationship is better than it has been in a while.

Here's what yu gotta do; and stick to it!!

1. Give her a quick deadline to be out of the house.
2. Don't left a finger to help her move.
3. Don't ask her where she is going.
4. Don't give her any money, she has a man, let her use him.
5. Change the locks.
6. Most Important: If you have family in the area, call them and tell them do not take her in. She will try to manipulate you through them.

Good Luck, Be the Queen In Your Castle!!

Answer 2

Your story sounds so familiar. I also have a 22 year old, with similar problems. I kicked her out, then let her back in several times. She finally got pregnant, and had a baby in February. This straightened her out, and she's doing well now. It takes a lot of strength to kick your child out of your house, even if you know it's the right thing. You have to weigh all the factors - are there other children in the house? Is she costing you money (more than the usual expenses)? Is she making any progress toward independence? I think kicking her out is good, but only if you can stand firm and insist that she accomplish certain goals before she comes back. But, as parents, it's so hard to see your child suffering. I'd suggest helping her to find cheap, safe housing, like the YWCA. Tell her what she needs to do in order to come home, and keep very much involved. You're not abandoning her, you're trying to help her to become a successful adult.

Answer 3

tell your daughter that she is 19 years old and needs to act her age, she is a grown women and she needs to realize that you brought her into this world and you can make her life a living hell, and let her know that just because you went against your better judgement on letting her boyfriend live with you, you could have said no and then where would she be! Let them know that if they want to act like that in an environment where they are living the high life and they cant respect the person providing it to them, then they need to leave now and if they dont like it you will have someone come and help them leave. Meaning the cops. Just let them know that this is your house and you are not allowing this behavior anymore, just because she is your daughter by law you only had to provide for her until she was 18years old, give them the list of things on why you are kicking them out and then tell them to pack their stuff and get the hell out of your house.

Answer 4

Sorry about that.

Tell them like this:

"Guys, I am sorry that it has come to this but instead of being a jerk about it, I thought I'd give you a chance to prepare: I am giving you one month to move out, this will give you both time to find work and start saving your money, during this time, I will help you get what you basically need in order to maintain these jobs and help open bank accounts if needed. If after one week, I do not hear of any progress what so ever,. you will come home to a locked door with ALL of your things either at a friends place, or at a relatives place. This cannot go on any longer, I am sorry."
Now some will disagree with that statement but in the age of boomerang children and helicopter parents, its almost an accepted norm for kids to go home and just leech off their parents. There are children that truly fit the definition of what a boomerang child is, and thats different, but a freeloader with her beau sucking you dry is not it. Get em out. Find out what legal right you have also before doing this. They may be able to fight their way back in and then you are truly screwed.
Good Luck!

Answer 5

There are many ways to handle this and not all of them easy. You might want to sit them down and explain to them why you have arrived at this decision, although your daughter will know why. Always have a backup plan. You never know how anyone is going to regret to being told to get out. Before you sit down with them call a friend that you trust. Tell her what is going on, what you are going to do and how long you expect it to take. Have her call you back to insure your safety. If they wont leave, you can call the cops. You may have an easier time evicting him than you do her but we shall see. If they dont give you much of an argument about it set a time limit for them to be out. After that date have the locks on the house changed. Try to be there when they come for stuff so they dont leave with more than they came with. Always protect yourself.

Answer 6

Before you get started, cool down. You sound pissed off posting on yahoo answers...When you talk to them, be direct as you possibly can. You can't run an household with too many "adults" and no one wants to take responsibility like an adult. I would start off "Its unfortunate, but this living arrangement is not working"....I understand you (like everyone else) have rules for your house for a reason. You can't allow your daughter and her idiot boyfriend to come in and do what they want in YOUR house. If they are not working, thats on them...the real world is not going to pat them on the back and give them a place to stay when they don't have $$$ for rent. Sounds like you've been used and finally fed up...good luck and don't look back at your decision, it just might grow them up!!!

Answer 7

Unfortunately depending on your state you have to give both of them a 30 day notice. I would have something print out and sign it. Hand her a copy and him a copy in front of a witness. Let both of them know they are not allowed to be in the house when you are not there. Let both of them know the yare not allowed to eat your food. Go as far as putting a lock on your refrigerator for the next 30 days. Lock up your computer and telephone everday before you leave for work. Let them know they are unwanted guest. Make things so uncomfortable for the both of them. What you do need know is you may be severing ties with your daughter by kicking her out, but you need to figure out if your piece of mind is more important than your daughters feelings

Answer 8

The key is to remain calm and to be the adult in the room. Invite a friend over to be a support to you. It might help diffuse the situation. You might even try having this conversation away from the house if possible. I recommend that you not kick them out tonight, but give them exactly one week or three days, or whatever you think you can handle. Sending them packing tonight, might make them feel too desperate, and that can cause people to lash out. Tell them that this is your decision and you are not changing your mind. You wish them luck, but at this stage in her life and in yours, you think it's best that they try to figure out how to do it on their own. It's is important that your daughter understand that you are not telling her that you don't want to be around her, but that as an adult, it's time she stands on her own two feet. And, that as her mother you will always be there for any emotional support she might need, but that's it for the time being. She will likely think that you are horrible and evil for doing this, but as a mom it's important to recognize when it's time to let go (or nudge along) adult children who can't get out on their own. Good luck, and try not to feel too bad. Ultimately, this is for your daughter's own good.

Answer 9

first, them not leaving isn't a option! call the police on there *** if they don't want to comply! tell them a week in advance that they are going to have to leave! that the time has come for them to leave the nest! by tell them a week in advance they have time to look for a place! Tell them you miss having own space and they are taking up too much!they are adults and you cant carry 2 adults! depending if you are giving them 7 days or 5 days start packing up there **** around the 4th day so they see that you are dead serious!

Answer 10

Just be calm and straight with both. Tell them that they are no longer able to live in the house with you and they need to secure another place to live. If they refuse to leave, call the police to have them removed, it is your house and since she is of age, you are not required to maintain housing for her or her boyfriend.