Pagans: How do I get past my anger and animosity towards Mormons and Christians?

Question

I am an ex-mormon and I am a (very) newly practicing witch. How do I get past the anger I have over the 27 years that the mormon church took away from me and the pain they put myself and my family through? I have been out of the church for almost 6 years now, but I can't seem to get past the anger. Any suggestions?

I am assuming that if you are answering this question you are a pagan!
Please don't preach to me, it just makes you look ridiculous and you are wasting your breath. I don't believe in Christianity and no amount of "you're going to hell if you don't accept jesus" is going to make me think otherwise. Do you realize that when you tell me what a horrible person I am because I don't believe in jesus it makes YOU look bad.

For the record, I never said anything about HATING mormons or christians. I am angry, but I HATE no one.

Answer 1

No one can leave the church without some battle scars. exmormon.org and postmormon.com (?) have people willing to listen and share experiences. Yahoo exmormon group is another source to 'let it out' to a sympathetic audience.

Yahoo answers isn't a very good source of advice.

Answer 2

This is a really hard thing to do, and congratulations on knowing that you're angry and that you should work on it. In UEW we have a document called the Affirmation of Acknowledgment, that states specifically that we understand that we can't hold any religion responsible for the action of a small group or single person, any more than we can hold a single person responsible for the actions of a religion.
I came into Wicca via an agnostic stint after leaving a fundamentalist Baptist church. We probably don't have the same issues, but at least I can sympathize with what you're going through...

It *is* possible to get past it. The first step for me was realizing that being angry was OK, and that I had an absolute right to be angry. After that, it was realizing that being angry was a burden on *me,* not on the church/religion I left. If you're always angry you're expending a fantastic amount of energy on a group and philosophy you want to leave behind. In essence, you're giving them power over you, and I'm sure you don't want that... But unlike what you may have been taught in church, you are NOT obligated to forgive somebody for hurting you --for them-- you need to do it for you.

To get started it might be best of you craft a little ritual or separation. Do you have anything left from your Mormon days you're willing to part with? For instance, when I got (happily) divorced, I had a full circle ritual in which I burned my dried wedding bouquet in my cauldron, and then flushed the ashes down the toilet. Very cathartic! It's a tangible act that helps encourage those rather intangible ideas.

Most likely the anger will never completely go away. But the less thought you give to it the less control it has over you and your actions.

Answer 3

You had a bad experience with a group of people. The important thing to remember is that they are just that...a group of people.
I've spoken to folks who've had bad experiences with Wiccans, as well, or with Pagans, or with any number of other beliefs. That doesn't mean that all people who adhere to a certian belief are bad, only that a group of people who happened to adher to that belief possibly twisted it to suit themselves, or perhaps used the belief system as a control.
Learn to think of people as individuals. Some Wiccans are very nice people, so are some pagans, some Christians, some Vampires, etc, etc...
Such belief systems as Wicca are fairly new in the United States, I'm sure you know that.
I've had people tell me that Wicca is only about fifty years old. Of course, I'm sure you know that it dates back much much further than that. It helps if you educate yourself about different belief systems, so that you understand where people are coming from. These folks that tell you that, without Jesus you are going to hell, for instance...they truly believe that, and many of them are sincerely concerned for you as a human being...they are acting out of the love they have in their heart toward a fellow human being. Hey, time was when they would have hung you, or burned you alive, or drowned you, just for admitting that you were a witch. Think about that.
I do pray that you will be able to get past your anger...and maybe take a second look at the reasons you chose the belief system you did, and the implications this may have on your future...


OH, btw...
I am a Christian.
God(dess) bless you...or Blessed be, which means the same thing to me...

Answer 4

I believe you. I haven't been that long in any church, and I've never been Mormon, but I *do* sympathize with the anger. Some people work it out through therapy; others through activism. I know I needed some therapy to stop cringing at the sight of a Christian fish. Also, simply time as a Witch, putting new "tapes" in your head to replace the old ones and getting new friends and experiences, will help a lot. The more you learn, do, and grow as a Witch, the less you'll think of yourself as an ex-Mormon.

There are many sites on the Web for people leaving a controlling religion, which leads to forums and even real-world meetings. Here's some that may help.

http://www.exmormon.org/
Mega-site

http://exmormon.meetup.com/
Real-world meetings!

Answer 5

As you travel on your path and you get deeper into the Mysteries, you will find it very easy. One day you'll realize that you haven't thought about them in months and have no feelings toward them what so ever. It comes with learning what matters and what doesn't. The past only matters as much as you let it affect your future. Don't worry now about forgiving them, but understand that your future growth as a Witch will be affected if you don't eventually just let it go. You can let it go without forgiving.

Now that you've let go of the "Do this so you can get into heaven" nonsense, you are free to really enjoy your life on Earth. Submerge yourself in it and you will be so full of thankfulness, love and joy that nothing else will matter. Meditate, pray, talk to your Gods, take good care of your family and yourself, learn relaxation techniques (I am a big fan of Yoga, personally), eat wholesome foods, exercise, dig in the garden, sing with the birds and the healthier and happier you become as you embrace the Earth and celebrate your self as as a part of it, anger will just be one of those things you don't have time for.

Answer 6

If you don't mind advice from an atheist... though I've been told by pagan friends that I'd be a good witch...

27 years is a really long time to have been trapped in a faith where you didn't feel you belonged and I can understand how hard it must be to put that behind you.
Just tell yourself that you're out of it now and that's what counts. Also the people who hurt you probably thought they were acting in your interest... in a warped way.

Answer 7

I have had anger issues with individuals who have hurt me and it took me a long long time for someone to give me a practical way to actually release that anger. Here's what they told me to do:

Sit quietly and imagine the person you are angry at. Get a very clear picture of them in your mind and try to see them happy, smiling and at peace. This can be very hard. I did it once a day for a full week before I could even begin to see peace or happiness in the face of my person.

In some cases it is impossible to do this and one first can gain benefit from imagining that person suffering the consequences one thinks they should suffer to make up for the pain they caused. It is only recommended to do this one time to help get the anger our of your system - then try to see them happy again. This is for your own good more than anything - for it is never healthy to dwell upon violence or negativity. They don't need to be delighted - they just need to be peaceful, calm. Replace the nasty image in your mind with something more palatable, really.

Remember, the point of forgiveness is not to condone or accept the terrible actions of another - the point is to unburden yourself of the negative emotions that damage your health and keep you from fully living and enjoying your life.

I imagine that there are individuals that you could do this exercise on, but you might also do it for the church building itself, sort of - see the building full of happy people and well cared for, that sort of thing.

Peace!

Answer 8

I'd say first be patient with yourself. You've broken away from a very intense control situation, and it's natural to swing on the pendulum the other way for a while.

I advise you to allow yourself to grieve for what you lost, but going forward focus on positive things. Success, and happiness, and finding peace, are the very best sort of revenge. Create your life how you want it to be, what a lovely positive act of defiance!

Books and movies on this theme may also help you feel better. Like, the Clan of the Cave Bear series, Women who Run with the Wolves, and any story of a heroine escaping into a new and happy life.

Feelings of anger and darkness have a positive use. They are there to protect us and urge us into action of self-defense and making our world a better place. These feelings are not to be shoved down or aside, but understood, accepted, and embraced and used in a positive way. In this way you turn darkness into light.

There are appropriate ways to express anger. Reading, writing, drawing, painting, voting, supporting others, speaking up against what you know is wrong. Let yourself feel your anger, but don't let it control you or make you do something you wouldn't feel good about.

Wishing for you to find peace and happiness.

Answer 9

I even have study the Bible each and each of ways via, parts of it back and back. I want the OT for the reason this is often in tale format and has no longer been prettied up as lots. I even have tried numerous circumstances to study the Koran and have made it for the period of the numerous passages (sirrah?). It rambles so and keeps taking breaks to place as much as Allah, so it does not carry my interest very properly. I even have been advised that the interpretation I even have won't be between the greater helpful ones. however I even have not study the e book of Mormon, I even have study comparisons on Mormon, Catholic, Protestant, and Jehovah's Witness denominations with some quotations. upload: Oh, yeah. i'm additionally working my way for the period of the Message (a movie). this is the story of Mohammad (saws)written and directed by using a non secular Muslim. however Mohammad (saws) in no way seems in the movie (taboo against graven photographs) the writer of the movie grow to be focused by using numerous minor Jihads. Of thrilling observe is that he filmed the movie concurrently in English and Arabic using the same instruments mutually as changing the numerous actors.

Answer 10

Just never stop congratulating yourself that you got out. That takes some courage, you know. Be proud of yourself - you have every right to be. 27 years is a long time and sure, you'll get bouts of anger and regret, but something good DID come of it after all. You have stepped out into your personal freedom.
And of course, do energy work to reclaim the parts of your "soul" or "essence" that you have left behind in those years.

Answer 11

anger and animosity can eventually kill a person...what does not kill a person will make them strong....Now that you are a practicing witch has that worked for you? So you have been hurt by the Church's. Mormon as will as Christian......I can only guess,mad at God too. I am sorry that it was not a pleasant experience and I assure you that I can feel the same,because
I have been there too. God still loves you but he did not promise us a rose garden,if they did it to him believe me they will do it to you. Can you cast spells that stop the world from evolving or change the things in the earth? There are no suggestions to get rid of your emotions but you,only you can do it......show love for the ones that have hurt you,God did; loved them anyway.