My daughter is 3 and her dad has been in and out of her life since I got married in 2004. Natalie considers my husband her dad because we started dating when she was 2 mts old and got married when she was 7 mts old and he is the one that takes care of her and puts her to bed everynight. Well her dad only keeps her for about 24 hrs on his weekendsand he decided that he wanted her for the 42 days in the summer. My daughter has been there since May 19th. She came home this past weekend and cried the whole way back. It tears my heart out because she kept saying that we didn't love her and she wanted to stay with us and her brother. Her dad doesn't care. He said that she cries everyday and when we picked her up on friday, she indicated to a spot on her butt where she said that he hit her and she told her doll on the way
home, "stop crying! or I'll give you something to cry about." I'm really concerned. Is there anything I can do?
2007-06-05 06:02:26 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Until my ex found out that I got married in 11/2007, he had no desire to visit and he was going to sign over his rights, now he refuses to.
2007-06-05 06:37:24 · update #1
It's court ordered visitation. He's the type of guy that has called child protective services on me and will not lose an opportunity to put me in jail. So, my husband and I follow the guidelines of the paperwork ver very closely.
2007-06-05 06:39:52 · update #2
PLEASE READ THIS FIRST...... you don't have to let him have her at all... i know your not trying to keep him out of her life but he has to be reasonable it is very important for the child well being.... she does not understand all that is going on and it is up to you to protect her.... i don't suggest child service getting involved their are very farther friendly. and if there is abuse they may charge you for exposing her to the abuse and take her away from you as well.... i suggest you talk to a good paralegal (since you cant afford a lawyer) that can get you started in family court, they will set up appropriate visit according to whats best for the child....if you need a referal you can email me at... cperezfs5@yahoo.com
2007-06-05 18:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the big question is weather you have a custody order or child support order. In most jurisdictions you can get child support even if you don't allow visitation. Also the non-custodial parent has limited rights to enforce visitation. If you have court ordered visitation you should contact the county office that enforces it regarding the behavior otherwise if it isn't court ordered your best bet is to not allow visitation and wait for him to bring the issue before the court at which time you should contest and ask the court for full legal and physical custody. If you are afraid that you will lost child support most counties have offices that will help you enforce child support. Your other option is to decide if your husband wants to adopt and if the natural father is willing to terminate rights. It is unlikely that the court would terminate rights based on a child's claim of a spanking or not liking the parent. you would need a very good and very expensive attorney to bring such a case.
however if you do ultimately want to terminate the natural fathers rights and have the child adopted by your husband the best way to convince the child this is in the best interest of the child is to live as if that were her father until such time that you can afford the attorney to bring the suit.
2007-06-05 13:22:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make your lawyer a priority. Take care of your daughter.
Is there a custody order? Is he on the birth certificate? Has DNA been established? Does he pay child support??? Or is this just voluntary visitation.
Make an agreement with your lawyer to make payments and get him involved.
Maybe her Father just has no Fathering skills. He might be willing to sign away his parental rights so your Husband could adopt her if he is willing.
Have a conversation about how difficult 3 years olds are and maybe he would want to reconsider having her so long in the summer. My guess is he just doesn't know her and she doesn't know him.
It might pay to record what she had to say about what he said to her. Couldn't hurt Evidence could be needed. Record phone conversations so if any rash statements are made you have those recorded. Make sure you keep your side of the conversation neutral and under control. Good Luck.
2007-06-05 13:23:51 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did the court order that she go with her dad all summer or did he decide on it? If the court didn't order it tell him he can't have her because you believe he's abusing her and she's not happy there. Let him take you to court. If the court ordered it report him to child social services or go back to court to try to get it changed. Money is only money. Your daughter is forever.
2007-06-05 13:09:18 · answer #4 · answered by PK211 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From your post, I am guessing your daughter's father has court ordered visitation or partial custoday. If so, I would call child protective services immediately! If not, do not send your daughter to his home. Write down exactly what you witnessed and what your daughter said.
2007-06-05 13:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by Chase 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This needs to be sorted, you can't hit a 3 year old, def go to child protection. How dare he want your baby for the Summer, Please get it sorted,you are at an emotional time anyway so you need no extra stress,Take care and Good Luck. Be Strong.xx
2007-06-05 16:55:17 · answer #6 · answered by pups 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you could turn him into child protection services...then they can tell a judge that he does not need to see her or that he needs supervised visits. I think that would just depend on how hard your daughter got "spanked" and what type of abuse it is.....
It really depends on the situation....you can always make payment arrangements w/ your lawyer and see if he would be willing to take your ex back to court....i dunno sounds like a difficult situation!!
***Good Luck w/ this I know its tough!!
2007-06-05 13:06:50 · answer #7 · answered by tll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact a local legal aid organizaation in your area. Sounds to me as if your ex is bitter and uncaring. Do this immediately.
2007-06-05 13:14:13 · answer #8 · answered by mrsbasemore 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you call child propective services???? If he is hitting your child you can prevent him from seeing her.
2007-06-05 14:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by Natalie B 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋