We planned to get married in Spring of 2008 but now are considering getting married before he goes. He is a single father and his son will be staying with me. Are there any benefits in getting married now vs. in the spring?
2007-06-05 05:44:57 · 26 answers · asked by robynd123 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Drop the kid off at military school and come stay with me.
2007-06-05 05:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get married before he goes then if god forbid something happens to him you will have been married to the one you love even for a short time. It might also give you more pull with his son legally because you are actually married. You will be his step-mother not just his dad's girlfriend. If you still want the big wedding do civil ceremony now then church wedding later. I would get married right away so he can get you a military id and benefits settled before he leaves. I think he gets more pay if married too. That would help with expenses while he is gone and you are taking care of his son in case you need to take days off from your job for Dr appointments or sickness of his son.
2007-06-06 23:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is in the military too, and we had also planned a wedding for spring of 2008, He's gone for a six month deployment starting in January, so the spring wedding is not going to happen. We're getting married in December. My reasons for choosing this are because then I'll be a military wife instead of a military girlfriend, and I'll be able to go on base, and have access to the military resources. Also, if his son is staying with you while he's gone, you'll have a stronger legal background if the two of you are married. Good luck!
2007-06-06 11:23:04 · answer #3 · answered by super E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love him then it does not matter when you get married. I am military and it really helped knowing I had family to come home to while I was in Iraq. I also know if you are not his wife the military will not recognize you. I mean there may be things you need to do for him or for his son and you will not be able to. I think you should marry him now then have a big ceremony when he comes home. The military has a lot of support for military spouses whose husband or wives are deployed. It will be nice to have other women and men to speak to who are going through the same thingy ou are. They also have nights where you can bring his son and they will watch his son while you get a chance to eat and drink and talk to other women in your situation. If you really love him and you really want to marry him don't put so much on the wedding ceremony that you forget about the meaning of marriage. You can always have the party later. Good Luck and God bless!!!
2007-06-05 13:13:25 · answer #4 · answered by NIKKIMAC 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well...I would think there would be benefits for the wellfare of the child. I know this sounds crazy but on a TV show the soldier was thought dead and his kids were staying with his fiancee and they took the kids from her. Also another thing is death benefits. In the unfortuante event you would not be eligible ofr any benefits he was to pass away. Maybe get married at the JOP and then still have the big party when he gets back. Just some thoughts. CONGRATS!!
2007-06-05 12:58:23 · answer #5 · answered by MICH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you have worked out all the financial stuff and you have known each other for two years or more. If that is the case, then you would not need to wait. Why now? One would be that you would then be mom and if he is killed, there is no question about where he ends up. Some folks more familiar with military might know how that system works.
All that being said, I have heard the opinion expressed that a long engagement period is good because after you set a ring and a date, the prospect of marriage becomes real and you do some introspection. So, you might want to hold off and even postpone the wedding date until a year after his return.
2007-06-05 12:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are no benefits if you get married now or then. If you get married now his son will have developed a mother, a man who will go to Iraq and be proud to say, my wife. If you have a immediate marriage now then when he returns you can have a bigger wedding in Spring 2008. There is nothing wrong with that either. Good Luck to you both.
2007-06-05 12:50:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just that he's go off to Iraq with you two being married and if he has to stay longer than the 4 months the deed is done and you wont have to postpone. You also have the child to think of...if your fiance were to pass way over there and you were not married then you could not keep that child in your care. Not to mention you would not be eligilble for any death benefits. I would seriously consider doing it then celebrate when he gets back....you'll have two things to celebrate then. (but dont make plans for a party until he returns as he could be asked to extend his stay there.)
2007-06-05 13:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and get married now only if you are completely ready to. Guys need an insurance policy when they are in the Military and it will make both of you feel more comfortable while you are so far away from eachother. Plus if you are married you will get a lot more benefits from the Military.
2007-06-05 12:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ Rachel The Great ♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think if you marry him before he goes you will be able to handle all of his business for him. I would also make sure he gives written permission to care for his son and make all medical decisions for him in case of illness. You must be so proud of him . I appreciate our military so much! They are making a difference in Iraq. I recently met a man and his family from Iraq. He escaped from Iraq 15 years ago. He was one of the people Saddam Hussein tortured. He said he was a monster. He said he still has family there and it has been a blessing to have the Americans there. Their lives are so much better. He said he didn't know why they didn't show that. Bless your fiancee for his service to our country. I hope you have a beautiful wedding!
2007-06-05 13:05:39 · answer #10 · answered by 2012 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've got a lot of good answers here already but, i wanted to reitterate that you would then be the legal guardian of his son, and be able to take better care of him while he is gone. Thats alot better than not being able to to anything for him. Also he will get an additional $250/mth seperation pay, plus BAH which varies by ur zip code, you can find exact amounts here https://secureapp2.hqda.pentagon.mil/perdiem/bah.html in addition to possibly hazard pay and his base pay and also you and his son have full medical/dental coverage at very very little cost if any. I am leaving in a lil over a month for at least a year and my finace and i decided to get married and are doing so in like 2 weeks, cause in our case the pros outweighed the cons. if you both are ready and are positive thats what you want, then you should do it. we decided to do it because we were gonna do it anyway and why not move it up so we would have no regrets, also so if something happens to me she haves rights as a wife. also i was concerned if something bad were to happen to her while i am gone then i at least have a chance to come home if i need to whereas if we are just engaged i wouldnt have a choice. just makes sense to me. ps good luck and thank him for his service
2007-06-05 13:08:07 · answer #11 · answered by brodie32 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋