Did everyone struggle with money when they had small children and had only been married a couple years?

Question

I'd only like to hear from experienced parents or couples. Please assure me, financially, it gets better in the years to come! I feel like although we make good money, there's never enough when it comes to small kids, mortgage, medical bills, new cars and house repairs...

Remember I'm not asking for advice...which I'm getting a lot of. I just need reassurance because my parents aren't around. Not judgements on my money decisions or why we have this or that please. Thanks!

Answer 1

I think (feel) it got better for us. One thing that helped my husband and I were reading financial periodicals and books. I recently read Automatic Millionaire, David Bach. It was an easy read and made a lot of sense.

Another thing I started doing when the kids were young was clipping coupons and shopping at resale stores. I vowed I would never purchase anything at retail price. I also started Christmas shopping in January and was finished by August. We also keep our change in a jar throughout the year and use it for our vacation spending money. I think little saving ideas like these helped me keep our finances in focus.

Our boys are now 13,12, 9 & 6. I feel that because we watched our finances we taught our children the value of a dollar.

Answer 2

I don't know about everyone, but it got better as the years went on with my family. I got married at 22, had my first kid at 25 and a second at 27. My husband was working full time, i was working part time. It was struggle, especially since we had not only children to pay for but a mortgage, cars etc, but after a few years, we got the hang out it. We watched our money and didn't go out and get our kids every new toy, clothing or game that came out. Once my boys started school i started working a little more. Promotions came and we made more money.
I agree there will never be enough, but you'll learn to work with what you have. We now have 3 boys and a little girl on the way. I think our fear for the future is not having enough to send 4 kids to college, which we won't but we'll figure it out. Just need to work hard and stay on the ball. I'm, sure you'll be fine in the years to come.
Best wishes! =]

Answer 3

We struggled at first. It is hard when you have a new mortgage, car payment, medical bills, sitter expenses, etc... We always set aside the money we know we will need first. That way we don't waste any money that we really need. We try to put some in savings every month -- even if it is less than $100! We paid off the small bills first and went to the larger bills. We didn't make any major purchases until we had saved the money for it. We always try to live within our means, but try to set aside a few dollars for fun stuff. It may just be a trip to the movies or a good meal. We have been married for 10 years now. The only bill we have now is our mortgage so I can tell you from experience that it works. We don't drive the newest cars, but we do live in a nice house. We hope to purchase a new vehicle in the next few months with the money we have been saving.

Answer 4

sounds like the life of the single parent! lol sometimes money is really hard to come by. my suggestion would be to sit down with a budget. make sure you have everything covered for what you HAVE to have. food, bills, such. anything you don't have to have, you can do without, even if you don't want to.

also, check into insurance to help with the medical bills. check with your employer and see what plans are available. I found a plan through my employer for a HRA (health reimbursement account) for what I did actually have to spend. it covered $750 per calendar year, so if I had to go, or take my kids, I got a check for what I actually spent up to that $750 limit. it doesn't sound like much, but that was on top of the insurance. say a visit would cost $75 w/o insurance. my copay was $42, and then I got a check two weeks later for that $42. those checks I put into my savings account.

something else I did was ban new cars. I've never had a new car, and couldn't afford one being a single mom with two kids and all the other bills. if my car was taking a dump on me, I made it work until I got my income tax, which is sizable considering my tax bracket and kids, and paid cash. I've never had credit cards, even for emergencies, because it's cheaper in the long run to pay cash.

it does get better. even as a single, I got to where I was comfortable. there were times where I was like, "Hmmm... power bill or groceries. Gas to get to work or pullups?" with a budget, some good planning and practical ideas, it really does get better. now I don't have to worry about those things, and my situation hasn't changed. my thinking and processes have... good luck!

Answer 5

It does get better. I'm sure that you are making good money decisions, due to you being worried enough to put this questions up. Everyone young has financial problems, it's just a bit worse for people that have children, actually a lot worse. Mostlye because you want everything for your children that you can remember having as a child. Don't worry too much about it. Just keep making those good decisions. It gets better. As long as your kids are feed and are happy that's all that matters.

Answer 6

A future has to be built up. As you get older there should be a little money put away every month. To begin with it is hard unless your well off before you have kids. Maybe work on a better budget. I know from learning the hard way. Maybe your hubby and you should sit down with a financial consultant. They can go over a budget with you that you can live with more comfortably. If you try to buy and pay for everything you want right now you won't be able to make it. You will have to stick to your budget.

Answer 7

Based upon myself and a bunch of coworkers...
Women tend to have the dream of the "House with the white picket fence with kids running in the yard", but they want it now and aren't willing to save for it.

What's I'm saying is that people tend to live beyond their means and are not willing to put in the time to save up.

Things definitely became easier when the children went into school so the wife could work and pull in some extra cash.

The coworkers who were able to save up and hold off buying the house and having children for two or more years actually have it a lot easier in terms of finances. Too late for me though... although it is very much better than in the beginning.

Answer 8

nicely, i in many cases say in no way provide up yet you have already spent a lot of time and funds and that i will make sure why it is so complicated for you. i'm so sorry which you're dealing with this! i think of you may desire to evaluate adoption although. basically because you do no longer carry the toddler does no longer mean you wont have large bond with an observed toddler. you have large urge to be a mommy, do no longer basically provide up and contact it quits. the two proceed attempting, even maybe needless to say for a 365 days longer, who's acquainted with you could basically concieve. i think of all issues are available once you have confidence God. in case you do no longer desire to attend, then provide up on TTC and start up the adoption technique, yet do no longer provide up on ever being a mommy, because of the fact there is usually a fashion!

Answer 9

God yes! Only my boys are almost 9 years apart. My 2 year old has heart disease, so he was always in the hospital. My (then) husband was stationed out of the country so it was just me dealing with it all. I made too much to get asst. so I had to put myself on a very strict budget without letting my boys go without. It was hard but well worth it. Now we are doing ok. I had to sit down and prioritize everything, even my "personals". Just pray and everything will work out for you. Good luck!

Answer 10

we made sure we were financially stable before hand but yes it can be overwhelming....... budget your money!! seriously, sit down w/ sig other and make a budget and stick to it... you should be saving money as well but I know it can be hard.... I'm sorry but I can't assure you it gets better unless you make more money if you aren't now..