He moved from CT to CA thinking life would be great, this is the first time on his own, now he is having a hard time paying his rent, utilities and eating. He has 2 other roommates. He wants to move back home. He is 26.
2007-06-05 05:26:40 · 8 answers · asked by MOMMIE DEAREST 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Remember why you raised him. You raised him so he could fly.
Now he is flying.
Did you carry his bicycle around so he would never skin his knee? Did you allow him to drive knowing that car accidents happen frequently? Did you allow him to date knowing a woman would break his heart?
Now your boy is a man. And as such, it would not be easy. You never promised it would be. But you promised him at birth to look after him, love him unconditionally, and always do what is in his best interests.
Remember that when he wants to move back home. Help him figure out budgeting. Help him update his resume to look for a better job. Help him understand how he does not have enough money with 2 roommates. Even in Cali (which is very expensive), part of what makes up for it is that the salaries out there are just as high. And he is splitting the rent. I have a friend on the beach in San Diego and with 2 roommates, rent is $500 a month. Perhaps he needs to learn how to cook instead of eatting out.
You could offer to pay for a cooking class at the community college. You could send a giftcard for the grocery store. But everyone knows California is expensive. Perhaps he'll need to move to a cheaper place.
But now your boy is no more--he doesnt need his tears wiped, his cuts bandaged, his superfast running shoes tied that made him run superfast. He moved across country b/c he was a man and could handle things. He left the security of being close to home and having the ability to eat at mom's every Sunday for free. Now he must fly.
2007-06-05 05:36:45 · answer #1 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your son you would love to have him back home , but there is going to be rules that must be followed.
He will pay rent!!!!!
He will help with the yard work --mowing and trimming
He will clean up after himself on a daily basis.
He will do his own laundry.
He will furnish his own food and must prepare it himself and clean up the dishes afterwards. You are not his cook or maid.
There will be no partying at your home.
He will be in by 1:00 or the doors will be locked on weekends
He will be in by 12:00 during the week or the doors will be locked
He will have a job . He must keep a job.
If he does not want to live by these rules , then he will have to get his own place. He is an adult now and he must take the responsiblity of being an adult.
Tuff love is hard. but you can not allow him to use you so he can party and have fun. Life is hard and he is going to have to learn that you must work and live by rules. Have him sign a paper with all your demands and rules so when he breaks the rules you have proof on what you agreed too. Good luck and God Bless
2007-06-05 05:42:35 · answer #2 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answer is no in order for him to survive in the real world you have to let him grow up. Tell him he can come back to CT but he can not live with you or if you do let him there should be some strict rules and he should have a deadline. 26 is kinda to old to be living at home. My uncle lived with my grandmother until she died and now he does not know how to take care of himself. Do you want your son to be a user?
2007-06-05 05:32:15 · answer #3 · answered by karamelchem_1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard lesson, but tough love is in order. Those 'two letters' can be harder than those 'three words'.
If you want him to stay away, keep sending him money. If he does move back, you should charge him room and board. Keep in mind eventually he could marry and your grandchildren will also be in California.
2007-06-05 05:35:26 · answer #4 · answered by Doug G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to just say no. Don't make excuses just tell him that he is a grown man and he needs to learn to deal with this sort of stuff. I have seen this happen with my parents and my brother and he now walks all over them. For your sanity you should stand up for yourself and say no. He might be angry but he will learn to stand on his own as well and that is what parents really want for their children.
2007-06-09 02:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by cogal2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry son i cant afford to provide for you and my self at the same time it was your choice to move out there now what you can do is move back home and then ill help you out.
2007-06-05 05:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say pray about it and see what God has in store for the situation.
2007-06-05 05:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just say it
2007-06-09 05:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by spanked_and_diapered 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋