am i wrong? i haven't spoken to my grandma in two years because everytime after i speak to her......?

Question

she will go bk and tell people everything that i told her. i don't tell her anything too personal, but some stuff isn't necessary for her to tell other ppl. i told her that I was looking around in an area and she went and told everyone that my husband and i WERE buying a house, even tho that wasn't the case. she gave me a hard time because I don't call her for mother's day even tho she is only my grandmother. I don't wish anyone happy mother's day because I didn't even grow up with my mother. she tries to pry into more personal areas in my life such as my marriage and how many times I call my best friend and speak to her and what I speak to her about. Years ago, I briefly lived with my grandma and walked in the kitchen to hear her and her sisters talking about me. that really hurt my feelings. the times when I have called her she starts sqealing on the phone and say praise the lord!! am i wrong for not wanting to speak to her?

Answer 1

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I haven't spoken to my grandma in like 7 years since my grandfather passed. She takes things out of context, says i say things that i didn't etc. So not talking with her is fine if she is going to be that way. She may be your gma but she isn't your partner in life. Send her a card once a year and that is that. I don't mean to sound mean but if she is putting you through difficulties you don't need, then why bother? Right? move on.

Answer 2

You didn't say how old your grandmother is but have you considered that maybe the reason she repeats what you tell her is because it makes her feel important? Maybe the other people she tells things to also tells her things that their grandchildren have done and she want to feel as important and proud as they are? SHE is the one that would have to explain why you didn't buy the house she told others you were buying. Although you may have been asked about it all you HAD to say was "No, we aren't buying here, there must be some mistake" if the issue was pressed on tell them to take it up with the one they heard it from.
What else does she have to do all day, week and month but wait for you to call? Does she work? Does she belong to any clubs? Has she got a lot of friends? Or does she watch TV most of the time? I am sure at this point in your age and life it is an annoyance but when you get to be her age, maybe you will wish you had done things different so things would be different for you. I believe in Karma, what goes around comes around.

If you were to get a call and (God forbid) they told you she were gone, would all this be worth it? Or would you want another day to call her and tell her you love her?

Answer 3

When I have a situation like this, I go back and read this over and over until I calm down. It usually works. I hope it helps you, I know from experience how hard it is what you are going though and my prayers are with you. God Bless


What Do You See, Nurse?
NOTE: This poem was reportedly written by a woman who died in the geriatric ward of Ashludie Hospital near Dundee, Scotland. It was found among her possessions and so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. Though it was addressed to the nurses who surrounded the woman in her last days, it cries for recognition of a common humanity...it could have been written to all of us.

What do you see, nurse... what do you see?
Are you thinking - when you look at me:
"A crabbed old woman, not very wise;
Uncertain of habit with far-away eyes,

Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice 'I do wish you'd try.'"

Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe;

Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse. You're not looking at me!

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still.
As I move at your bidding, eat at your will:

- I'm a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters who love one another;
- A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon a love she'll meet;

- A bride at twenty, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
- At twenty-five now I have young of my own
Who need me to build a secure, happy home.
- A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast.
Bound together with ties that should last.

- At forty, my young sons have grown up and gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn;
- At fifty once more babies play 'round my knee
Again we know children, my loved ones and me...

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead.
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years
and the love that I've known.

I'm an old woman now, and nature is cruel.
'Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigor depart.
There is a stone where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now again my bittered heart swells;
I remember the joys, I remember the pain
and I'm loving and living life over again;

I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last;
So open your eyes, nurse, open and see...
not a crabbed old woman.
Look closer... see me!

Of course someone wrote an answer and here is the link to it.
http://www.empowerthespirit.com/articles/whatsee.htm

Answer 4

First you stated at grandmas he receives bottle contained in direction of the night then you definately say he does not prefer help getting returned to sleep at grandmas. So of direction he does not prefer help he has a bottle. sounds like going to grandmas isn't a great thought if she isn't listening to your instructions on your infant.

Answer 5

No you are not wrong. You can choose who to talk to and not to. I recently made the same decision with my biological father who Wanted to visit me WHEN I just had a baby. He wanted me to drive 2 hours to get him at the airport with 3 kids in the car, he wanted to stay in my house that doesn't even have extra floor room, and he wanted to drive my car that was a gift from my husbands parents and its the only thing of value I have besides my house. I finally made the decision I don't owe him anything. He just happens to be family but I had a wonderful stepfather who loved me and raised me as his own. I hope this makes sense and helps you to see that If you have a problem with someone and they are just making your life more stressful then cut them out of it and enjoy your life. You aren't the only person in the world who has made a decision like this and it will make you feel bad at first but then you will feel a huge weight off your shoulders. I even changed my phone numbers. Good luck to you. I hope things work out.

Answer 6

I don't think that you are necessarily wrong. There are lots of people that we just don't get along with - she just happens to be family. I'm not sure if you've tried talking to her about this behavior, but you could say, "When you repeat things that I've said to other people, I feel betrayed b/c I never meant to share those things with anyone else." Putting it that way might make her feel *special* that there are some things about you that only she knows.

Answer 7

yes your wrong, get over it. when you grow up you will realize that people are set in their ways and you are the one who needs to adapt so YOU can be happy. how do you do this? you recognize the bad qualities in a person and avoid it. for example: don't tell your grandmother anything that you don't want her to pass on. you can still talk to her about many other things. then you use her to pass on info that you do want everyone to know, but don't want to spend the time calling everyone. this type of person can be very useful if you think about it. you can also use her to mediate between you and anyone else in the family that you might not get along with, want to tell them, but don't want to approach.

by you choosing not to speak to her its like saying i don't want to associate with anyone who is not like i want them to be. that is selfish and you will never be happy with anyone who is not what you think is "proper".

Answer 8

As rule of thumb you shouldn't say anything to anyone that you don't want known. You should just not relay any personal information that you don't want her to tell. Some people are just like that. They can't keep their mouths shut and they can't keep their noses out of your business. If you love them, you just overlook it.