My husband and I have reconsiled about 9months ago. He was unemployed and still is. The agreement was that he would take the kids to school, ect. and get a part time jog to make ends meet. Well, I am sick and tired of him not working and seriously, the bare min, gets done around the house.
After a big fallout yesterday, he turned it around and said he was wating for a side job in Aug. But still was not clear as to what he is going to do till then. He made the comment that I made enough money and it would be nice if I gave him some funds to go and have some quality time with kids that it would make him feel more of a man.
He said that he wants me to make a budget so he can see the "big piichure".I told him I would but honestly, I am not confortable with it. I feel that I should tell him that once he gets a job and gives me all his money, then we can "share our money" and work out budgets.
Do you think I should share my finances with him? Whats your op.on this?
2007-06-05 04:48:20 · 10 answers · asked by Flaca 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Geez, if you're having sex you're sharing something much more valuable than this knowledge.
First, if you cannot talk about money, you should not be back together.
Second, if it makes you feel more comfortable, share the details of where money is spent but not your income and savings. Tell him where he fits in...and that would be that when he is contributing to the income stream he can have a say in the outgoing stream.
Third, if he cannot get a part-time job to help out, he's just lazy.
Fourth, and you probably won't say it, if he wants money to play with his kids to feel like a man, suggest an alternative: get a job. Seriously, getting a job and accomplishing something would actually do something for the self-esteem.
Lastly, don't play this game much longer. What you said so far is not promising.
2007-06-05 05:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if the situation was turned around, and you were a guy, and he was a gal - the responses would be alot different.
The agreement you made - that he would take the kids to school, and get a part time job - was that your idea, or his?
'Waiting' for a side job in August is pathetic. Every pizza joint in America is looking for insiders and drivers. Get a job at McDonalds. $5/hour x 20 a week is $400 your bringing home. That's at minimum wage. If he wanted to get a job he would - and if he tells you differently, he's lying.
Quality time with the kids makes him feel more like a man? Is he going to use the money to buy a strap on? Give me a break.
I think you might be pulling a bit of a power struggle with him on the money issue - you make it, you determine where it goes, etc. Not condusive to a good relationship.
If you have reasons for it (he blows it, buys drugs/porn/etc) then I'd lock the ATM card way the heck away from him.
But it sounds like your being taken advantage of. My husband came home from active duty, and got a job part time delivering pizza's til he could find something better. He did it b/c there were NO other options.
GOod luck.
2007-06-05 05:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by Dee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you two should decide who will pay what, when he gets a job, and then decide how much money you will put aside for schooling of kids, and some bad times, that I hope wont come. But you should always be prepared.
It's best to leave equal parts in the combined account, and make sure he doesn't spend then on himself.
The rest, you should put in your own personal account. So that way you both will be happy, or should be happy with the solution.
2007-06-05 05:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by Accalia R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I share our finances but we are both working. You would know your husband better than anyone else and if you dont feel comfortable with his suggestions, yuo should go with you gut feeling. The fact that he is still unemployed is a question mark? Is just plain lazy and intend to live off you?? You mentioned that he hardly gets anything done around the house so what is he doing at home? Just go with you gut feeling. I have a bad feeling about him.
2007-06-05 04:58:16 · answer #4 · answered by SG GAL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Big picture, that is simple, he needs to get a job. If you make 200x and he makes 0, there is no room for discussion. If he makes 50x throughout the year at random unexpected occassions, then he needs to understand that if he made a budget, how would he pay for the months with 0x?
Your money is better in your hands only, his money in his, till he is straight for a while, then you can both create a joint pot for his contribution and yours equally to go towards food, utilities and the kids. Only the joint is up for discussion. Any questions.. let me know
2007-06-05 04:59:53 · answer #5 · answered by how2playmen_dot_com 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...I would not share my finances with him. You did not say why you two were separated but as much as I hate to say it are you sure that he did not want to get back together because of being unemployeed? I feel that if you hand him money that he will not even bother getting a job. I feel that he is wanting to live off of you. Tell him what you said that you have been thinking of telling him. Maybe that will help him see that you are going to stand your ground on this.
2007-06-05 06:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by susie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you start giving him money, he'll have zero incentive to get himself together and show some responsibility.
A side job in August? It's just now June-- he'll just suck your finances dry until then...if there even is a "then".
There are plenty of jobs to be had-- he could even do day labor for cash.
To me, it sounds like he's just lazy and is using unemployment as a crutch for you to feel sorry for him.
2007-06-05 04:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by Bogart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i in my opinion use an Excel spreadsheet. Sounds loopy, yet once you look at it like a undemanding income assertion, it incredibly is incredibly basic and is sensible. Take your internet income on the precise. Subtract all month-to-month costs, and you'll be left with optimistically a helpful. I additionally shop my examine register in Excel. it incredibly is a great thank you to look at what i've got spent my funds on. Debit enjoying cards are handy, yet is additionally risky!
2017-01-10 14:21:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely Not!!!!
Sounds to me like you are his gravy train and he is going to ride this one to end.
2007-06-05 05:57:40 · answer #9 · answered by jambofan1226 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think you should do that.
He's trying to control you.
2007-06-05 04:52:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋