2007-06-05 04:27:36 · 64 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hmm thanks for the answers.. (cept for some) no we're not kids and the problems not cos she's not turned on or lubed etc .. the problem is it hurts her if I push, but I can't get in if I don't .. which is rather frustrating for both of us ..
2007-06-06 05:58:41 · update #1
try fingering her first.
2007-06-05 04:30:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋
With a virgin you have to take it VERY slowly. You say you're using lube and she's turned on, both of which are good. Try stretching her with your fingers first, taking everything slowly and gently. If she says it hurts, stop pushing, but don't your fingers or yourself out, just stay there and kiss and caress her until she relaxes enough that she no longer hurts. Then you can push a bit more. Make sure you respect her boundaries, though. If she says enough is enough then stop. It make take a few times taking it slowly before you can get all the way in.
Alternately, you can just go in one quick push. It'll hurt her a lot but once it's over, it shouldn't ever hurt her too badly.
I'd suggest asking her which she'd like. The first way is less painful but painful for longer whereas the second is extremely painful but the pain will only last for a short while.
Good luck.
2007-06-12 20:04:25 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a woman and I don't agree with those women who said "Respect her" - I think you DO respect her and that's not the problem!
It's purely physical - I had it too. I had a lovely gentle boyfriend like you but I gave up trying to have ic with him - it was just too frustrating. I had to get together with a guy who was willing to push really hard to the point that it really hurt.
Turned out he was a bastard, but in retrospect I needed someone I didn't love to get the job done. I HOPE this is not the case with you and your girl!
And to those fanatics who keep insisting you should get married - How on earth is that going to make any difference!!? You'll still have the same problem!
2007-06-13 03:13:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I am surprised that people ask such personal questions on here- at least we don't know you personally.
Well for starters I had the same problem, and the best thing to do at first (For the first couple of months) is find different angles, sometimes its the angle that makes it hurt the most, and TAKE YOUR TIME. Go slowly at first until it is in and feels comfortable for your girl. Once it is in try not to take it out. Once it is out the air will have contact with her privates and dry it out and it will be even harder for you to get it back in.
Just remember to take it slow for a while until she is use to your object...you know. Be paitent because if you are not she could get stressed and sad and that will cause her to tense up EVERYWHERE.
Also you could also try and start out with your fingers and then work your way to intercourse, considering your fingers are much smaller this will prepare her privates for what is to come- it will also cause more wetness....so yeah.
Good luck and remember this happens to a lot of people- there is noting you can do to make it better other than to take it slow and be paitent with her body.
2007-06-10 10:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by E>SummerLove<3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Making love to a virgin is something rare (these days). If you or her are nervous,then it will take a while to penetrate. Set a relaxing mood (soft music,candlelight,dinner) No alcohol,drugs,or "weed". This blows everything (even erections). Take your time with kissing and caressing. Don't rush her,or make her fell that sex is all you want. (Of course,don't forget to use a Condom--even a virgin can get pregnant on the first time). Use K-Y Jelly. It's clean. Spread a small amount over the Penis,and at the opening of her vagina. Take your time,and insert slowly. She will fell some discomfort at first,but reassure her,that you will not hurt her. If she tells you to stop----THEN STOP!.
If penetration goes well,then take it easy. This is her first time. Don't let her fell uncomfortable,and everything should go well.
2007-06-05 04:43:30 · answer #5 · answered by Squeakers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, firstly you have to check that she isn't in a spasm which is painful for her. She should have this checked by the GP who can offer her practical help. Also, I think its best you avoid penetrative sex for a while as it could be compounding the problem e.g. anxiety. If she aint relaxed, she will be tight as a cats behind and theres no way you would get in as she is a virgin and hasn't had kids! Sorry for being so crude but I couldn't think of a more polite way.
2007-06-09 10:01:17 · answer #6 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's natural that it hurts for the first time. Try to use some lubricants... but unfortunately she'll have to handle the pain, because there is nothing else she can do... Or she'll be a virgin forever. It will hurt for the first time and maybe even some time after, but it will get better.
Good luck to you both.
2007-06-12 23:23:52 · answer #7 · answered by Lida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say to her "relax your muscles darling"(its that whats stopping you getting in).
Like some of the others have said,go slowly,as it takes time to
adjust to your size,and yes it hurts a man too,so you have to think of you both,and presuming that she,s wet as well already it will be OK.
It will take you about 1/2 to 1hr. to be fully inside,and then when your inside you,l have to go gently with her still.
Keep telling her to relax whilst your slowly pushing yourself in,and control yourself also,as there is nothing worse for a woman when your inside on the 1st stroke and cumming,so think of her as well ,as she wants to orgasm just like you.
So look after her as a virgin today is a rarity.
Hope this helps
2007-06-11 12:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by First CHARLIE 7290 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first time is almost always painful for the girl. Try giving her extra lube.
2007-06-13 04:22:33 · answer #9 · answered by Music lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about respect her decision and love her anyway? If you really want to be with her ,Marry her first!! Then she will be willing to give herself to you totally. If none of these options sound good to you,Then move on so she can find a real man to love. One who is committed to her and not just worrying about his own selfish needs. Are you starting to understand?
If you love her and you want a full relationship,Then it can't all be just about you. Learn to treat her as an equal and not as just a sex object, You still have a lot of growing up to do yourself. You might think your ready for this,But your not!!
What if she gets pregnant? Are you ready to take the responsibility for raising a family? Do you have a job that will be able to support them? Will you always be there for them?
We are talking about her future as well as yours here!! Are you ready to commit to them fully? You are on the verge of a life changing decision here. Choose wisely!!
2007-06-05 04:48:00 · answer #10 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried her being on top so she has the control...if it is her who is hurting, giving her control might make the situation better...
Don't rush it, take your time, it will happen if you both want it to..
Use lots of lube, as well as it does help...
2007-06-11 22:43:52 · answer #11 · answered by Elaine N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋