There is this guy who i've known since college, he has a GF for 7 years now. A month ago we were out together and ended up making out, but not having sex. Since then there has been a series of emails and texts coming mostly from him about his emotions to me and how is confused and unsure what the right decision is for him. She is a very nice, sweet and loving girl- and i think that heis afraid of hurting her but also of their mutual friends. However all of them think that he is clearly not into her since he hasn't even popped the question yet. They just got back from a trip and b4 they left he told me that he would make his mind up about the relationship. The minute he gets back he texts me and says that he couldn't stop thinking about me, even if he wanted to- he just can't. Then we unfortunately made out again later on. Now- I am so confused. I know he doesn't seem like ingenuine, but how long does it take to end a 7 year relationship? And how long should I give him time if any?
2007-06-05 04:22:58 · 18 answers · asked by InloveMO 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him an ultimatum that if he wants you in his life, he needs to come clean about you to her. He needs to break off from her. If he seems edgy about it or seems to be dodging it then he is just having some fun fooling around with two women at the same time. Dump him if he dodges you on this one.
2007-06-05 04:28:45 · answer #1 · answered by Ash 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've been in similar situations. Let me just say something, most men will look for something new. That doesnt mean they dont still want to be with their significant other.
If I were you , I would stop all the random make out sessions. It doesn't matter how much you like the guy, he obviously doesnt like you enough to call you his official girlfriend and not "the other one"
Save yourself from a heartache, I am sure there are plenty of single guys you could date. Let him know that you'll go on with your life and not wait on him.
It is hard to get into a relationship that was not started the right way. I mean cheating, leaving a girlfriend, etc. What makes you think it wont happen to you later. Use your intelligence and leave the guy alone.
If he is not in love with his girlfriend anymore , dont let him use you as an excuse to break up with her.
2007-06-05 04:31:07 · answer #2 · answered by Samantha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but if this guy wanted to break off his relationship with his g/f he would have long ago.........If he is so interested and cant stop thinking about YOU than why is he still with her?......I don't understand how you can go out with a guy that is involved with someone and start making out....Did you feel any quilt of what you have done?......Guys these days play alot of head games....not all of them there are some nice single men out there that don't do this......Don't expect much to change.....he will just be dragging you down ...where you only have him.....and he will have both you and the girlfriend.....I wouldn't give him any time cause he already letting you know he is not faithful....so even if he dumps girlfriend......the same thing could happen to you as well
2007-06-05 04:44:14 · answer #3 · answered by T B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should give him some space, even if it makes you feel anxious and you miss him. I'd tell him that you are giving him a week or two to figure out his life, and that if he decides to be with you than you will be here for him at that time. Don't count on it though
It sounds like he is really confused - most likely he loves her and doesn't want to leave, but is perhaps bored with her. Its been my experience that in long, involved relationships like that someone is not just going to back out quickly. Does he live with her - if he does then don't expect him to leave her anytime soon. I don't think this will be a quick break up from the sound of it.
Its never a good idea to get involved with someone who is already in a relationship. If he doesn't make up his mind than I would move on!
2007-06-05 04:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to put yourself in his girlfriend's shoes. Would you want to be her right now? Do you think that it is fair of you to make out with her boyfriend behind her back? Would you want this to happen to you? BACK OFF. If he doesn't want to be with her anymore then he should make the decision without any outside influence. He has been with this person for seven years. Call me crazy, but a man just doesn't spend that long with someone if he doesn't actually care about them. His girlfriend may really love him. It will hurt her so much more if he leaves her for another woman. Have a heart! What kind of a beginning to a relationship can you possibly have with this man if it begins with the heart break of another woman? Get yourself out of that picture. That guy is not available until he breaks up with his girlfriend. Leave him alone. Give him time to decide what he really wants to do.
2007-06-05 04:35:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was going to end the relationship, he would have already. The fact that he went ahead and went on this trip with her should have told you that. He likes knowing he can have his cake and eat it too. He can do what he wants with you knowing he can always go her to her and do the same thing. Chances are he is telling both of you the same thing in terms of his feelings. He wants you to think he will leave her so you will stay around. At the same time he tells her that there is no other woman for him and he will always love her. Is this the kind of guy you really want to be with? Say you do eventually get him. Would you want him to do to you what he is doing to her? I say you and the girlfriend are both better off with a different man. This one is just a player and will hurt you both.
2007-06-05 04:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by my_own_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a dangerous position to be in. It's going to take a long time for a seven year relationship to break-up. Probably alot of back and forth before they end it for sure. Your making it easier for him to break-up because it's easier to leave when there is someone else waiting in the wings. As hard as it will be for you. I'd step back and tell him to figure out whether or not he is ready to break up with her and move on. When he does that and not before..then tell him to give you a call.
2007-06-05 04:44:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step back and give him space to make the decision for himself. Dont force his hand one way or the other. Do not continue the inappropriate emails/texts/calls. I say this b/c if you 2 do end up together then you dont want to be supscious of him b/c of the way you 2 got together. Dont break up a realtionship. if its meant to end it will then you two can be together and start correctly. In short, Karma is a B! proceed with caution...
2007-06-05 04:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by flyy412girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl....you need to run away!!! Even if he did end this relationship...don't you think that it would take lots of time for him to process a 7 year relationship??? Seriously, you don't want to deal with that do you??? Also, it sounds like he wants an excuse to leave her but doesn't want to be alone!! otherwise, he would have left already!! He just wants to make sure that he has someone before he does end it with her...that way he isn't alone!!! You deserve better & so does she!!! He can go to H#ll!!! He's a cheater ..do you want that for a boyfriend??
2007-06-05 04:28:03 · answer #9 · answered by Siren_Cin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a 7 year relatioship is not going to end easy at all. When they break up thery might still stay in contact and they may go back to each other when they are feeling vulnerable 4 a min. So you in a situation!!! Give him a while bout a month or so ..... its wrong for him to keep leading her on!!! The more he strings her along the more its going to hert her and when she finds out what you think she will do???? I hope she doesnt go crazy!!! ... GOOD Luck..... but b care ful upon what you do!!!
2007-06-05 04:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by pj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is trying unsuccessfully to get into your pants so to speak. He has 7 yrs with this woman and you believe he will end a realtionship for you. You are a fool to keep making out with him. He is hoping you will cave and he can poke his thing in you. .
Alll he want to do with you is screw or he would have asked you on a date and you would have went out together like a couple. He is waiting hoping you will cave in and start having sex with him.
Forget him. He is being a joke. He is being all hot and lusty after you, but does not treat you like a lady. E mails and text messages are just fun and games on his part.
2007-06-05 04:31:35 · answer #11 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋