How do I politely request monetary gifts for my wedding?

Question

My Fiance and I are getting married in November. He has a fully furnished house we will be living in. We do not need any kitchen utensils and electronics or any furniture. To be quite honest we need money for our honeymoon and the wedding. How should I convey this? Do I write a letter and include it in the invites? If so, what should I say? Please Help! Open to any suggestions! Thanks.

Most of you are giving the same suggestion and I appreciate it. I am asking for advice, please remain tactful and polite. You are giving me suggestions on being polite while some of you are rude. Perhaps, you should take your own advice. There are ways to say things without being crass. I am asking for help, because I don't know. I am not asking for a public reprimand. Thank you.

Answer 1

As people have said (not always tactfully), the best thing you can do is simply spread the word through discreetly relatives and possibly the wedding party. You should not put anything about money, or any kind of gift, on or with the invitations. A lot of couples are asking for gifts other than the standard home essentialys these days and there's nothing wrong with prefering money to put toward your honeymoon. I think the fact that you have a specific purpose in mind for the money will help. "They'd really like a donation towards a nice honeymoon" sounds a lot better than "they'd reall just like money". Still, keep in mind that not everyone may go along with your wishes. Be appreciative of all the gifts you recieve and keep in mind that the real gift is each person's presence at your wedding.

Answer 2

well its impossible to do that politely....its just plain rude. you can't dictate what people do with their hard-earned time and money. I understand your situation but that doesn't make what you would be doing any better. The best thing I could tell you is just don't register and when people ask what you want (and believe me they will, just got married 2 months ago) just tell them politely that you would prefer gift cards or money if they don't mind.

PLEASE don't put that on your invites, that would be even ruder. The wedding invite is to ask people to join in the celebration of your union, not to solicit gifts, which is what mention gifts on the invite does....it makes you look like you expect people to bring you something. While you are gonna get gifts, thats a given, its a nice perk of getting married, not a right, and not something to be expected. perhaps if you need help with the wedding expenses, you should scale it back some so its not such a burden? Or consider taking a smaller weekend honeymoon somewhere now and a bigger one later once the checkbook is built back up after all the wedding expenses...thats what we have done and its working out fine without causing much debt!

Long story short, if you prefer money, thats fine, but don't put it in writing, use word of mouth...its the only halfway tactful way to go in this situation. Good luck with everything and congrats!

Answer 3

NO!!!!!! You never, never never put anything in the invitations that mentions a registry, gift giving, etc. It is all very tacky. There is absolutely no way to ask for money tactfully. It's a huge huge no-no. A gift is not a requirement, and you should never tell people to give you a monetary gift. You just need to be thankful for any gifts that you do receive, and perhaps set up a simple registry at Target for odds-n-ends that might be handy. Then if someone asks where you are registered, you can tell them. I am registering at Target for some simple things like sheets and towels. My towels are starting to show signs of wear, so I should get new ones anyways. And I could use an aditional set of sheets.

Err on the side of grace and tact. Do NOT tell people to give you money. Most people will probably give a card with money without you telling them to do so.

Answer 4

You cannot say that. It is considered rude and uncouth to put anything inside your invitation detailing where you are registered even, much less specific gifts. The best thing you can do is tell your parents and your entire wedding party. Then when someone asks, those people can tell them you would like money.

I am not sure if this is tacky or not, but you could have a money tree shower. Everyone pins money to a tree (like a tabletop Christmas tree without decorations) and then no gifts are required.

I would join www.theknot.com. It is free and every etiquette question you could ever imagine will be on that site.'

Good luck and congratulations!

Answer 5

This question is asked on here constantly. The truth is, you do not solicit gifts of any kind on your invitations. The purpose of an invitation is to extend your wish to have the person share your day with you, not to ask for presents. The truth is, most people will give you money, but some will give a tangible gift no matter what. I personally always give a gift-cash is spent, and there's nothing left of it but a memory. I'd rather give something for entertaining or whatever is suited to the couple, so when they use it, they think of their wedding day. If I got an invitation asking for cash, I'd be offended and still would not give cash. Sorry.

Answer 6

There isn't a polite way to ask for money. I have been to weddings and I just gave because I knew that they didn't really need much.
Also, registries are usually given out when shower invitations are distributed. Make sure the person doing your registry has a list of all the people invited to the wedding that way you can catch everyone.
Most people who know you and your fiancee know your situation and will more than likely give you money or giftcards for things that you could use at a later date (ie. dinner, movies, entertainment).
I am infamous for making up gift baskets of misc. things that can be used by both.
If all else falls, create a registry and see what return rules are like for the store you have the registry. If they give you cash for unwanted items or store credit.
If all else falls, invite lots of old folks, they like to give out cash, lol *smiles*.

Good luck and Congrats!!

Answer 7

You don't say it, it is incredably rude for the bride or groom to include a request for gifts of any type in the invitation or in a mailing; this is why you don't usually see registry information printed on invitations either. Tell your parents and wedding parties your wishes and let it spread through word of mouth. Guests will contact them to find out where you are registered and they can then say "they are registered at x but are also saving money to go towards y".

Most people give money anyways so you don't have to worry too much. Those that are going to give material goods will do it whether or not you prefer cash so its best to come up with at least a small registry.

Answer 8

First of all, you don't want to ask for money because that makes you sound rude. For our wedding we received mostly money with a few personal gifts. We didn't do a registry so that helped. I would suggest just not doing a registry. If family asks what kind of items you need tell them that you would prefer money to use for the honeymoon. They can convey this message in a more polite way just by spreading it around for you.

Good luck.

Answer 9

I do not think there is a polite way to ask for money for a wedding gift, if it comes from the couple.

If you have everything you need, you could suggest that guests make charitible donations to your favorite cause in honor of your wedding.

But if it is money you desire, then your bridal party and groomsmen should be the ones telling your guests of your wishes WHEN THEY ASK! It would be tacky for them to go out and actively contact your guests to INFORM your them of your prefrence for money as a gift.

Answer 10

It is rude to request gifts.

It is EXTRA RUDE to request money gifts.

Your invitations should not contain any mention of gifts, or gift preferences, whatsoever.

There is NO polite way to do what you're saying. No matter how politely you try to say it, is is still one of the rudest things you possibly could do. Please, just don't.

Sit back and let people gift you with whatever they choose. That is the only polite route.

It is also rude to "register for money" in any form, register for honeymooons (same thing), register for gift cards (same thing again), or register for money to be given to charity (it's improper). You can register for physical items, or nothing at all.