My bf & I av been seeing eachother for 8 Mnts now,got intimate 4 monts after and we've been good since then.he's a man's man.and I love him to pcs,I know i want to spend the rest of my life with him.he's very gentle with me,never holds a grudge,he's not verbally or emoitionally abusive,he's very objective,he says he's sorry when he's wrong&accepts when his flaws are pointed out,he corrects me in private and he so sweet[trys to sing to me],though he gets insensitive sometimes,it's not on purpose.tells me he'd never hurt me,luvs a lot of things about me.He gets verbally unxpressive with his emotions and he shuts me out and that hurts he doesn't no this.he looks at me & i know he cares.but he's nevr told me 'HE LOVES ME' & i wonder why,he has not doubt about the way i feel about him but why won't he just tell me ?
2> In all of 6mnts we made love 12 times do you think thats ok,is his libido [ok,average,high or low] I'll be 26&he'll be 30 both of us this year.Finally do you think we'r ok?
2007-06-05 01:56:33 · 12 answers · asked by beautyliz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when i say he's verbally unexpressive emotionally,i mean he rarely talks about matters of the heart,how he really feels deep down.Like he can't be totally vulnerable with me.I understand to an extend and i give him time to come around and give him space to get himself together,which he does,i try not to be clingy with him.and never act totally 'available' afterall he's the only one i Love,i don't have another and God forbid that i cheat on him !.
He wants to be intimate everytime he's with me,yeah we might have times when i can't,he used to understand but i guess cause of the long intervals btween when we do get intimate and not,he always wants to be intimate when he gets to be with me eventually.I love him & like to be intimate with him but i'd been abused as a young girl [havent told him yet] he's technically my 1st and i'm almost 26yrs old while he's almost 30& i thought 12 times in 6 months was almost too much.But i guess i was wrong he's been patient with me.I hp we'll be ok.
2007-06-06 01:35:31 · update #1
Honey, you need to ask your man these questions. Be honest with him, tell him it hurts when he's emotionally closed to you. Have you told him that you love him?
If you do tell him, you can't just expect him to repeat the words to you, I suspect that's not what you want. Be patient, sometimes men (and women too) can get so bruised in past relationships, they wait till they know for sure, because they don't want to mis-use those three words.
Sexually... he may be not making love with you all that often, because he's being careful of his feelings, too. I'm certain that once you get past this emotional hurdle, when he can admit that he is in love with you he'll want to make love with you, more.
You do have to be patient though. Maybe, don't push the lovemaking until he has gotten to a place where he can admit that he loves you.
As for whether he'll marry you... I really think you should wait to think about that, till after he can say the words, "I love you". If he can't get those three words out, I don't think he's about to propose yet!
2007-06-05 02:06:11 · answer #1 · answered by Crizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eight months is not a very long time to really know someone. Maybe he is trying to figure out how he feels. Maybe he has other things that consume his mind (work? financial worries? an ex?) What do you mean by verbally unexpressive with his emotions? Some men need time alone. Maybe he is not shutting you out, but he is having deep thoughts at that time. Be comfortable with NOT talking and being together. As far as his libido, everybody is different. The question is: is it enough for you? Are you trying to find love in sex and it is a way for you to hold on to him? Don't make him your whole life. Have interests outside of him. That makes you more interesting to him. Don't be too predictable or available. That doesn't mean you cheat on him. Just have more dimensions to your personality. Give it a bit more time and try the things I mentioned. If that doesn't work, ASK him why he doesn't want to have sex more. ( I do mean ASK, not whine or throw a tantrum, etc.) Are you thoughtful, do you do small things to please him such as cook him dinner, leave him a note every now and then, buy a couple of tickets to a show or a sporting event that he would love to go to...or do you wait for him to do everything? Are you clingy or do you give him space? Do you call him all the time or text him without waiting for him to call or text? Don't be too available even at this point in the relationship.
2007-06-05 02:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by Media Lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone in long-term relationships experiences these ups and downs. I am not sure why he cannot express his feelings, but for sure some guys are that way. You have to decide if that is ok or if you want to work on it and try to get him to relax and feel comfortable about it. However, one thing that you commonly see is women trying to mold men into something else, so I urge caution on this.
As far as his libido...the amount of sex can be all over the board. When my wife and I got together, we made love 12 times a week at first, and over time....that changes.
2007-06-05 02:06:13 · answer #3 · answered by Wolfithius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men find it difficult to say 'i love you' but he should be getting around to it by now. 12 times in 6 months sounds very infrequent to me, I would want to be intimate everytime i see them, but everyone is different. What does he say if you tell him you love him? Is sex frequent enough for you?
2007-06-05 02:02:28 · answer #4 · answered by jonathan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow sweetheart, that is a long story. Now i always wonder why women makes things hard? he might loves you but don't feel like necessary to say it. and if you want him to say just ask him do you love me? if he feels unconfortable, just move on up to next one. and if you like the sex well stay with him until u get urself a better one.
2007-06-05 02:02:49 · answer #5 · answered by hutdast 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is a real lack of intimacy going on there... Only 12 times in six months? You should really talk to him about that, if he is to ashamed to talk to you about it encourage him to go see a doctor.
2007-06-05 02:01:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a good start on the relationship.
Do not pressure him to say "I love you" ...if he does, he will say it in his own time.
As far as your sex life...as long as you are both happy with it ... then what does it matter what anyone else thinks?
Take your time...enjoy what you have...the future will take care of itself.
be cool...
2007-06-05 02:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only 12 times in 6 months?? something is going too slow here..lol
2007-06-05 02:03:16 · answer #8 · answered by wongfiehung2003 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You slept with a man who's never even told you that he loves you? I'd say that was a mistake.
2007-06-05 02:01:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any relationship is perfect. If you are that happy with him and he treats you so well, I would consider myself one of the lucky ones and hold on to him tight.
2007-06-05 01:59:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋