He doesnt want to spend time with me (mom) like he use to he always want to go over friends house or spend the night with cousins and when he is home he shuts his door to his room and is not very talkable like he use to be. He also has started a habit of talking back or has to have the last word. Does he realize that Im his mother . Is this normal is this a phase or am I being too protective. He is an only child. His dad want to take him to Six Flags and I terrified for him to go without me. He prefers his friends than me now he will be starting the fifth grade in the fall. My only child and help me . Is this normal?
2007-06-05 01:56:21 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Your son is going through a stage where he is making his first attempts at establishing his identity seperate from his parents. While it is normal and healthy, it is also a difficult time - for everyone! Try approaching him on some of his terms (i.e. knock before going into his room, give him privacy in the bathroom, allow him to go to friends homes). Meanwhile, assure him that he is still a part of the family. Tell him that you need to feel like he loves you - and let him choose how he will express that love. It may not be the same way he did when he was younger, but he will find a way to let you know he loves you.
If you are used to setting rules or making decisions about your son in a authoritarian manner (i.e. "no, you cannot go to your friend's house. No discussion") sort of way, now would be a good time to alter that approach. You still set the rules, but it is important for him to understand WHY the rules are the way they are. Also, if there is room for negotiation of the rules (i.e. you cannot have a sleep over at friend's house, but you can go and play there for a few hours), then allow him some room to negotiate. He is not fighting with you, he is just trying to tell you that he sees things differently and would like you to see things the way he does. He has no way of articulating his feelings, I am sure he doesn't understand them himself. Be patient. Be calm.
You also talk about being "terrified" for him to go somewhere without you. I do not know the details of your situation, but I wonder if your fears are interferring with your parenting? Perhaps your son is feeling overwhelmed by your fears, and reacting against them because they are your fears, not his. If this is the case, I would suggest talking to a counsellor, or trusted friend who has raised children to come up with some ideas of how to gain control over your fears so that you can give your son freedom, and also improve your relationship with him.
I hope you find peace in your journey.
Bonnie
2007-06-05 05:46:01 · answer #1 · answered by Bonnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal but you also have to realize that the more overprotective you are and the more you smother him the more he'll push away from you. Let him spend time with his friends and spend the night with his cousins but try to be attentive when he is home. Eat dinner together and find some fun things for the two of you to do this summer. Let him go to Six Flags with his dad. I know you'll worry but this is his dad, surely he wouldn't let anything bad happen to him. Don't put up with the talking back or you'll really have your hands full when he's a teenager. Tell him no talking back or he won't be allowed to go to his friends' houses or spend the night with his cousins. I would definitely draw the line at talking back.
2007-06-05 02:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by angela 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very normal. He is starting to buck you to test his boundaries. He also may be starting puberty (maybe a little early) which can wreak habit with his mood. As for the six-flags thing. yeah you are being over protective. let him go. Six-flags and other amusement parks are for kids. don't make him miss out on fun experiences. There's nothing to be afraid of. If the anti-social behavior keeps up, then you may want to seek help. But for now, just watch him and let him figure out his boundaries. Depression can affect children. But it is also a normal part of growing up. He may just be finding that his childhood interests are fading, and has yet to find what his adolescent interests are.
2007-06-05 02:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by writenimage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal. He's probobly going throgh puberty or when kids are in the stages of going into there teen-age years they tend to become less social. You've done nothing wrong. It's just a part of life. But still make sure you two still have some time together. Like maybe once a week you guys can do something fun together. That will make you two closer and you will be easier to trust for him. Good luck sweetie!!!
2007-06-05 02:00:46 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you changed his diet? How long has he been doing this? Each dog is individual, just like people... so 14 for one G.S. doesn't mean yours is going to be that lucky. The larger the breed, the shorter the lifespan in dogs. That's why Chihuahuas live forever, seemingly. lol Has your G.S. had a physical lately? That would be a first step... Older dogs also need bloodwork to make sure their systems are functioning correctly. I have a little cairn mix that's 16 but he's a small/medium sized dog... 19 lbs. He has to have labs every so often cuz he's on heart pills and arthritis meds.
2016-05-17 07:16:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is growing up and does not want to be a mommys boy so this can be normal. However, take more time to snoop and make sure he is not into drugs. This is the age now where they start experimenting. Good luck and let go a little and try communicating more with him but not being overly motherly.
2007-06-05 02:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, this is normal!! Its called the pre-teen stage setting in. I have an 11 year old daughter who is going through the same thing.....wanting her friends, wanting privacy, pushing her limits. Kids need time to define who they are. Why are you afraid of him going to Six Flags with his dad?? Has his dad done something to make you not trust him? If not, let the kid go and be a kid. He will come around, its just an age phase.
2007-06-05 02:25:48 · answer #7 · answered by curiousangel73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but it's time you cut the apron strings a little bit. Everything you are saying is very normal he is growing up. But you need to put your foot down if he wants to talk back than he pays the price for being rude. If you don't put a stop to that it will get worse. Tell him that you are the mother and you expect no back talking and if he does he will be staying home.
2007-06-05 02:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by jujl62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep the hormones are changing at about 9 years old they are no longer the dependent baby they used to be .. boys seem to go through stages of rage and UN certainties at about this time my Son started getting better with all that at about 11 .but still goes through rough patches to this day and hes 14
2007-06-05 02:03:49 · answer #9 · answered by silkbutterfly1973 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it was a sudden change?
if so, then somethings, wrong/not right,
at random time when you see him, just bluntly ask "what's wrong?"(don't say it like you want to really know) or something of that nature, the object is surprise, but it may take some time...
if after a week or 2 it doesn't seam to progress much.
you bursting out crying(make it sound real), that'll scare the heck out of almost any kid^^, they'll tell by that...
or maybe he doesn't wanna be a little kid anymore, he's trying to grow up, that's GOOD.
hope it helps
2007-06-05 02:29:00 · answer #10 · answered by Kurisutaru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋