If you refuse to compromise your religious beliefs or standards to appease others, are you being defiant?

Question

I have been addressing this issue a lot here with someone who feels that wearing a scarf on my head is possibly offensive to others and if I wish to make them feel more comfortable in my presence, I should not do it. By refusing to compromise this part of my religion, I was told I am being defiant and apparently do not care how others perceive me or my religion. Quite honestly, that is true. I do not feel I should be pressured to alter my beliefs to appease anybody, especially when they are in no way harmful. Is it offensive when Christians wear a cross, when nuns wear a habit or when a priest wears a robe? No? Then why should it be offensive that a Muslim woman wishes to cover her head? I feel it is selfish and ignorant to ask a person to compromise their standards and desire for modesty, just to make others feel better. I feel caving into this kind of pressure violates my right to freedom of religion, and I will not do it.

What are your thoughts on this?

Daniel- If wearing hijab is a political statement in your eyes, then I have great sympathy for you. Please open your mind to the fact that people practice their religion differently than you and trying to insist that they conform to what you think is acceptable is extremely selfish, ignorant and oppressive. If this is how you really feel, then you must also have a hard time dealing with women who cover their hair when they are working in their garden, or a woman who wears a scarf or a hat because she is losing her hair, or anybody who dares to cover their head with a hat. To me, that is simply ridiculous. Maybe it's a generational thing, since you are 34 years my senior. I hope it is that and not a deeply ingrained prejudice. Either way I hope you can open your eyes to the reality of the issue and learn that people are not going to change to appease you. And quite honestly, my modesty is none of your business. If you don't like it, simply turn your head and look elsewhere.

Answer 1

No. The person who doesn't agree with you is trying to force you to do as they want. That is selfish. If the tables were turned, then they would claim that you were persecuting them.

Answer 2

I refuse to compromise my religious beliefs, and if you were to ask most of my close friends and family (aside from my husband of course) in Morocco, I am being defiant by refusing to convert to Islam.

That said, no, I don't think you're being defiant. I can imagine that the people who do think you are probably see hijab as a political statement (which you must agree it has become) rather than a religious requirement. Perhaps further explanation to those people would help (and I mean, show them where it says it's a requirement! too many westerners believe that it's optional for muslims, and even though it's true that many muslim women choose not to wear it, that doesn't help your cause any!)

Answer 3

Dear Sister...
You are doing the right thing. Keep it up.

Being "defiant" is about the intention of an act, less about the act itself. Your reasons for wearing a hijab are for yourself and for God. You are not out to provoke people on purpose, nor do you demand they follow your example. Your intentions are pure.

If these were the case however, then it would be defiance.

You will always meet and have to deal with people who don´t agree with your choice of "fashion". As you know, this isn´t a problem until they make it into a problem themselves. You can explain your reasons for wearing it until you are blue in the face, but there will always be some people like "Daniel" (who just answered), who will close their ears, claim it is politically motivated, that you shouldn´t do this etc. etc. etc.
They are seeing what they want to see, and are not able to "live and let live". It is OK if others don´t see things your way, it is NOT OK for them to demand you follow their way. If they say you should take it off so THEY feel more comfortable, the problem is actually with THEIR perception of why you wear it, not that you actually have a piece of material over your hair. And if they refuse to open their minds enough to accept that there COULD be a valid reason for having it on (even if they don´t share the same opinion), there is not much you can do except smile and tell them firmly, you´ll keep it on, thank-you very much. Actually giving in to this pressure will let them start attacking you on the next point they don´t like about Islam...and then it won´t end.

I had the unfortunate experience of having to go through this with my mother when I started wearing hijab. She tried her best to get me to not wear it, and it was really difficult to stand up against her like that. But I did, hopefully without hurting too many feelings. That was 10 years ago. After some time she accepted that it was going to stay, and now she even knits me nice scarves to wear outside in winter!! Not everyone will make this progression. But giving in to pressure is wrong. Stay true to yourself!

Answer 4

The crucifix I wear around my neck is small and unobtrusive, but nevertheless I've been told occasionally (in words, or with pointed stares) that it is offensive in some way. Once, a woman felt compelled to ask me why I insisted on keeping Jesus on the cross when he is the risen Lord -- so that was one Christian "offended" by the practice of another!

Wear your head covering, by all means; it is a part of your faith and you have the right to do so. But also expect that you will inevitably encounter people who, through ignorance or fear or just plain bigotry, will make an issue of it. Ignore them. The only pressure you're under is that which you yourself allow.

Answer 5

Dear Sister...

Thank you very Much for this Question....

Lets be more Frank Terry G. You've done something that's rarely done now.. You were not raised in an Islamic culture, despite of that, you studied, learned, and adopted Islam.. You are better than me.. I studied Islam, but I was Born Muslim and Got the chance. I can't criticize your faith of say your defiant by any means.

People don't understand that prayers, worship, and all related matters are matters of a very personal nature, between God and the Human. Abiding by the rules of God is the way to glory.. You sure feel that... when you pray, Pay charity, fast or wear Hijab... feel it.. imagine your self standing in the
presence of a king, in his palace, offering your
loyalty, the king is full of pride and you are proud
to serve him too. feel the glory...

Your real problem Terry G, is that people are very unfair.. they can accept someone walking in New York Half naked carrying his girl friend on his back (and I saw that myself), while they mock anyone of religious appearance.. Siekh, Muslims, even Christians...

Like I said, those who Judge by appearance or by the first impact are Mindless, Brainless people, see the last quest I asked...

It is weired that people say for someone who's tattooing his body like a snake or a lizard.. "It's freedom" while hardly criticize a lady who prefers to wear or not to wear a scarf..
Isn't that strange?

Go on your Way terry G.. do what you see it's Good and don't listen to them, It's between you and God.

Answer 6

The people who cleared the Minneapolis bridge as safe for travel were sincere in their beliefs...that did not change the outcome. Sincere belief is not the standard. Truth is. I have considered other belief systems as factual...the evidence does not show in their favor. For example, Islam forbids the Qu'ran translation into other languages...what are they afraid of? Jainism, where is the geological evidence of the cycles? Buddhism...which form, which sacred books? They mutually contradict each other. Which isn't a problem for Buddhism. The Bible makes an objective claim to truth, if true, none of the others can be. Or are you trying to say that all religions are equally valid which invalidates all of them?

Answer 7

I am with you sisii, Hijab shoud not be offensive to anyone...Its our dress code...if someone doesn't agree with the reiglion.....thats their probem..we have our faith and we are proud to follow it...its better if people accept it with open heart, otherwise we realy don't care what they think.becuase we know we are right! How can it be offensive to someone if a woman want to cover her hair? So you see sisii, problem is not hijab, problem is "islam" which is pinching such people ..they simply don't want musims to follow it..believe me if islam had told us not to cover the hair but walk around open, these people would have problem with that too and at that point they would have been telling muslims"why don't you cover your hair"..I can bet on it ! You see its just their intolerance which is not letting them to accept a simple dress code...!

Be strong with your scarf sisii and don't care what those people think becuase you are right in it !

Peace be with you !

Answer 8

No, you are not being defiant. You are being a Muslim. There are too many people trying to define us and tell us how to practice this deen. Subhana'Allah. Be you. The bottom line is, you, me and every other Muslim on this planet will answer to Allah (SWT) and not to another creation. You're not hurting anyone.

Answer 9

in their eyes u r being defiant---i get this all the time too

like the french headscarf ban---i could really get into all the different parts of this it's like peeling off the layers of an onion...small crosses are okay. Do I think crosses are offensive NO but do I NOT notice even small ones--WRONG--I notice them all, and they do stand out!

they want to put their beliefs on u...why couldn't u just do this or that? your hair isn't revealing anything....it's only hair....
don't listen to them do what ur convictions lead u to do

Answer 10

i think the bottom line is if people like homosexuals and pro-abortion (which these two groups of people offend a lot of people) are not banned from public.hijab shouldn't be a problem.we live in a backwards world where immoral behaviour and dress is liberation and the good thing and where moral behavior and moral dress is seen as oppressive and bad

Answer 11

slamo aleko, bisma'Allah arahmai araheem....
well said sister. i am with you. and i feel the same as you. i told one of my contact who is Muslim that because of the acts of the terrorists we all now suffer the persecution be us good and be those bad. until terrorists came about people didn't give us such hard time. now they find every tiny thing that they can to bite us, annoy us, bash us, degrade us, and belittle Allah Subhanna wa ta'ala as much as they possibly can. i don't see us in a non violent Islam doing this to them and what they believe. and if we start, we then become just like them and no better. so i say that we can live out our Islam as the intentions from our hearts is what Allah subhanna wa ta'ala will judge us from. AND THIS IS WHAT MATTERS. WHAT ALLAH SUBHANNA WA TA'ALA SAY AND FEELS ABOUT US IS WHAT WILL MAKE OR BREAK US. remember this. the hellfire is much hotter and meaner.
because all this persecution may be a test of our faith. and if it is, make the righteous slaves of Allah those who don't kill. those who cover in modesty. those who are faithful to salaat, those who give in zakat to Muslims and non Muslim. may we stand stronger against those who abide against us and may we seek refuges against the shayton. ameen insha'Allah