I recently went vegan and now I am going to have to face my relatives and tell them, what do I say?

Question

I want to be prepared and not end up soundiing stupid, or like a made this desicion based on a whim. I went vegan because I love animals and I think its disgusting and wrong to raise them to be murdered. I dont eat eggs or dairy because I think of eggs as undeveloped baby chickens ( I used to live on a farm and had cute little chicks running around everywhere) and milk and cheese is just yucky to me. Plus I hear some cheese contains some lining from the cows stomach...

How can I say it intelligently and maturely to them and get my point across nice and clear without having to beat around the bush?

Answer 1

I totally sympathise. The truth is, nobody will understand at first. You'll face questions that you know the answers to but find that you can't articulate them on the spot, and end up feeling stupid and over-sensitive. It's best just to say 'I don't agree with the industry in general' at first then let them form the questions one at a time after that.

You can usually tell when someone is genuinely concerned and wants to know your reasons, and when someone is just irritated and exasperated and has no intention of listening to you no matter what.

I still haven't told my grandmother I'm vegan because I just can't take the earache . She continued to offer me fish for a year after I went vegetarian and couldn't understand why I wouldn't eat it.

Read 'vegan freak' by Bob and Jenna Torres. It's perfect for the new vegan or someone thinking of becoming vegan, and gives you tips on exactly this kind of dilemma.

Answer 2

It really doesn't have to be a huge announcement! Just phone ahead to let the person preparing the food know that you no longer eat meat, poultry or dairy. Offer to bring your own meal if it will make things easier.

Prepare your answers, based on something a little more authoritative than 'It's yucky', lol ... explain that you have been looking into the way meat products are produced and you want to try a diet without meat. You can mention that many unsafe practices are involved in meat production, leading to problems such as the spread of 'Mad Cow' disease.

Stress also that you are doing this for yourself and are not on a crusade to change what they eat and enjoy, nor do you require special treatment in other ways.

If you can keep your cool and stick to your position, without getting overly emotional, people will tend to accept that it is your own business and leave you to it.

There are always some nitwits who think it's up to them to give people a hard time. Unless they become really obnoxious, just ignore them or say 'each to his own' .

Best of luck :-)

Answer 3

This is such a hard question for a family that we don't know.

While it's all nice and rosy to say that you shouldn't have to explain yourself, families are known for making their members feel uncomfortable. "Shouldn'ts" go out the window in families.

Think about how you are considering explaining it and then think about how they will react. Sometimes, complete honesty works. Sometimes "beating around the bush" is the only way to go to avoid a huge blowout and being uninvited to family events for the rest of your life.

Assuming you are an adult, just let them know before you come over and offer to bring vegan friendly food, wine, drinkes, etc. And then follow up, because unless they have a vegan or vegetarian in the household, you'll end up with honey glazed shrimp, organic pizza, and fettucini alfredo.

Let anyone know that if they want to discuss why you became vegan over a cup of coffee or a glass of organic unfiltered port, you'll be happy to oblige. But save the heavy conversation for after dinner and remember that there is nothing wrong with not getting the last word and walking away.

Good luck to you.

Oh, and cheese isn't always made with animal rennet. Many brands use vegetarian rennet. : )

Answer 4

Why is it necessary to make an announcement about your personal diet, ill-advised and uninformed as it may be? Unless you are becoming vegan as some sort of attention getting tactic, a group face off is hardly needed.

As for your reasons, unless you specifically buy fertized eggs, most chicken eggs are not fertile and can never have a "baby chicken" in them. Look for Kosher ones to be absolutely sure. And there are many cheese made with non animal source rennets, so you can eat cheese if you read labels.

Some insulin and heparin is made from animal sources-are you so "pure" that you'd choose death over those drugs which can be life-saving? I'm not so sure about this not being a bit of whim because have some information that simply isn't correct.

If you are old enough to control your own diet, though, what type it is need not be announced to anyone unless they are feeding you and then you can quietly tell them what you do or don't eat.

Answer 5

Just tell them that you think it is wrong and feel as though you have made an informed decision. You don't owe them an explanation, but if they push you then tell them why and what you think. If you are worried do a little research on different tactics used to slaughter animals and other cruel practices used in the food industry.
Just make sure you don't lecture them and don't throw a fit because they are not like you. That shows a lack of maturity, having a calm debate is one thing, freaking out and screaming is another.
Good Luck

Answer 6

I think the way you described it in your question is intelligent and mature. Just tell them the truth -- I worried about this too, and yes, I get teased by my brothers all the time for being such a "hippie," but they've gotten used to it. Several people have told me that they really respect my decision and wish they had the self-discipline for it.

Your diet's your business, anyway. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Answer 7

You shouldn't have to explain to anyone. Make the statement that you are no vegan if it comes up. If anyone asks why, just tell them that it was a personal decision. That way you don't get any negative feedback. (you might still get some anyway). But you point of view and feelings about it won't be out on the chopping block.

Answer 8

Tell them why you have chosen your vegan lifestyle, and prepare yourself for the dumb ??'s as you see asked and answered in this subject!!
I have been a vegetarian for almost 10 years and am so burnt out on the debates and stupid ?'s I just refrain from saying anything. If I can get by with out mentioning it i do. Its just the ignorance of the people who doesn't understand my views, nor do they care that I feel that way.
So I just keep it to my self.
If I go to eat somewhere, as in a BBQ.. I always take mt own stuff, Family get togethers my mom always looks out for me..
GOOD LUCK and continue your vegan ways its the best WAY!!

Answer 9

Say "I decided I wanted to eat a lot healthier, and I don't like the idea of killing animals to use as food if it isn't necessary. The vegan diet I've chosen to follow allows me to do this. I bothered to study about it before making my decision, so I know that I'm eating well while still being able to follow my beliefs. I'm not asking you to eat this way, just allow me to without criticism. Thank you."

Answer 10

You explained it pretty well here, to us. So just the same thing to your relatives. Stand up for yourself, so what if they dont understand? What is important is that they accept it as a serious decision and dont try to make you eat animal products. Good luck.