Is this possessiveness?

Question

Is this possessiveness?
I had an affair nearly for 5 years. Now since I have been out of touch with him (he stays in some other city) and also bcoz he didn't help me when I sought his financial help I really started losing interest in him. Now I got close to another man. Before when I used to tell him (first one) about the 2nd person that I like him very much he used to tell me that definitely you both are going to have sex one day that time I refused telling that other than you I cannot love anybody it is all your feelings. Bcoz I am moving closely with that person he tried to distance away from me and atlast we were having lesser contacts over the phone , which is the source of contact between us. Now when I told him that person has expressed his wish to have sex with me he is degrading him like anything. Is this what you told friendship is? He has shown his true colour. He is like a dog waiting for his chance etc. When I said that you are talking all this only bcoz of possessivenes

used to tell him no male is exceptional in the matter of sex. The first one is married for nearly 15 -16 years and since he didn't get the pleasure from his wife he came to me. Where as the second one is unmarried. So I used to point out this to him . He says how can you fall in love with another man . Even when I wanted divert from this topic he keeps on harping on it. What does this mean. Is it possessiveness. or he is not able to digest it. He says that I distanced away from u only bcoz you are close to him. Inspite of my telling no it is not so.What he says is you are not able to digest it , since I am ignoring this.

Answer 1

Drama, drama, drama!

Sheesh, where are the supporting facts for the question?

Answer 2

In a psychological stand point I would not call it possessiveness. Possessive individuals are much worse than you have mentioned. They can almost become violent in there acts to be close or with you.
It seems to me like your guy number one, is just playing games and using you. You didnt say much about the second guy, but i guess that is neither here nor there.
Having an opinion about someone whether it is good or bad, is not an act of possession.

Answer 3

sonia ,
After rading a verylong question i raly could not access wut u exaactly want?is it a company of a person [1st or 2nd],or just ur happy that uhave 2 spouses? n ucan handle them?.
if ur good looking and if ur nature is to havae many friends u get many ,but its a bad attitude of a fem ale to play with some bodys emotions , its a kind of attitude of prostituet i feel . be a good ,respected women , for that u respect the other women 2,n a married person when can deceive a wife any time he can deceive u .

instead of finding if its possesiveness or ? u better solve the thing to settle ur self as well as other 2 persons in their own life .

Answer 4

The way you write your question is not very clear and difficult to understand. If you would like a proper and thorough answer, you should try not to make your question so long and convoluted. To be honest, life would have been a whole lot easier had you never had an affair.

Answer 5

well the first guy only wants you for sex. he is getting something from a wife he has been with for 15 to 16 years. trust me i was a wife like that with a husband running around on me. i was only married for 4 years but i was in my mid twentys 140 pounds and hot looking. he kept me on a shelf. it was bs. and yea, we were having sex while he ran around on me. so him saying he's not getting it at home i doubt it. now about the single man. why dont you show your attention to him. he is noones man but yours. are you afraid of commitment? make up your mind if you want to live a lie or enjoy life.

and to answer you question it is not possessiveness.

Answer 6

No this not Possessiveness. He is just don't want to leave you only because with you he can have easily,freely sex and have sex with you as many as times he likes to do.

and feels safe from your side to have sex with you.

But remember one thing that he is not serious with you at all.

He just want to hold you only for his lust because from you he can easily get what he wants to have.

If he is right then he have not cheaten his wife. He is making you emotionally fool, means he is using the trick of emotionally blackmail.

First of all its not right to have relation with married person because he can cheat you also as he is cheating is wife who is his soul partner/life partner.

He is playing with both of you and having fun and making both of you fool.

Remember the person who can leave his wife, who can cheat his wife cannot become faithfull to some other girl.

You must leave him

You ll not be alone who is in his life. He must also having another g.f. to satisfy his lust and needs.

Its better for to understand your position and go on the right way otherwise you ll be alone whole life and he ll keep you for using you.

Answer 7

You are so confused. This is clear from the way you have put your ideas.
It is so difficult to have two men at the same time. It makes you confused and troubled. Besides, you lose interest.

Make up your mind. Whom do you love, like, at least, want? Leave the other.

Answer 8

hi sonia....its not possessiveness nor it is his love you neither its his care and concern for you.he already has a wife to whom he is married for so many years.when a man can betray his wife for you it ll not take a fraction of second for him to betray you or........he may already be doing it.he only want you to satisfy his need.where as the second man is concerned.......did he say he want to marry you?if he has not told anything like this then let him also go to hell all men are dogs.if he says he loves you and ready to marry you then go ahead with him but dont do anything before wedding.......dont loose your self respect to anyperson on earth,hope i have made myself clear.now decision is yours....think properly and all the best

Answer 9

He is not able to digest the fact that you can take independent decision and you can have choice of your own. It si not posseesiveness but zealousy. If he is dog then ask him what is he? How he is different from you ask him ?

But my suggestion will be let the past be past and have your own choice.

Answer 10

Seems to me like an episode of Laguna BEach.... without the beach !