He has NO sense of responsibility AT ALL. He came home with a D in English last week and hadn't turned in 4 EASY assignments (complete 0's) and blamed my husband because he said he "didn't have anything to read to do the assignment on" but had never even asked to go to the library or said he needed a book. We ask EVERY day if he has assignments, he says "no" and plays on his computer all night. He was put on a week's restriction from all electronics and every single day he came home yelling and screaming that he didn't understand why we cared if he got good grades- he's FINE with a loser job and no education. He seriously doesn't care about a damn thing. Even though we VERY routinely tell him the consequences of his actions (backtalking, doing rotten things to his sister, running around in a store like a 3 year old), he still does them, gets in trouble, and has the nerve to throw a tantrum (screaming, stomping) wherever we are! He lies, manipulates, screams- please help.
2007-05-29 21:38:45 · 7 answers · asked by JustChristi 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Umm- some person unfairly said I don't care about his education... I'm a teacher and I call his teachers regularly and they don't generally get back to us for weeks. We try to get his to "give a damn" and explain why he needs to do well, why he can't stomp around like a little kid, etc... he doesn't GET IT. My son and my step-daughter (who are younger than he is) GET IT and don't have to be told repeatedly the same things. They get good grades and take responsibility. It's just my step-son that doesn't. And my husband had allowed this behavior for YEARS before I married into this family. Now I'm stuck trying to untangle this mess with him. I'm sorry if SOMEONE ("Whatever") got the idea I wasn't involved in his school, but I VERY much am at every level. He just lies repeatedly and his teachers don't always call back. Frankly, I think they're sick of us checking up on him.
2007-05-29 22:11:32 · update #1
Take the computer away period until the grades improve. Don't allow him to leave the house until his homework is done. Tell his teacher to give you his assignments, so that you will be aware of what he needs to complete. When he starts screaming, tell him that if he is going to act like a baby, he will be treated like one, and sit him in the corner facing the wall . Add 15 minutes every time he opens his mouth. Give him an allowance, and take away some part of it every time he misbehaves, in addition to his punishment. Don't allow him to go to the store with you to spend his allowance unless he behaves.
Call a therapist, and make an appointment immediately. Also, have him checked for dyslexia. It took me 7 years to get my son straight, but it worked. (He started giving me trouble in 2nd grade) Just keep reminding him that you are doing these things because you love him and want him to be a success in life.
The thing my son says encouraged him the most is that I never gave up and I never stopped loving him no matter what he did! He is 19 years old now, and I couldn't be more proud of him!!
Good Luck!
2007-05-29 22:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me be the first to tell you that he has homework every night except Friday. So if you choose to accept him telling you he has none, then you "allow" him to play on his computer all night, You and your husband are to blame.
If you let a 12 year old, scream and stomp and act out this way, You are to blame. You and your husband both need to accept responsibilty for your lack of parenting skills and lack of parental guidance.
You say "He seriously doesn't care about a damn thing", but you are showing him that, you don't really care either. That is how he feels, believe me.. It is obvious that you are not involved with his school or in conference with his teachers, nor instilled any educational values, because you simply have not been interested enough in his education. This is why he is acting out...If you start acting like you give a damn, then he will too.
2007-05-30 04:53:21 · answer #2 · answered by milkmansbaby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This kid needs to see a psychologist as soon as you can get him there. Obviously he has poor impulse control, and there are probably more problems, too. Sometimes this turns into family counseling, but it's a good idea to do what you can to turn this kid around. I know you want him to be a contributing member of society rather than a burden on his family.
2007-05-30 04:43:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you two aren't really parenting at all!
However, his behaviours aren't all his fault, it's partially a result of being from a broken home, and as he's approaching puberty, he's at a loss with how to deal with things. Perhaps the two of you could take some teen parenting classes, or at least read some books.
2007-05-30 08:26:19 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you.. Wow. not even your biological child at that?..Miliary school if you can afford.. Take away t.v, everything, until he starts acting right, Don't entertain his arguments.. As soon as he starts bitching, immediately send him to his room and ignore is rants and raving on the way up..You need dad to step up here and be firm with the brat.
2007-05-30 04:48:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You let him get away with it.
YOU are the adult.
YOU make the rules!!!!
If he has a problem with that, ship him off to his other parent.
2007-05-30 04:45:20 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where is his mum in all this. Maybe he has some issues over this (just an idea) It is a horrible age and i hope it gets better for you
2007-05-30 05:36:05 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋