You think its fair that in islam, men can have four wives ???

Question

isnt it biased ???

Answer 1

No, I think it a shame that they would treat women the way they do. I feel bad for the women that are born and live in places that don't have equal human rights. Even though as an american female. We have had our share of mistreatment. At least we don't have to tolerate things like that.

Answer 2

Very nice question and very very nice answers.
I am very surprised and excited.
I know that the Quran says “Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that
ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.”
but still there are some questions in my mind:
1. Why did the Prophet have several (between 1 and 4). Is he an exception?
2. If no one could deal justly then why must it be written. it could have been forbidden just like alcohol?

I have answered my self with this fact that this sentence in the Koran wanted to show the permission in just a scope (limit) of time. This scope might be at War times or it might be the past when the Prophet lived.

I have heard that the prophet said that I have left amoung you the Holy book and my ETRAT.
I realy dont know what the word means but I have read that it means 12 Guiders (Imams?) that are like a talking Koran and in each time one of them exsists (the Prophet was one of them)!

If this is true, then they are the ones in Islam that define the true time or place to have more than four wives (maybe?)!

I dont realy know if I reached a good conclusion or not. I realy think I need to learn more!!!!

Answer 3

During the time when Islam was born it was war. In the war many women lost their sons and husbands. They had no support. So in Islam they made a rule to help those helpless women. That is man can marry 4 wives for protection with the consent of his already married wife(4+1=5).
When the time changed the rule lost its purpose, people took the advantage of it and misused them. Rules are to updated or upgraded else this what it results in choas.

Answer 4

What is not fair about having four wives anyway? Why is it fair to have only one one wife? Defining the question in the way you have implies that any man who identifies his faith as being of the Islamic tradition can have multiple wives. That is a fallacy. Maybe some branches of Islamic faith may allow men to have multiple spouses but definitely not all do <1>. In some branches of Islamic faith monogamy is held as a virtue as much as what it is in some branches of Christianity or Judaism or Hinduism etc etc.
If all Christian priests are to be celibate, is it fair that imams are allowed to marry and indeed have multiple wives? But not all Christian priests have to be celibate, in some strains of Christian faith priests can marry and even divorce. As shocking as this may sound, in some Christian faiths, priests can be male or female and even be homosexual <2>. Is it fair that Islamic men can be polygomous ? Is it fair that Christian priests not be celibate?
I think what is fair is that while there may be some things about other cultures and religions people may find strange on the surface, if the individuals involved turn out to be warm caring and loving and have core values that we identify with no matter what gods or god they care to worship or not worship,
then that should be the test of fairness. If a man with multiple spouses love, cares, nurtures his partners and their offspring and if you can look into each of his wives eyes and his children's eyes and see peace and contentment with the way their lives are, then they will probably say what they have is fair.

Answer 5

Yes, I think it is fair if each women agrees. One thing a women has to agree. It is not simply that the man comes and says " well baby meet your new co-wife", in Islam he should discuss this with the wife. Three things can happen; the wife can agree, the wife can not agree and no new co-wife, or the wife and husband can divorce and he can go marry the new wife. It is frowned on to have more then one wife. I know some women living here that this is the situation, I would not say they are unhappy. I think it is because they choose this. Many women are consumed with families and other things. I know I would not approve to a co-wife simply because I need attention from my husband. It is simply like this to each their own.

Answer 6

This is intresting question, I want to answer those ladies who want to have four husbands etc. please read below with respect

POLYANDRY
Question:

If a man is allowed to have more than one wife, then why does Islam prohibit a
woman from having more than one husband?
Answer:
A lot of people, including some Muslims, question the logic of allowing Muslim
men to have more than one spouse while denying the same ‘right’ to women.
Let me first state emphatically, that the foundation of an Islamic society is justice
and equity. Allah has created men and women as equal, but with different
capabilities and different responsibilities. Men and women are different,
physiologically and psychologically. Their roles and responsibilities are different.
Men and women are equal in Islam, but not identical.
Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4 verses 22 to 24 gives the list of women with whom
Muslim men can not marry. It is further mentioned in Surah Nisa’ Chapter 4
verse 24 “Also (prohibited are) women already married”


The following points enumerate the reasons why polyandry is prohibited in
Islam:
1. If a man has more than one wife, the parents of the children born of such
marriages can easily be identified. The father as well as the mother can
easily be identified. In case of a woman marrying more than one husband,
only the mother of the children born of such marriages will be identified and
not the father. Islam gives tremendous importance to the identification of
both parents, mother and father. Psychologists tell us that children who do
not know their parents, especially their father undergo severe mental
trauma and disturbances. Often they have an unhappy childhood. It is for
this reason that the children of prostitutes do not have a healthy childhood.
If a child born of such wedlock is admitted in school, and when the mother
is asked the name of the father, she would have to give two or more names!
I am aware that recent advances in science have made it possible for both
the mother and father to be identified with the help of genetic testing. Thus
this point which was applicable for the past may not be applicable for the
present.
2. Man is more polygamous by nature as compared to a woman.
3. Biologically, it is easier for a man to perform his duties as a husband despite
having several wives. A woman, in a similar position, having several
husbands, will not find it possible to perform her duties as a wife. A woman
undergoes several psychological and behavioral changes due to different
phases of the menstrual cycle.
4. A woman who has more than one husband will have several sexual
partners at the same time and has a high chance of acquiring venereal or
sexually transmitted diseases which can also be transmitted back to her
husband even if all of them have no extra-marital sex. This is not the case
in a man having more than one wife, and none of them having extra-marital
sex.
The above reasons are those that one can easily identify. There are probably
many more reasons why Allah, in His Infinite Wisdom, has prohibited polyandry

Answer 7

There can be nothing more painful to a woman than to share her husband’s love with some other women.

I haven’t read Quran but what I got to know from around is that there is a provision of four wives in Islam but it’s not compulsory.

I don't care about other Muslim women in the world but in India there must be one for one because Allah has created them as equal and its man on earth who manipulated his words of wisdom.

I want Muslim women to enjoy equal rights in India as their Hindu, Sikhs or Christian counterparts do.

Answer 8

Peace for all,
My points as below:
- Islam only allows polygamy up to four wives but Islam never encourage it. In fact, due to strict conditions that Quran give which has been explained by my brothers/sisters, it's better to have only 1 wife.
- Nobody can force a women to be second, third or fourth wife.
- Islam is the ONLY major religion in the world that limit the number of the wives. I know Christians say they are only allowed to marry one. My question is, who says? Jesus? No, he never say that. Bible? No as well. Many biblical figures have lots of wives. The answer is of course, the Church, which think that it's better than God and Jesus.
- Lastly, western women would rather be mistresses with no legal rights whatsoever than being legal second wife.

Answer 9

If an woman is allowed to have four husbands then sometimes it is fair to have four wives for an islam or any man. according to me one partmer is good even for a islam or anybody else he could have the full enjoyment and without any irritation he has to satisfy his wife. eventhough the four wives are adjustable then also there will be a unsatisfactory life among them so it is not fair

Answer 10

They can only have four wives IF they do perfect justice, which is virtually impossible. The same verse which allows them four also says that try as they might, they can never do justice between them. And justice is the primary requirement where this tenet of Islam is concerned and should automatically deter men from marrying more than one just for their own "pleasure".
So the point is generally that those widows which are living in destitution can have support from a man, provided he has the consent of his first wife. It is meant to keep women from being driven to prostitution.
Cheers.