I have a good friend who teaches with me and we've been friends for a year now she is getting married in June and had asked me to be in here wedding last fall. I threw her a beautiful bachelorette party and spent a lot of money on her because I thought we were friends. Another friend showed up from work and they both have become thick as fleas so much that during the party, they hung out together and pretty much ignored everyone else. I was hurt. And now I find out she has asked this woman to be in her wedding because another friend bailed out on her. She wants me to carpool to OKC and wants to go halfsy on the rental car. I'm not interested in doing that and I feel like I'm pretty much going to be ignored at the wedding like I was at the bacherlorette party. Is it wrong of me to feel this way? I feel like a little kid jealous over friends but maybe I set myself up. I'm still going but to be honest I am not very excited about it now. Is it wrong to feel this way?
2007-05-29 16:19:06 · 10 answers · asked by ooolala 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
People can get very self absorbed around their weddings. And honestly it doesn't sound like you are competing for her friendship. You are just close to her in a different ways. I have a friend that I can talk to about anything and there are others that ummm yeah we'll hang out but I wouldn't call us terribly close. Go to OKC together. The ride down could give you some commonality that will help you get over this uneasiness. Plus with the cost of gas making that trip alone if you really don't have to would be silly. It's just a few hours in the car and really it could be a good thing having someone else in the car if you don't want to drive anymore or just to keep you company. The situation you described was unlikely to happen and even if she asked the new girl last she asked you first. She wants you there so go and be happy for her.
2007-05-29 17:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is hard for us as women to deal with being pushed to the side. It is even harder when you have spent allot of money and think you will get praised for what you have done only to be ignored. You should be the bigger person and be friends with this gal. Just waltz right up and involve yourself. Don't let them ignore you. Don't let anyone know your pain. It is after all your friends wedding and it really should be all about her on that day. If she ignores you after that just go on and try to do your best to heal, but for now be a great friend. You will feel better about yourself in the long run.
2007-05-29 17:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong to feel this way; your personal feelings are never wrong. If you are close with the bride then I would ask her about it. I've had lots of friends get married lately and they have all had "crazy Bridezilla" moments. If you don't feel comfortable talking to the bride, talk to this other friend.
Take the road trip with this other person and see if there is something you are missing. It could be the bride sees something you haven't yet!
2007-05-29 17:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by longhornfan1722 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You feel like a little kid, because you are acting like a little kid. Time to grow up!
2. This day is about her, not you. Recognize that and act like it!
3. Changes are coming in your relationship anyway. As a newly married woman, she will need to change-- Two have become one- she no longer is only repsonsible to and for herself. Your relationship is changing anyway.
4. Maybe she recognizes this and subconsciously (sp?) breaking away from you a bit to spare herself and you the hurt feelings.
5 You have only a year invested in her, it's not like you have College, High school and Grade school experiences to fall back on. Recognize it for what it is, still be her friend, but don;t be klingy and jealous and petty- or else it is done. For good!
2007-05-29 16:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by pastrbuzz 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
nope you are human you have the right to your feelings..they are hurt..now its up to you on how you act..she is a good friend you said so yourself....so go to the wedding do what you were asked to do...and be done with it..at some point in the future when she asks why..you can be the bigger person and say..you ignored me you hurt my feelings..but i was trying to be your friend and not ruin your day...and let it slide..i have decided to part ways with you...because i really dont owe you anything else unless you have an apology you would like to give to me..
2007-05-29 16:28:35 · answer #5 · answered by bailie28 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not wrong to feel like you are being treated wrong. Your friend is taking advantage of you and that is unfair to you. Personally, I wouldn't go since I can find other ways to occupy my time that are much more interesting than attending the wedding of a questionable friend.
2007-05-29 16:30:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
you're a mysogynist piece of crap! Lay off the ladies, ok, or i will bypass to you to coach you a lesson. ladies will possibly not have good suggestion for adult men yet they have not been us, so decrease them some slack. they commonly do supply sound suggestion to one yet another and that's all we are able to ask for.
2016-10-30 04:14:17 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront her about it and be honest with her how that made you feel. (When you did x, it made me feel y)
You need to think about what YOU want, find out what you are doing to get it, then change what you do until you get what you want.
People are not mind readers which is why we as humans need to communicate more. I hope it all works out for you!
TC
2007-05-29 16:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Little kid jealous over friends: Yeap you hit the nail on the head!
2007-05-29 16:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by JUAN FRAN$$$ 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yes it is. And yes, you sound like one of your students.
2007-05-29 23:40:57 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋