I don't even know what time this is... maybe the 4th or 5th time that he's cheated on me. but i've been his partner for 6 years. and it's hard to let go of that, i have no identity outside of him, he does so much for me, that i could never do alone, i just have to learn how to make it hurt less or something, or become better for him, or something, god, why again?
2007-05-29 16:06:50 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is really difficult to leave a relationship, especially after being together for so long. I'm not going to lye to you, but if you decide to leave (which you should) it wont be easy at first. Not having a life besides your man leaves you in a lonely world. Soon as you start socializing and meeting new people you will feel amazing. You will gain plenty of respect for yourself and life will be better. You deserve better so leave. There is support out there of you (this for instance) good luck.
2007-05-29 16:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Carla S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to do two things. 1. Establish your own identity, 2. Visualize the future where you are in a relationship where you are not cheated on. It is funny how you focus on the 6 years, so what. You want 26 more of the same? I would look at like this, if you have had 6 years, you should expect more.
And sorry to say the 4th or 5th time is probably more like 10 or 15, and there is probably still another girl on the side.
Do what ever you have to do to get professional advice. I would say your core relationship is not that good, even if there was no cheating. Take care.
2007-05-29 16:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by Gatsby216 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First remember 1 it is not you.2 you are an individual person and really copuld make it on your own. There are alot of people who just stay in a place they shouldn't because they do not know how to move on. He is not gooing to stop. He has the best of both. Someone to pick up clean and cook plus bring money into the house. then their is the one on the side that he is spending his money on that should be coming into your house. You tell me 4 or 5 times that means almost once a year and once is a mistake maybe even twice but after that he is making the choices that make him feel good. he know s you are not going anywhere. time to make him wake up and smell the coffee. Girlfriend. Start putting money away he does not know about and when you have enough walk out the door.If yoou stay nothing is ever going to change unless maybe he finds something better and moves on. seems to me he is already looking for that.
2007-05-29 16:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by debbie f 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haul your a** out of there this minute. There is nothing he did for you that eventually you could not have done for yourself. The only thing he did is sap your self esteem to the point that you think you are nothing without him. Get your own identity back. He continues to cheat because you let him. He has no respect for you and never will. You're scared that you'll fail without him, but that's what abusers do: they convince you that you need them when it's the other way around. Get your stuff, call a friend/family member and tell them you need a place to stay for a little while. Make a to-do list every night before you go to bed of things that you need to start doing to get your life back. You are worth so much more than what you think. God Bless.
2007-05-29 16:13:57 · answer #4 · answered by stseukn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason he keeps cheating on you is because he knows that he can cheat and get away with it. You havent shown him that there will be any conseqences if he cheats. Basically he is taking advantage of your dependancy on him. You need to stick up for yourself because deserve SO much better. I know how you feel when you say you have no identity outside of him. You just need to build up your self esteem and learn to love yourself. You are worthy of being loved and treated right, you just need to believe it. Its the scariest thing in the world to do, but once you do you will be free from your dependancy on him. If you believe in God then just remind yourself that he loves you and he wants so much better for you. Good luck with everything!
2007-05-29 16:17:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is possible that you have developed a dependent relation ship with him ,but you can to anything he can do for you and probably better then he can so figure out your emotions go to work have a job take care of your self and enjoy your life and get rid of him before the next present he brings you could be a std and that would ruin your entire life so do what you need to do ,get yourself together and get out as fast as you can and good luck, and guys will cheat if you let them in other words you should have left him the first time , then you wouldn't be going through this again ,but since he knows you depend on him and he knows you are not going anywhere he will keep cheating so get rid of him
2007-05-29 16:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bay-bee you need to move on girl. It is much easier for us to forgive than to drop a guy like a hot tamale. You do not deserve this bull **** and yet you keep taking him back. You know why he keeps doing it??? B/c you are the one he comes home to and he want his cake too. He knows that he can keep doing it and doing it b/c you will not dump his *** for it.
When you say no identity??? You mean no friends or a social life right??? Then make ties: go out with co-workes, join group activities where you meet new people. You have control over your self esteem and it looks pretty low.
I know what it is to be in love and hard to let go. But once you set your self free you will be better off. Stop putting your self down b/c you deserve better.
Or better yet set your foot on the ground and tell him you aint taking his **** anymore.....And dont let him over take you with his I am sorrys,kisses, and cries. You have integrity and it is about time you do something about it....GET IT TOGETHER,BRING OUT YOUR INNER STRENGHT, AND MOVE ON!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-29 16:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by Lil Miss Lis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time that you found yourself once again. First thing first, drop him like the piece of crap that he is. Then, get rid of all the bad memories and placed it elsewhere (you don't have to throw it away). Do something that keeps you active and keeps him our of your mind. Don't get me wrong, it will be a LONG process. Stop being dependent on him and depend on yourself. You deserve better, it is time that you realize it and shine out your real self that has been locked up for six years.
2007-05-29 16:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by fallenxangel2o9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear of the unknown is a horrible thing and keeps us in very bad situations sometimes. Keeping you dependent on him is a way of making sure he can have his cake and eat it too. You need to realize that you deserve better, that you shouldnt play second to any other woman. If he cannot appreciate you then you need to move on. It may be scary, but you need to put yourself first for once, it doesnt seem as if you are use to that. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS
2007-05-29 16:16:11 · answer #9 · answered by ricanbronxbomb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was losing your identity, you never let a man have his say on your life, boy you need to stand on your two feet and walk away, your man will never stop cheating. Hit the door and never look back.
2007-05-29 16:13:40 · answer #10 · answered by fbellard2000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋