Well she didn't come out and call me fat, but she compared me to someone who she called a big girl and said I was built like that. My boyfriend was in the other room at the time and heard her say it but didn't say anything right then to her. He talked to me about it after. He said he was going to say something to her.
Should I say something to her?
For the record, I'm not like super skinny, but I don't think I'm all that fat either (wear a size 12).
2007-05-29 15:12:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
YES........... inlaws............ give it right back to her...........
2007-05-29 15:16:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Ouch. It could be that she didn't mean it the way it sounded. Or she could be threatened that you've got her son's attention and she doesn't.
The grown up thing to do is probably let it go, or maybe make a joke out of it to let her know that it "irked" you without coming off as over sensitive.
If she's a woman likely to "pick" she could be window shopping to see what kind of dig gets to you. If you think that's the case never reveal what your hot buttons are, she'll exploit them like crazy.
I always find that by ignoring these things and then making a joke about it the offender comes off looking a little like a bully or just a jackass and that sometimes is a deterrent for future insults.
I'm sorry this happened to you, it's certainly not a fun situation but try not to obsess about it. If you like and respect her and she's generally a nice woman you can mention that it hurt your feelings but don't give her an inch if she's a rag in general.
Also, if this guy is a passing fancy then just let it go, if it's a long term deal then tread carefully and establish how you expect to be treated early on.
Good luck!
2007-05-29 15:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by Lori 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ouch. If your boyfriend says something to her, maybe she will clarify or apologize for saying that. Secondly, you're definitely not fat. A size 12 is average.
The woman sounds maybe a little envious or insecure about you. Give her a break. You're young; she's old; she's probably freaked out that her son is dating someone he really cares about you know?
Don't give it another thought. Good luck.
2007-05-29 15:20:47 · answer #3 · answered by Lively 4 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people speak without thinking. If your boyfriend said he would talk to her, then let him handle it. She may or may not have meant anything by what she said, but it's best to not take stuff like that too personally. If you are happy with yourself, then don't worry about what other people think or what they say. If she makes a remark like that to you again, you could tell her she hurt your feelings. Good luck!
2007-05-29 15:20:10 · answer #4 · answered by ~Debbie~ 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it is unfortunate that she felt the need to be commenting on your appearance in the first instance but particulary commenting in a negative way. Obviously you felt belittled and hurt by her suggestion that you were overweight or "Big". As far as confronting her about it, maybe you should just let her know you were concerned about her what she said, as you don't feel you fit into the "Big" category.
2007-05-29 15:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't say it now. You have to call her on it at the time. Don't let her get away with it though. If she can be rude enough to say it you can be rude enough to call her on it. She also needs to know you will or this could get to be a habit and you will want to start avoiding her and that can cause problems with your boyfriend.
2007-05-29 15:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by beth l 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. He's not your husband (yet?). Even if he was. She has a right to think what she wants. Don't let it bother you and don't hold it against her. She obviously said it to get a rise out of you. Don't sink to her level. She may be your mother-in-law at some point, don't start off on that bad foot.
2007-05-29 15:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by LittleFreedom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
RUN...nothing worse than a son dominated by his mother....it will only end in a bad way....trust me...been down that road!! She has no right to degrade you like that.....she is insecure and pissed her son probably adores you!!! Ha ha...I would smile and wink just to break her ^%$^$$!!
2007-06-01 17:16:00 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did she say it to hurt you or was it something that she probably regrets saying. i will assume here that she and you are friendly to one another(since you and she were alone in one room talking) and that she didnt mean it. if you feel offended and think she meant to call you fat then talk to her about it.
2007-05-29 15:40:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No don't bother, no matter what you say, she'll deny it and try to talk herself out of it. And you know what? No matter what you say to her, she won't change. People don't change over night, it takes years upon years. Just make sure your boyfriend didn't inherit her rudeness! (it doesn't sound like he did, but be sure!)
2007-05-29 15:28:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, she obviously dominates her son, that's why he didn't say anything. He is probably the type of guy who lets most people walk all over him, and if you like to dominate, then he's the man for you. If you like a man to protect you, stand up for you , then he's never going to fill the bill sweetie.
2007-05-29 15:18:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋