I have a friend who is really hurting inside and I am not sure how to help her.?

Question

She has a history of depression but it has been a long time since she has been this low. When a person wants to be hit by a bus it is serious. I am going to let her read your answers.

She wants her strength back. She wants to let go of the past. She wants to stop crying. She wants to stop hurting.

My friend is NOT religious but she is spiritual. She does not want bible verses, PLEASE.

What would you say to her? Is there a miracle cure?

She is on anti-depressants. Welbutrin.

Answer 1

Depression's a tough thing to deal with on a day to day basis. You don't want to get out of bed, just sleep all day and rot away, and that's never really that fun. Getting hit by a bus won't take away the depression, you'll probably just end up breaking a few bones and being pissed that you even tried.

Medication is an option, but easier and cheaper options would be to try and get a good night's rest and have healthier eating habits. Whenever I feel depressed, I like to listen to music, just lay down and be by myself to think.

When you say "she wants to let go of the past", that sounds like something really serious. It might be worth talking to a therapist about if you have the time or money. Something that helps me is writing in a little notebook or diary when I feel depressed, just writing my thoughts and stuff like that. This way, you can look back on it and see what things you can change about the way you feel, or you can just get the thoughts off your chest in general. Best of luck to your friend!

Answer 2

There is really too little information given to be able to say anything that'll make a difference. How old is she? You said she has a history. Has she gotten professional help in the past? Did something happen, end of a relationship, loss of job, death of someone she loves, what? Is she already on medication? Look Depression is not something to mess around with. Some people just need to be listened to without trying to fix them. Others need medical help. There is no miracle cure, but there is a cure. If her depression is not caused by a chemical imbalance, then perhaps a new perspective is all she needs. You won't find in answer in a short paragraph. I'd be glad to talk to her. Try emailing me.

Answer 3

there is hope but it does not take the form of a miracle cure.
First she needs to know that every life is precious and a gift from God. There will be times when answers will not be easily seen, but as experience dictates, patience opens doors. She needs to open up and try to talk to God. She should NOT be coerced to though. Time is, in some cases, a tool for God to heal. The first step in this process is for her to ask forgiveness and for her to forgive. In most cases of lingering pain, there is unresolved bitterness twards someone else. I know.
This is just a guess,though.
Whatever the actual source, walking in front of a bus is not going to solve anything. In fact, for those around her, it will make things much worse in many ways. Remember that the past is the past and God can wipe the slate clean, no matter what has transpired. Remember also that most of the time, people are people and will make mistakes. With God, however, she can write a bright future if she gives it a chance. Things don't come easy, but what she may want, may make her more miserable, or they may require work. Regardless, she needs to test her feelings and desires to see if they are really for her or an illusion.

Answer 4

If the Wellbutrin is not helping, her doctor needs to be informed. Some antidepressants can have the opposite effect and make depression worse in some age groups. Her feelings are valid and she should probably not be left alone. Talking can sometimes help but when you feel that low it can be a chore to talk. It helps when someone listens and seems to truly understand where you are coming from. For feelings this serious I strongly encourage you to help her contact her doctor immediately. Her life may depend on it. Good luck and I will say a prayer for your friend.

Answer 5

I've probably felt a lot of what your friend is feeling. If she isn't seeing a therapist then she needs to...and probably needs medication. I suffered from severe depression for many years...I won't go into things here but I can empathize with her wanting to be hit by a bus. Therapy and meds made a HUGE difference...but to be honest with you once I let go of my lingering feelings of wanting to be a christian, I was slowly able to get off of my meds. I have been med free for almost 2 years and it's been 8 months since I last talked with my therapist. I wish all the best for your friend and will also say that she is very lucky to have you.
(((((your friend)))))

PLEASE don't let her read some of the asshole responses to this question.....

Answer 6

The standard therapies are (1) increase physical activity (yes, exercise - and frankly, if she's already doing "some", maybe she just needs to do it earlier in the day. doing it right before bedtime is wasting the attitude adjusting effects on her sleep) (2) talk therapy and finally (3) anti-depressants. If she's pretty sure about the depression and it's severe maybe she can just jump to that last step but she'll be on them forever unless she does at least step 1.

As to what I would do, I would probably help make sure she hits the gym - go with her, chat it up on the treadmill or something.

Answer 7

Has she tried anti-depressant meds? If not, try them and get them from your doctor. Not all medicines will work the first time. Sometimes you will need to try different ones. Talk to your doctor about the ones that affect your kidneys and other organs. Cymbalta works well, and is safe.

Try exercising and and changing your diet. Eat more fruit and vegtables, and yogurt. Drink 8 glasses of water a day. Changing your diet will help improve depression, along with taking your medicine. (To me it helped the medicine work a little better.)

Most of all, talk to your doctor and tell him how long you have been depressed and feeling this way.

Just remember depression can kill you!

Answer 8

The best thing I can say is that you should encourage her to talk about how she's feeling, and tell her to not keep all those feelings inside -- and, most importantly, be there for her and listen to her. That may seem pretty simple but it really goes a long way. I also suffer from depression, and I can tell you that talking really does help. Maybe it doesn't erase all my problems automatically, but if I'm with someone who's giving me the opportunity to talk and honestly, sincerely listening to me, like I said, it really does go a long way. Be there for her; it sounds like you're doing that already, but just keep doing that. I wish you and her the best.

Answer 9

No miracle cures - and the ones that exist are not great.

But she does need professional help. It could be that this is just a fixable neurotransmitter imbalance. I hope it's something that the modern reuptake inhibitors can do something about - for some people they can be nearly miraculous.

Trying to fix this with cheery messages is like curing diarrhoea with a cork. Get to a doctor, counsellor or psych - soon.

CD

Answer 10

All I can say is what I tell myself everyday. I have made some awful mistakes in my life, but all I can do now is either learn from them or make them again. It doesn't do anyone any good to dwell on things that can't be changed. But, by forgiving myself and trying to make better choices from now on, I am a stronger person for it. By letting go of guilt and forgiving yourself, you are getting rid of the hurt and making room for happiness. Mistakes are just lessons learned.

It really sounds like she needs to seek help though. Just talking to someone who understands (like a therapist or a really good friend) can work wonders.