Why have children?

Question

I just dont understand. I am a 19 year old boy from NY. And as I think I am aware, people who do not have children often have:
1. more money
2. more time
3. more relaxation
4. more time alone or with marrege partner
5. no overwheling responsibiltys
6. not having inconvenced by the babys or coinstastant hard work to raise them
and a lot more. So why?

Answer 1

Why do anything, then? People who only go to work, then go home, read library books, eat raw vegetables then go to bed often have:
1. more money
2. more time
3. more relaxation
4. more time alone or with marriage partner
5. no overwhelming responsibilities
6. not inconvenienced by anything related to doing anything at all

Their lives are pretty boring, though.


It's fun having kids. It's exciting. It's challenging. In the case of my marriage, it brings us closer together as we work to meet what each new day brings.

Money... You can't take it with you.
Time... Why not do something you enjoy with that time?
Relaxation... Nothing more relaxing than holding your sleeping baby
Time alone... How lonely
Time with marriage partner... We do spend time together - parenting (and otherwise)
No responsibilities... That was fun when I was a teenager
No challenges & hard work... Safe, but empty life

All that said - if you don't want kids, if you don't think that this is the kind of responsibility you want to take on or the kind of challenges you want to meet in your life, then don't do it. There are so many other fun, challenging, fulfilling things to do that don't involve creating a whole person. You really shouldn't take it on if your heart's not into it.

Answer 2

You are definitely young but you make a very valid point. What happens is you fall in love and suddenly your priorities change. You begin to feel settled in your job and want to be married. So you do this. then comes a big house which is a dream for some. Then you decide to have a family. All your other friends begin having kids and your wife suddenly gets the urge to have a baby. you decide that you'd like to have a son or daughter to raise, teach how to ride a bike, play games with, etc. You fall in love with your kids and can't believe life without them. And they'll see you as the greatest thing ever. So all the other crap that you listed, doesn't mean much in the long run. you'll see.

Answer 3

All those items on your list show things that really, only a sefish person would want.
Seeing as parents aren't selfish, I think that the answer is there.

And the love and enhancement a child brings to your life is worth more than any amount of money, time to relax or not having responsibilites...

When you mature a little more, you will understand.

Answer 4

Yeah, at 19 I thought the same way you do. I lived up my twenties. But at 28, I found myself thinking differently. May be the same with you.

Answer 5

If you don't want kids don't have them, raise dogs or something instead. Because your right you have to give up things for your kids, I had 4 ( all grown now ) but you know what I'd do it all over again in a heart beat, they were and are still worth it.

Answer 6

I NEVER wanted children - knew I didn't want kids when I was just a young child.

But it hit me at 25 - I wanted a baby!!!! Two even!!! lol

Things can change when you grow up, never know what will happen.

Answer 7

I agree from your prospective being a 19 year old, naive kid.

Though you'll change your mind in a few years, but learn how to spell first.

Answer 8

the good always out ways the bad. no matter how tired, broke, or overwhelmed you are it doesn't matter when your child comes up to you and looks you in the eyes and says "i love you mommy" and gives you a great big hug and kiss. it is all worth it. your heart just melts.

Answer 9

I have children becuase I wanted to have more in mylife, yes I have a husband, but having kids just makes my marriage even more speacial.

Answer 10

i would have to say, because most of those things are just temporary for one thing! the only one that is worth anything at all is time along with spouse. but you can still have that with kids. i want my life to be worth something, and my kids are worth everything!