Do you think it's okay to let your baby cry at night?

Question

I've had my first baby and she is only a month old. She is waking up every 2 hours or so! When I told my in-laws about her sleeping hapits, they told me to let her cry for 20-30 minutes and tire herself out!!! I could never do that! It hurts my heart to hear her crying because I know she needs me!!! I know there are many people who let their babies cry sometimes when they wake up, but I want to know what everyone thinks.

Answer 1

I do that to a extent..but NOT 20-30 min of him crying alone.. I did this with my other two babies too.

I know if he's been changed ..Fed..Burped..Within 30 min and he's crying He wants to be held,But night time is time for sleeping..so I will let him cry for about 5 min,And I'll go in his room pat his back, sing to him a little but I wont pick him up just yet.

He quiets down and I go into my room...If he starts crying again..I wait a little bit longer like 7 min and go in pat his back for 7 min shoosh him..and just reassure him I am there..He quiets down again.Till he falls asleep and stays asleep.

other wise, you could try white noises when they wake up.. if the baby isnt hungry but just waking him/herself up. Try putting a radio on in there room and put it between stations so it's that fuzzy sound.It's comforting to them for some reason.

so is the vacume, But I don;t think your husand /Significant other would Like you vacuming All hours of the night :)

Answer 2

Congratulations on your new baby. No, you absolutely do not let a newborn cry under any circumstances. The only way you can know that she ''doesn't need anything'' is when she's not crying! If she's crying, *she needs something.* Just because she doesn't need a feed or a change doesn't mean she doesn't need anything. She has been curled up inside you for *9 months*. She needs YOU. She needs to be close to you and know that mommy will go to her whenever she needs her. The fussiness is normal... she's a newborn; still figuring the world out and she needs YOU to be there and comfort her. So no... you never, ever let a newborn baby cry because if they're crying, they need something. They do NOT cry for no reason. How did it even enter your head to let a tiny baby cry? She's helpless; you are all she has in this world. Don't let her start life being scared and stressed because nobody is tending to her needs.

Answer 3

I know exactly where you're coming from! My mom keeps trying to tell me to do that, too. My baby is only 3 1/2 weeks old! I told her that when she cries, it's because she needs something. She's not nearly old enough to be manipulative yet. I can't justify letting her cry for more than 5 minutes. In that time, if she hasn't calmed herself down, she's not going to. Usually if she doesn't stop crying within 1-2 minutes, all she does is get more hysterical.

Last night I was driving her home from a friend's house and she screamed almost the entire time. It hurt me so bad to listen to her - I wanted to cry too! I can't imagine anyone willingly letting their child cry like that at such a young age.

Keep doing what you're doing. Waking up every 2 hours is perfectly normal for such a small baby. My daughter does the same thing some nights (some times we're lucky enough to get one stretch of 4 hours, but usually she's up every 2-3). Don't listen to advice that you think is bad - and don't let them make you feel bad for ignoring them!

Answer 4

My Dr. said not to do the Cry-it-out method until the baby is able to sleep at least 5 hours straight through the night. For us, our son was 5 1/2 months old. It worked very well for us. He slept through the night since the first day that we tried it.

My best friend has a son the same age as mine (20-months). She never lets him cry, and actually is still getting up with him in the middle of the night. She has depression because of it, and I can understand why! I am so glad we did the Dr. Ferber method.

Answer 5

First of all, do your in-laws know that it is normal for a 1 month old to wake every 2 hours? Secondly, it depends on the situation. When my daughter was a baby, there were times when I was so frustrated that I had to put her in her crib and just let her cry before I lost it. I knew that as long as I heard her crying, she was still alive, and as soon as I had a minute to calm down, then I would go back and get her. But it sounds like you are not experiencing colic, just normal baby wakes up and has a need. As long as you are in control of your emotions, then I think you need to do what feels right to you.

Answer 6

Congrats on the new baby. I have read of but have never practiced the cry it out aka Ferber method. At a month old all a baby knows how to do is cry that's her only form of communication. I have read that this method is to only be used once the baby is at least 4-6 months. I don't know much about it but here is a site that may help. This is your baby YOU need to do what you feel is right and if you don't want to let them cry then by all means don't. Don't let your family pressure you into raising your child their way instead of yours.

Answer 7

I know its exhausting at first. But they do wake up every 2-3 hours at first.. my son is 6 and 1/2 months old now.. But he was not a great sleeper when he was that age and woke every 2 hours also.. It was exhausting.. I spoke to Tresillian and they assured me that this was normal.

To let her cry for that amount of time at 4 weeks is way way too long.. i don't even let my son cry that long now.. I think you should do what feels right and i know its easy to doubt yourself but trust your gut feeling..

I did find out that my baby was also hungry and i did not have enough breast milk to satisfy him and that's why he was waking so frequently.. Talk to your paediatrician if you have one or if your breastfeeding try formula for one night and see if it makes a difference to her sleeping.. she may just be hungry ..

I hope this is some help and good luck .. It does get easier..

Answer 8

not for a 2 month old. when they are older it is ok for them to cry for a little, but i have never just let my kids cry until they stop. give it a few more months at least. she will eventually get on her own schedule. my daughter was sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. my son is 7 months old and he still wakes up 3-4 times a night. every child is different. good luck!

Answer 9

I can tell you from experience that the "cry-out" thing doesn't work. It's emotionally stressful for your baby and they probably need something or they wouldn't be crying.
With my oldest son, I let him cry because I was a new mom, and listened to what other people said was best for him. My first son was not a happy baby. He cried all the time and it wasn't only traumatizing for him, it hurt me, too.
With my second son, if he cried I fed him, changed him, played with him, or whatever it seemed that he needed at the moment. He was much more laid back and happy and I was amazed at how much fun a baby can actually be.
We have the reaction we do to our baby crying because we know they need something. Its not just a way of thinking, I believe its a mother's instinct.

Answer 10

no, she is too young.
their has to be a reason for why she is doing this.
if ntohing appears to be wrong, then check if she is colicky.
maybe after she is like 1 yr old then u can let her cry for like 10 mins atmost.
did u know that a baby that young who doesn't get what she needs can get brain damage?

ur in-laws are idiots i'm sorry to say but its the truth.
a month old cannot tire herself out.
she will just get a headache and be very upset.
and guess what! maybe she isn't getting enough food!
feed her, if u are too busy to feed her and change her when she needs it, u should give the child up for adoption right away!

sorry for yelling lol, but u cannot spoil a newborn
its impossible.
they just need u, its not like they can talk to say they want attention or that they understand that u are saying its time to go to sleep, they just know that when they are hungry, hot, cold, or need a diaper change, they cry and get mom.
they don't know what else to do.
they dpon't even know what attention is lol.
they want to be with u, cuddle, it won't hurt, sometimes a baby might need a little spoiling but as soon as the baby starts to understand..... u can say "no, its time to go to sleep, no play or cuddle time"
but for now, they need some cuddling, check out if something is wrong and after that its ok to cry for maybe a few mins

Answer 11

as far I knew babies that young still feed in the middle of the night. Many people say that babies can never be too spoiled. I believe its true up to a certain point, its ok to get up with the baby, cuddle her, see if she's hungry, and if u keep it dark and don't give any overstimulation she'll probably go back to sleep soon. I would definitely not just ignore her, she's too young for that yet