We've talked and have been interested in eachother for a very long time, but since we've started dating, he has this philosophy of the girl paying for her own dinner/movie tickets etc.. He's 21, junior in college and very well off, weahlthy family..me, not so much..more like struggling to pay my way. It's only getting worse..Once, he invited me to see a movie with him and then was upset that I didn't have cash on me to pay for my own ticket..he covered it and then said, "well..next week you owe me a movie"
This happens on several occasions and it's obviously not acceptable..at his age, do you think he could be changed if I only talk to him? Friends of ours notice too and think the same,
2007-05-29 11:45:09 · 25 answers · asked by Anna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He might be testing you, If you put up with it it would show him you care about him not his money.
2007-05-29 11:49:31 · answer #1 · answered by Earth to Mars 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a bit old fashioned in that respect. I feel that the man needs to court the woman, and that means paying, at least at first, really for the first year. It will only get worse as the relationship progresses. He will not want to pay for anything for you and probably not get you presents on special occasions, like your birthday and valentines day. I say drop him. You obviously want to feel like the man is pursuing you, and he isn't making you feel special.
I mean there are woman out there who want to pay their own way, and that's fine. And after you have been in the relationship for a long time then it's appropriate for you to swap paying for dinner and movies and stuff. My husband would look at me like I had 2 heads if I offered even the tip after dinner or to buy him a beer when we were at the bar for the first 2 years we were together.
This isn't the man for you. And no, he can't be changed. Why would you want someone that could be changed anyway, it shows weak character.
2007-05-29 11:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're only dating him for the $$$.
Remember, if he is as well off as you say he is, he's probably just testing girls to see what they're all about. Maybe he's just a cheap bastard.
Does he spend money on himself quite a bit?
You're a girl, guys are a dime a dozen (Though so are chicks to some guys) so just move on, why sweat it?
If he asks, tell him he is too cheap for your liking.
Traditionally, guys are expected to pick up the tab, however, this has changed a lot in a world where woman are equal to men.
2007-05-29 11:50:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hmmmmm...apparently HE thinks money IS everything.... and has a problem spending it! .I think it's just common courtesy and kinda "courting" 'scuse the old school expression, for a man to pay... if he can, and particularly if HE HAS money and I don't.... My prediction is that, if ya'll stay together, money will become an issue, because he seems caught up already....
If he's a new b/f.. I'd dump him LOL... call me shallow, but nope, avoid future problems. LOL
2007-05-29 11:52:21 · answer #4 · answered by ™Tootsie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True money doesn't matter but by him saying stuff like this he's saying twenty bucks is more important to you.
Its still early on in your relationship if i were you i'd get out now and not invest anything more in the relationship.
If he's being like this now, just wait till you've been together awhile. Believe me it'll only get worse.
2007-05-29 11:49:33 · answer #5 · answered by sunshinegirl802 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the boy should always offer to pay.
Its the girls choice to let him or not,
but I do think the girl should take initiative and pay at least for herself once in awhile.
I think you should talk to him, though I dont know how the conversation would go
"I think you should spend more money on me" haha you know?
But im totally with you on that.
2007-05-29 11:49:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, actually, you are probably going to run into a lot of guys that feel a girl should pay her own way. Apparently quite a number of the younger generation have been exposed to wrong information when it comes to the "women's right's movement"...or are being brought up by bitter, divorced dad's who teach them that all women are looking to do is take advantage of them - so they combat it by demanding a woman act equal by paying her own way...
you have been brought up to believe a man should pay for everything....so the two of you aren't compatible....I seriously doubt talking to him is going to change his views.
2007-05-29 11:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out when he invites you if it is his treat; if not and you cannot afford to go, say so. And cheap guys don't get privileges. When you are both students, then it is fair to sometimes pay your own way; not always. And be sure to treat him to his movie you "owe" him. Sometimes wealthy people are the cheapest; that's how they keep their wealth.
2007-05-29 11:52:21 · answer #8 · answered by M S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept the fact that this guy is just tight with money. That's the way it is and he is unlikely to change as the relationship matures. Decide whether or not you can live with that. If not, it's time to move on!
2007-05-29 11:49:25 · answer #9 · answered by dct14300 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him? About him being cheap. I don't think that's going to work. Sounds like he's a bit uptight about money. I think you should either accept it as is or move on to find someone that will take you out.
2007-05-29 11:48:32 · answer #10 · answered by Holiday 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be one of two things:
A. he's a cheap jerk and you should totally drop him
or
B. he really is wealthy and wants to make sure his gf likes him for him and not his wallet
u know it's A if he's cheap when it doesn't come to money. Cheap with his time, his friends, his thoughts, etc. If it's B, he'll be generous in everything but money. He might even hate money. Figure out which one it is and proceed accordingly...
2007-05-29 11:48:39 · answer #11 · answered by VistaCove 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋