me and my bf are getting married in 3 months and we wanted to adopt a baby even tho both our familys are against it....and we adopted twins but nobody else knows about it...i know we have to tell them sometime but how do we tell them without them getting even madder for doing it before we told them? plz help?!?!?
2007-05-29 10:28:47 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adoption
Grow up. It's your life now and not your parents. If they want to see you and the grandchildren, they'll cope.
2007-05-29 10:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Zeltar 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
While adoption may take some time, how long did it take you to adopt them? how old are you? you need to be at least a certain age to adopt and qualify in income?
Both your families have no right as to what your decitions are. But you should of told them before you adopted or as soon as possible, Apparently you dont visit family as often anyways since you have already adopted and they have no idea. I hope you are both happy with your decition if it is infact true.
Well, Your question about your sister having twins* what can I say now your question is even harder to believe, or you went off in adopting twins so your sister wouldnt have all the glory, By the way I would like daniel and daniela for twins name!
2007-05-29 10:35:50 · answer #2 · answered by Roxy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a story to me. For a few diferent reasons. You don't sound old enough to adopt. Some states allow unmarried people to adopt but they must have been together for quite a few years. It cost lots and lots of money to adopt. And I find it unlikely that your family wouldn"t know as in the adoption process they ask for so many references and even if they didn't talk to your parents then I am sure another family member or friend would have told them. And if you are mature enough to adopt then you would not have hid this from your parents. You don't need their approval or permission but telling them in advance is the adult thing to do.
2007-05-30 02:47:17 · answer #3 · answered by Molly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How did you pass the adoption screening when you're families weren't questioned? The adoption process is long and hard and not something you can just sneak over to Reno to do on a whim.
I don't think you're telling the truth.
If you are, then first thing you'd better get some counseling because you have issues if you can't tell your families you've secretly adopted twins.
2007-05-29 10:35:50 · answer #4 · answered by imamom4god 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Adoption is a wonderful thing. you are a great person for doing so and don't let your family make you feel as if you have done soemthing wrong. Just tell them you and the kids needed time to adjust before you dealt with the impending anger you knew was coming. Always remember this is about what is best for you and those kids not what your family wants.
2007-05-29 10:35:09 · answer #5 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you already adopted them so it doesn't matter what happens now. The only thing thaou can do is explain to them the situation and why you adopted. If they are upset by this then that's their problem. If you and your boyfriend love each other and believe that you can take care of your new son/daughter then that is all that matters. If they are really your family then they will still love you no matter what.
2007-05-29 10:45:50 · answer #6 · answered by Alex H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been deemed mature enough to adopt yet you aren't mature enough to tell your families "nuts to you lot, it's our choice"? Wow.... where do you live?
Here's what I'd do. Tell them, then tell them to get over it and be apart of your new family's life or be bitter and angry at you and have no part in it. You've chosen to adopt children, you shouldn't make those children face a resentful bunch of your relatives growing up. Might sound harsh and tough to do, but that is the best thing for your new children.
Best of luck to you, your future husband, and your children.
*mutters* Who the heck in this world is 'against' adoption anyways .... ?
2007-05-29 14:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, for some reason I find this post very difficult to believe. Adoption is a long process, usually requiring letters of reference from friends and family during the homestudy. Also, not that many states allow unmarried couples to adopt jointly. Lastly, adoptive parents tend to be somewhat well educated and your writing suggests...otherwise.
How on Earth did you manage to secretly adopt twins?
2007-05-29 10:35:13 · answer #8 · answered by ladybmw1218 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just making up stories. There are so many red flags here. It is very rare to adopt twins, and two unmarried people cannot adopt together. It is even rare for one single to adopt. No one who had to go through the adoption process would ever try to keep it from anyone. You wouldn't even pass the homestudy if you were as immature as you seem to be. And judging by your grammer and manner of speaking, you aren't even engaged. Nice try, but you're full of crap. Please go to some other board to troll. Don't do it here.
2007-05-29 16:46:46 · answer #9 · answered by greensock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people don't like the idea of adoption because they want the children to be of their blood. However, you'd be surprised how people's feelings change when they see a child. I think the best thing to do is just walk in with the children at the next family event and say "surprise!" I'm sure they will welcome your children and eventually love them just like they would any other grandchild.
2007-05-29 12:12:51 · answer #10 · answered by jjodom1010 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow .. I am surprised you got to adopt without being married .. normally a "couple" cant adopt with no ties ..
I have friends that were single and got turned down, then got married and had their own ...
I guess take the babies for a visit! Introduction first hand .. what can they say?
Good Luck
2007-05-29 10:32:41 · answer #11 · answered by lovin_2beme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋