There is this guy that I have been seeing for a few weeks now... we went to high school together and met up a few weeks ago...its been about 3 years since I've seen him and we instantly hit it off... we exchanged numbers and he texts me every once in a while. We've seen each other the past 2 saturdays in a row - he initiated it.. when he's around me he holds my hand and kisses me and cuddles with me... so then one day I text him and said "so when are you gonna ask me out on a date ;)" you know, all cute and stuff.. and he says "I don't do the dating thing, whats wrong with just hanging out?" I'm so confused... is this a sign that he doesn't like me? Should I move on.... or act less interested cuz it appears that he is less interested.? Please help!
2007-05-29 08:41:18 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's probably been burned in the past. Or he's interested in you, but wants to keep his options open. Or both. Be patient, eventually he'll want a relationship. Or not. Eventually you'll know.
2007-05-29 08:45:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think honesty is always best. You should talk to him about it. Don't put any pressure on the outcome. Just let him know that you have an interest but no expectations. You don't want to ruin a friendship either. Just let him know what you are thinking and he'll do the rest. Then at least, you will both know where you stand and you can be friends or otherwise. Just don't wait too long. You obviuosly have already begun to invest in it and he may not feel the same way. Get it out in the open...
2007-05-29 08:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by jwsou812 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like a matter of prospective. You think of a "Date" as dinner and a movie, but maybe for this guy hanging out with a group of friends at the mall is better. The main thing is to spend time together as friends, let it develop naturally. Movies at his house might be the next step in the "date" process. Have fun be safe, and don't put too much pressure on him by calling time together, a "date."
Good luck!
2007-05-29 08:47:14 · answer #3 · answered by scottydtw 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's an odd answer Ill grant you. It could mean a number of things. Does he have a job? Maybe he doesnt want to spend money to go out. Cheap isnt necessarily bad, but Id be cautious
It could also be a sign that he's committment-phobic. In his mind, once it goes from "hanging-out" to "dating" then a line has been crossed.
It could be he just wants to ramp up the physical aspect and doesnt want to go out.
Whatever the answer is, Id be wary. If you mean anything to him, he should be willing and proud to take you out!
2007-05-29 08:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Moderates Unite! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a sign about liking you. It's a sign he's a non-committal guy. He doesn't want the commitment. It's like borrowing a car that you like, but don't want to own. Don't be confused. He's not ready to have a relationship, but most likely wants the physical aspect of being with you. If you're ready for a real relationship, it's best that you move on and consider a guy who's ready to be with you, but MOVE SLOWLY. In my opinion, ask him one more time, see what he says, and then be prepared to move on.
2007-05-29 08:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is moreso afraid of commitment... not that he just wants to "hook up" with you. My best friend is going through the same thing, where the guy just will not open up... will not commit to anything and is afraid to go past the "dating" aspect of the relationship. It's a fear of trusting someone, and most guys are too macho to admit that they have this fear. It's a frustrating subject, and it sucks having to deal with it...
But if you've shown him that you're dedicated to him, give him some time... he needs to come around. But if he doesn't, then you need to move on and give yourself more credit. Find someone who can commit to you, if that's what you really want.
2007-05-29 08:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by joedudez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging out = sex. This guy wants fun and isnt gonna commit to a relationship. If your ok with that then fine but chances are your probably gonna get hurt in the end because it sounds like you have feelings for him. Move on.
2007-05-29 08:47:11 · answer #7 · answered by Widgi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you may be rushing things out..just because you know him for ever doesn't mean you are going to get marry ok. Another thign may be that you are just a cuddlying thing and that's it. either way, git it more time, you've only seen eachother (consistently) twoo weekends, I think you put him on the spot with the question, if you wanted a date simply ask him "lets go to_____" or "hey lets catch a flick" or "meet me in____"
if you are nothign but a cuddly thing to him he will find ever excuse in the book ever invented ( he must have been one of my clients lol )you'll know when he is using you when he becomes unable to be seen with oyou in public, yet he is ready to text you 24/7 and come to your house! ( if you are in lust...I guess enjoy while it last)
2007-05-29 08:48:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jeenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dunno it kinda seems like he has the wrong idea on the whole dating thing. either that or maybe he just doesn't want to get any more serious than you are now (just being very friendly.)i dont think you should act less interested but just take it slow. It doesnt seem like you have been at this point for a very long time so keep things the way they are now and it will most likely get better.
good luck
~matt
2007-05-29 08:46:58 · answer #9 · answered by AudiSpeed4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me like he's just tryna get some, typical 'hold ur hand and act all sweet' routiene, but if you wanna really figure out if thats all he wants, hang aruound him for a while more and if he asks you to sleep with him, deny him and see if he wants to still hang out after that, deny him a couple of times and he's still around, then he wants YOU, not sex
2007-05-29 08:59:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋