Posted: Fri May 25, 2007 5:55 am Post subject: AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing
In on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time Stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEAR a Christian"?
"Very Well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."
2007-05-29 06:19:28 · 28 answers · asked by sissy k 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
rockin joke. don't you love how dork idiots act like they have heard every joke in the book and the only"funny" jokes are the ones they tell. pfffttt!!!lol anyways sissy k, i got my eye on you and am ready to back you up. i mght just go bomb that idiot.
2007-05-29 08:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by rockstarhooligan 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
An atheist was out on the lake rowing his boat..
Suddenly from beneath him a large spaghetti monster struck his boat and tossed it high above the sea.. the monster then opened it's jaws wide and prepared to swallow him in one gulp...
In between the atheist cried "God, Help Me" Suddenly time stopped and God spoke to him. I thought you always said you don't believe in me".. The atheist replied, "God, give me a break, 2 minutes ago i didn't believe in the spaghetti monster either."
2007-05-29 06:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by Redeemed 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I always thought the one were the Christian is abducted by the alien was funnier and not so over done. Seriously this is an old joke, not very funny any more.
2007-05-29 06:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Heard it a hundred times. I'm sure it makes Christians feel good, but it doesn't change an atheists mind at all.
2007-05-29 06:24:24 · answer #4 · answered by mommanuke 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I like the Bigfoot one. The sky voice says "I thought you didn't believe in me?" "well five seconds ago I didn't believe in Bigfoot either!"
and you can continue on to the second punch line too.
2007-05-29 06:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Let's see - this is posted at least 3 times a week. Boring.
2007-05-29 06:22:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
What a stinging indictment against Christians,comparing them to a marauding bear!You are one of those "militant"atheists,huh?
2007-05-29 06:26:29 · answer #7 · answered by nobodinoze 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
LM FUNDIE AO!
Thanks for the smile!
2007-05-29 06:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by Soundtrack to a Nightmare 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you people are going to repeat the same jokes over and over make it a funny one.
2007-05-29 06:23:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
I'm not sure if it was meant to be offense towards atheists or christians. but simply crying out 'oh my god' is not a prayer though.
2007-05-29 06:22:54 · answer #10 · answered by Low Rain 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋