My ex likes my BFF, what do i do?

Question

About three months ago my bf and i broke up, we didn't talk much after because it was a bit awkward. We recently started talking again to eachother with out it being weird, we actually became close again and it was great. Thing is i haven't gotten over him and he started to confide in me and told me one day that he wanted to say something, but he had hoped that he'd tell my bff first then have her tell me, he then told me that he had started developing feelings for her. They go to the same school but he said he always only saw her as a little sister, he's a year older than my bff and I, also he told me he loved me three months exactly the day he confsed about his feelings for my bff. That hurt a lot. I told him also that i was okay with him having feelings for my bff, and he also doesn't know i still like him. I have to admit i feel jealousy twords my bff because she likes him, but i can't hate him because, i can't seem to get over him. I don't know what to do, it hurts =(

FWI people my bff doesn't like him she's in love with someone else

Answer 1

Well you obviously care about your ex, and your bff too. So really the best thing that you can do is to be honest with both of them. Tell your ex that you still have feelings for him but that you realize that he has feeling for your bff now but that you just wanted to keep everything out in the open. He'll appreciate your honesty and if nothing else, you two will be closer as friends.

And for your bff, tell her that you would always want her to be happy and that you'd do anything for her because you love her. And its because you're so close that you want to tell her that you still have feelings for your ex too. But that whatever happens you will still be there for her.

If they both really care about you, they'll understand. I hope it all works out for you. :-)

Answer 2

I know exactly what your going through. Sometimes life hurts. Maybe you miss your ex, and thats perfectly normal, and maybe your jelous of your bff which is also perfectly normal. When I was young, my first love dumped me for my bff. I was absolutely devestated. Still to this day, it hurts. But don't do what I did. Don't make this boy come between you and your friend. Be honest with her and tell her how you feel. On her part, she should understand your feelings and not hurt you by being with him. But on your part, you should understand that both of them need to be happy and if them being together is what they want, let them have it. Don't stray away from either of them. keep them close in your heart and tell them how you feel. Always remember, life is very hard and you will get heartbroken again. But once you get over this phase, you may meet someone new. Never let any man bring you down. Stay strong. Follow your dreams. Love yourself. Have faith. In the end, everything will be just fine. Every bad thing in life opens up new doors and teaches you a lesson. Boys hurt girls every day. Your not alone. Take this from a girl who lost her virginity to the love of her life two days ago after a year being with him and today he dumped me for another girl. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Answer 3

U see that's the problem with being friends after a break up. Gal, don't do that to urself! Find another way that will keep you away from him, something to distract you & keep you busy! be it joining gymnastics or what ever & while you on that, start seeing other people as well, go out, have fun but carry yourself with the same respect, & by the time you realise it, you will be over him, he will be as good as yesterday's lunch! And next time, don't do the whole friends thing with your ex! I mean there's a reason why he is ur ex RIGHT!

Answer 4

first of all, number one rule: friends never date their friends' exes!! It will always feel awkward no matter what! unless you approve of it, but obviously you don't! Don't try to hide your feelings, let it out! Let him know how you feel about him and the whole liking-ur-bff thing!! If she really is ur bff, she would not date him!! there's more girls out there for him to have interest in. And don't think of going back with him, he's not the last guy in this whole universe! Just knowing he likes your bff; you'll always have that jealousy.

Answer 5

Your biggest problem is that you haven't put your cards out on the table. You need to tell your ex if you have feelings for him. You've further complicated the matter by lying to him, by telling him that you're ok with him having feelings with your BFF because obviously, you're NOT ok with that.

You need to tell him how you feel about him. If the feeling is mutual, you can get back together. If it's not, you need to get out of the way for him and your BFF.

I know some of this is probably NOT what you want to hear, but it's true.

Answer 6

sweetheart, there isn't much you can do! being your bff makes it just that harder because now "the new flame" has a name and a face.. if she isn't in to him then just be thankful for small favors.. as lame as it sounds, time heals all wounds.. be assured that it will happen to you as well.. and maybe you shouldn't get in touch with him at all right now.. not untill you are completly over him. which means that you cvan not just handle the thought of him being with someone else, but that you can also see it without it hurting..

Answer 7

Sorry to her that try to go out meat other people. And sorry to tell you that I don't think your girl friend was a good friend because me and my friend we look at it like this guys come and go but not aware relationship that we have. Me and my best friend we known each other since elementary and we are 24yrs and you know what we have had guys that they have to play use at the same time and you know what is not worded the same way he did you that's the same way she will end up so don't wast your time cause your worded you don't need that in your life.

Answer 8

I think you should just be honest and tell him you still love him. However, do not become obsessive over him. Just be patient and wait things out. Be there for him and listen to him, maybe it will bring out any feelings he still has for you.

Seeing as your still in school, do not worry about it. You are young and the odds are he will not be that special one in your future anyways.

Answer 9

I think things like you're going through are just a part of life. i think you should just deal with it the best that you can. Your BF could also just be telling you this and acting like he is in order to make you feel bad depending on who hurt who first... but i wouldn't really know.

Answer 10

I think that you should stop talking to him. Now that its clear that he is no longer interested in you and you continue to be in love with him than its best to stop talking to him. You can still be friends, but distant friends, you know the hi and bi type of friendship?....If you continue to talk to him, it will be harder for you to get over him and you will continue holding on. Talking to him will give you hopes. let it go.