have been togather 6 years and have to kids. been through hell and back. but he has a verble and mently abussing problem. he says he don't meen the stuff he says, but after hearing the same mean things for 5 out of the 6 years. you start to believe what you hear. he says i'm to bitchie, but wouldn't u be when they can't say or be nice at all unless he is buzzed or messed up seems like the only time he is nice and acts like he loves me. i feel that if u can't like me sober than i don't want u to like me at all, that is being fake if u ask me!!! i've told him about he says he will change, but haven't really made any inprovements,but he is a excalent father!!
2007-05-29 05:24:03 · 20 answers · asked by mombomb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Go get yourself an education, learn to spell, get some job skills, and go create a career for yourself.
This guy is a loser and you need to build a way out of this mess.
Good luck.
2007-05-29 05:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first if all think of your children since they are the most susceptible to the internal conflicts within the family i think that the most important thing you two could do is to see a marriage counselor it may be a good idea for the both of you to see a psychologist because (now don't take this as an accusation) but although it may not seem evident to you some of the problem may be attributed to your own behavior it would not be a good thing for the sake of your children for you two to separate for it is hard for someone so young to deal with the issue of having divorced parents however the problems that come with the arguing and unrest within the family if there is no possible way for you two to get along, if this is the case then you should leave him but if your kids are over lets say 5 and you are going to separate don't leave them in the dark but it dont let the abuse continue that is the worst if there werent children involved id say leave him but since there are it makes it a very complicated issue
2007-05-29 12:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by jonny c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to get the kids and leave. He is setting such a bad example. NOBODY deserves to be treated like that and trust me it WILL have negative effect of the kids. Do you want your kids to think that this is how a realationship should be??? Staying is only hurting the kids worse than leaving is. I am not saying to leave him for good. Leave him with the understand that you guys can work on things AFTER he get some help. This is how physical abuse starts. Leave before it is too later. Please. I am sure you love your kids. Do what is best and get out!!!!!!
2007-05-29 13:41:32 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can some one who is verbally and mentally abusive to you unless he is "buzzed or messed up" be an excellent father?
If he was great before the kids and then turned on you, he will eventually turn on the kids. You need to get out and get the kids away from that behavior before they learn that it is ok to treat Mom like crap!
Kids need positive role models and good influences and he sounds like a horrible role model and influence. Get out and take the kids NOW!
2007-05-29 12:30:07 · answer #4 · answered by longhornfan1722 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you say he is an excellent father if he is abusing their mother?? You have alrready wasted too many years on this person (I won't call him a man)- you deserve better and so do your children. Get out of this relationship NOW-- you are robbing yourself and your children of a chance at a better life, as long as you stay there. No-one deserves to be mistreated, and drunk-messed up- sober- or whatever , is no excuse!!!
2007-05-29 12:34:11 · answer #5 · answered by wheezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can he be an excellent father by treating you the way he does and probably in front of the kids. Is your life better with or without him? What kind of a role model is he for his kids. Do you want your kids to grow up with the same traits as him? Develop your self esteem for your self and help your kids develop theirs too.
2007-05-29 12:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Cicada 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know that how he says things like that and you still been with him I know that he kept saying that I didnt mean too. and you said 5 out of 6 years he been saying this... I think you should not stay with him reason why!? Do you really believe he will change or fix this??? Do you really believe that he trying to make any improvements?? and belive it or not he been like this for 6 years so total of days for last 6 years are 2,190 days and he has all the chance to change and for last 2,190 days he hasn't change..
Believe me and it better off if you leave and he need to quit drinking .... I remember Did my wife before we got married and she told me it over.. I promised her before we got married I will not drink again.. And I kept that promise for 10 years and still counting and many of my friends offer me a drink and I told them no ... I would like soda or water or tea pls... nothing more...
You know how sad is that for him do keep on going for 2,190 dyas?? me 1 day... For me to truly in love with her and I would do anything for my wife.. and I am glad I did.. If I didn't We wouldn't be married for 10 years and had 3 kids age under 4 and 2 and 1 month...
2007-05-29 12:31:41 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. You and your kids deserve better. Don't stay with him because he's a great father--any great father would love the mother of his children and treat her with respect and admiration. Joint custody is an option, and it sounds like he'll be a better father without you around (meaning, if you're not around to yell at and be mean to, then it'll be better for your kids in the long run). When they're older, explain to them why we can't live with Daddy. Yes, he may manipulate the kids into being mad at you, but stick to your guns. You deserve to be with someone who treats you with respect.
2007-05-29 12:55:44 · answer #8 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 years and especially with 2 kids, it's definitely worth fighting for. You both need some time away from the kids to work out your issues. As a last resort, please try counseling before splitting up your family. Good luck to you :o)
2007-05-29 12:29:35 · answer #9 · answered by missylit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He can be an excellent father and a scumbag of a partner to you at the same time. Go back to school and get an education, then get the hell out. Hey! if nothing changes, nothing changes.
2007-05-29 12:28:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋