My 21 month old toddler is becoming demanding and uncooperative.?

Question

My son is 21 months old. His behaviour at home is generally good, but when we are at the grandparents or out to eat he becomes demanding and uncooperative. He follows grandma around screaming all the time but nothing she does seems to make him happy. One little 'NO!' from me (Momma) and he cries and freaks out. At dinner he points at the table like he wants something but nothing we give him makes him happy. He gets mad and throws his drink on the floor. It gets to the point that Daddy has to take him outside. I am consistent with my discipline and always follow through. This works at home, but not anywhere else.

PLEASE HELP!

I want to clarify that when I say 'AT DINNER' that I am referring to when we are out to eat in public. He does great during dinnertime at home.

Answer 1

You sound like you are doing everything right. It is just something that kids go through, and he will eventually get it. However, people only call this time the terrible two's, because they haven't experienced what they are like when they are three and four yet. lol.

Answer 2

Welcome to the terrible twos. He's going to be completely unreasonable for the next year or so.

It's not because you're doing anything wrong. It's about three things: 1) frustration 2) asserting independence 3) having strong emotions and not knowing how to deal with them.

What he wants is to be independent, and in control of himself. But he hasn't learned how yet. The best thing to do during this time is to be patient with him and try to teach him self-control. If he's having a tantrum, don't try to reason with him - it's already too late. Give him a safe place to cry it out and fully express himself, then when he's done, you can help him try to solve the problem.

It may be that it's happening at places other than home, he feels inspired by the different surroundings to try things and to push his boundaries. It may be both exciting and overwhelming and that's what's tipping him off. But it's good practice - you can't keep him home forever!

All you can do is cope the best you can. Good luck, and remember, this too shall pass.

Answer 3

Well they say Terrible two's and I remember having my daughter throw a fit at a restaurant where I had to leave and sit in the ca and wait for my food I had ordered.. The thing is this is a phase all kids go through at this age. Set firm limits. Try not to go out to eat when your child is tired or crabby it makes it MUCH worse!!! also Give your child instructions about how we sit nicely in the restaurant etc.. before you go in.. so they know what to expect. PLUS always bring small activities that are not noisy to keep them occupied at this age. Good luck!

Answer 4

You're already doing it. Consistant discipline.

The thing is, your little boy is getting close to age 2. This is the time that everything changes. The child is checking out his perimeters, seeing how far he can go, becoming more of an individual.

Do the best you can, and after while things will all turn around again.

Answer 5

well, I am not a mom, but I am an aunt. My nephew did this to my sister, and now my niece does it to her, and my niece is 6. They are testing you. It really is unfortunate but just another growing pain. I would leave him home with a sitter and go out to eat with out him, telling him when he can act nice then he can go, but we are not going to act ugly and be rewarded. As far as the asking for food and then not eating it, I see this with the little boy i watch and with a cousin, if you don't offer them choices, they will eventually eat what they have. I am not saying only give them one food, I am saying if they don't want what is for supper, then let them down, don't ruin your dinner by trying to force him to eat something. Later when he is hungry, no new options. Same dinner as before. This really works with the little boy i watch, I do offer him food i know he will eat, if he refuses, then I just put it away, later when he wants something to eat, he gets the same options, and he usually will eat. His parents tend to offer him what ever and throw away a lot of food. The cousin, well he is almost 5 and knows what buttons to push with grandma and mom. I will admit when he spent a few weeks at grandma's he became a very well behaved child and learned he needed to eat when it was time to eat, Mom and Dad show up to take him home and he went right back to throwing fits and acting up. They know who will give in. If you are the one that always follows through, he knows if dad is around he can get away with more because maybe dad takes up for him, or dad offers to handle the situation, until it is so out of control you have to leave. I will agree with people who say you are entering the terrible two's, he is finding his personallity, and the boundries with everyone. Does he go to daycare? I know that really helped with a friends child. Learning to play well with other children, was a tough lesson. I have seen bribery, and i do not agree with it. Especially if you are going from, "eat all of your supper and you can have cake" and changing it to, "just eat you hot dog and you can have cake" right there you have caved. I will say the stage will go on as long as you allow it. It sounds like you alone are doing a good job with it, that is why it only happens when you are not at home. He knows if there are others around he is going to be treated differently. As for the throwing a fit when you say NO, with tears, and what not, looking for attention, sympathy, and as long as you don't give it, you win.
Good Luck, i dont' know how much help i was, but i will say you as a mom are doing a great job.

Answer 6

Sounds like the terrible twos are starting. The only thing you can do is discipline him when he's exceptionally bad. Your lucky he's just doing that when I babysat my cousin when he was around that age he would bite people.

Answer 7

confident, it is not uncomplicated to hearken to on your daughter basically scream and scream over a cup. without berating you extra, the bottle could desire to have been taken away months in the past. yet with the aid of fact we desire to delight our young ones each and every from time to time, we throw warning to the wind and do what we are able to to lead them to satisfied.... (i comprehend I even have 3 childrens!) Please, be organization. in the journey that your son is taking from a cup basically effective then it somewhat is time to throw each and all of the bottles away. i could save one for the bedtime (yet basically on your son). grant your daughter some water out of a cup at bedtime and that's it. She shouldn't bypass to mattress with a bottle besides. She in all probability took the cup from the different boy with the aid of fact she became into being a bully (sorry--I remember while my twins could try this crap). So, she is able to drink from a cup--basically not prepared. do not supply in and don't supply her the different option than a cup.

Answer 8

Well terrible two's should answer that question. There will be more to come outbursts to come. Maybe he is just wanting that extra attention but it's really hard to know what they want when they can't speak yet. I don't know what to suggest, sounds like you are trying everthing I would.

Answer 9

You should take him outside right then and spank his tail so he will remember it the next time. If he does it again, then do it again. He will understand the pattern sooner than later if this happens.