She is completely taking over my child as in giving him foods i dont think he should be eating yet, telling me how she does things and getting annoyed because I do it differently, and refering to him as her son! Dont get me wrong, I am grateful for the help as Im back at work full time and feel guilty enough but jaysus she drives me crazy, any suggestions bar shooting her?
2007-05-29 05:17:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
hard feelings or not...you need to set her straight. She is simply the babysitter and needs to respect your wishes are far as how your son is raised. I give you credit for not going off on her when she referred to him as her son!
She needs to know that she can't do that. You need to be direct with her. If she can't accomodate, you should start looking for someone else to car for your baby.
Good luck!
2007-05-29 05:26:22 · answer #1 · answered by Just Me 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've realised that the most important thing with a babysitter/childminder is that they should be paid for the work they do. That way you can tell them what you want/don't want them to do. You can also fire them and find someone else - although god knows, that's a nightmare as well.
However, if she has started referring to your baby as HER son then, paid or unpaid, find someone else if she won't change. Remind her that you happen to be your baby's mother not her and that whilst you are grateful for her help, you can't go on with the situation as it is. Either she changes her attitude or you will be looking for someone else. You may need to talk to your manager to try to get some time to sort it or consider going part-time - though both these are dependent on your work place culture and actual work so may be totally unhelpful for you.
If you're in UK then if your child is with a registered childminder/nursery etc then you can claim some of the money you pay back in working family tax credits. Yes. I know it's a pain but it can work as well.
2007-05-29 12:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by Pema 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your child is going to feel torn between you...this person is completely undermining your authority and you should look for another babysitter. Sounds like whoever it is - possibly grandma is becoming a bit overzealous. Obviously loves your child which is great but it is not in your interests, your son's best interests or this relative for the situation to continue as it is. If she tries to undermine you and does not respect your wishes lay down the law and tell her you'll be finding someone else to look after your son.
Hope things work out for you.
2007-05-29 12:37:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly look into au-pairs or child minders then take this close relative for something to eat or drink away from both houses and remind them that although you love and respect them at the end of the day the child is yours and you decide what the child does and eats if you cant reach a common ground then try the above options be more assertive your in charge not them good luck
2007-05-29 12:36:49 · answer #4 · answered by golden 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG - how rude!
You're going to have to be completely honest. She may not even realise she's annoying you.
Sit down with her (maybe over a drink?) and say you'd like to review things and see how she's finding babysitting, and that you've got a couple of issues to discuss too.
Let her tell you how she is finding things first, then take the opportunity to praise what she does well. Once you've done that, just say ' there are a couple of things that I'd like to change' and tell her. If you are constructive about it she has no reason to get offended.
Don't feel like its a big deal - like I said, she probably doesn't even realise she's annoying you.
(If she needs a firmer hand, leave set foods for her to give your son. Make the meals up beforehand. Leave her a timetable of what to do and when. Tell her such and such a food made him poorly so not to give it again.)
If she gets annoyed with you for doing things different to her - just say to her - hang on a minute, this is MY child we are talking about and I make the decisions about what is best for him and I don't want to fall out with you but please don't tell me whats best for my son.
Good luck!
2007-05-29 12:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by princess 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry but she sounds a little mentally unstable to me. The question you ought to be asking is do you feel safe leaving your child in this persons care? Relative or not if my son was being cared for by someone that could not follow my instructions i would question who exactly required the care! Tell her how you want things done if she is unwilling to comply then don't ask her to look after your child!
2007-05-29 12:30:42 · answer #6 · answered by madass747 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A few points from experience:
1)Tell her not to get so obsesive over him, or to refer to him as her son.
2)Whenever I babysat my nephew, my sister-in-law got the same way as you are getting, so she hired a proffessional intil he was old-enough to go to school.
3)When my neice came along, to avoid the embarrassment with my nephew, she put her into a nursery that was close to her home, so that way Kita, my neice, would be in a safe environment while she was at work, and she could pick her up when she was finished. So maybe try a 24-hour nursery.
4)If none of the above aply to you, and if you are really desparate, then quit your job, and raise YOUR family YOUR way, not hers.
2007-05-29 14:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by AG Bellamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happended to me with my first two children they were 3 and 1 and I left them that summer with a close relative. She was 17 and was great with the kids but finally I just couldn't take it anymore. When the kids saw that I didn't enjoy dealing with her, they started to side with me. That was not exactly good but it felt good to know that they still wanted me. And after that summer she left. And I came home to be what I am now, a stay at home mommy!
2007-05-29 12:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who's the parent here? Who is in charge? Answer: - YOU you need to step up to the plate and tell her who is the mother and that she needs to follow YOUR rules.
If she is starting to refer to him as her son - then there are severe issues... maybe start looking for a new sitter or find a home daycare person that'll watch your child.....
2007-05-29 12:36:31 · answer #9 · answered by csirules2007 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell her that ur the childs parent and tell her im glad ur taking care of my child while im out. But u didnt give birth to this child I did. tell her that their our certain foods that are not good for the child. give her a list of nutritional foods to give the child. If she doesnt respect ur wishes then tell her if u cant obey the rules of my house then i will find another replacement.
2007-05-29 12:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by Hayley H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋