My sweetums basically told me to get whatever I wanted for our wedding and if I wanted his help he was there,otherwise it dosent matter,why don't men ever get excited over this stuff????
2007-05-29 05:06:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It's a guy thing, and just be grateful that he is manly enough to NOT want to get involved in all the frills. Do consult him, though, on the major decisions.
2007-05-29 07:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is pretty involved. He picked the date, he's picking out the music, and he's helping with food of course. I've been picking out things guys aren't that interested in- invitations, decorations and such, but I always ask his opinion and he always tells me honestly if he likes it or would prefer something else. Our wedding planning has been extremely easy and low stress so far, we're both really laid back though, and we are much more interested in the marriage than the actual wedding. I don't think anything is wrong if a groom isn't extremely involved. It's just a fact of life- (some) men aren't going to care what the colors are, the centerpieces, the favors... and I think that's okay. As long as he gives his opinion when you ask. I don't take it as a sign that they don't care if they aren't super involved, I generally think they just want to make their brides happy.
2016-05-20 22:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by sharon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, most every "Bride to be" asks this question. The reason is: most likely your honey did not grow up collecting "Groom" magazines, like we girls collected Brides magazines. I'm sure he did not dream of picking out the perfect tux. We ladies have spent years thinking of finding Prince Charming and having the perfect fairytale wedding. It is just not a big deal to guys. It is absolutely NOT an insult on your relationship or a question of his love for you...Guys just know that their ladies have the "Dream Wedding" mostly already planned in their heads, and they take a step back to let us run the show.
If you really want him to be involved, consider asking him to be responsible for certain tasks for the wedding, rather than be involved with the majority of the planning. For example:
In my wedding I will need a small set of stairs built so we can walk up the middle of the stage instead of the side stairs. I'll also need a trellis and other decorative touches made. My fiancee and his father are skilled with woodwork, and they are taking care of the steps, the trellis and the archway. I've also asked my guy to be responsible for choosing the music and working with the DJ.
This way it is something that I do not have to deal with, he is involved but not overwhelmed, and we are working together. :)
2007-05-29 05:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by Kat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I agree but also men to be husbands are celebrating at stag parties. They are also getting their tuxes ready.
the woman would be getting the wedding dress
its the woman who does all the work. If your sweetums tells you to get what you want maybe he should be doing some of the planning also. The bride is getting the brides maid he can help to make the list of who is coming, the best man,
2007-05-29 05:20:50 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_blue 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Terri. My man is super excited to get married and help with the planning. It's his day, too and he understands that.
I think a lot of guys are given the impression that they're not supposed to help because it's all about the bride, and that's not true. Maybe you should convey to him that this is his special day as well and he might come up with some ideas that gets him excited about planning the wedding.
2007-05-29 06:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by Peace 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some do....They're gay. Which doesn't do a woman much good as far as marriage goes, ya know?
OK, I was being a little facetious, but not much. I don't know why guys don't get excited over it, they just don't. I think they see it as a means to an end, where women see their wedding as the culmination of a life's dream. Guys also don't get too wrapped up in decorating either--again, unless they're gay. About the only things my husband wanted to know about our wedding and reception details was when, where, what he had to wear, what were were eating, and how much? How much was usually the first question too. He's the same way with decorating our home--I'll show him a picture of a sofa, or a swatch of fabric, and he'll usually say "that's nice" (in a non-committal tone) followed shortly by "how much is it?" He's much more interested in the how much than what color it is. It's just the way they think--don't get all upset over it, because you're not going to change that aspect of a man. And, like I pointed out, you really don't want to. ;-)
2007-05-29 05:19:35 · answer #6 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My boyfriend has currently handed all of our summer vacation planning (backpacking in Central America) over to me - he said he even didn't care about where we went! So I have the feeling that, unfortunately, when it comes to planning our wedding, he'll be the same way your bf is!
I don't understand it either! I know a few guys who are very involved and a few who only care about being told when and where! My cousin's bf actually planned most of their wedding because my cousin was out of the province leading up to the wedding! But I don't think most guys are like that. ;o)
I think it's because they didn't grow up with the "dream wedding" like a lot of girls did. It's just a formality to them and they care about the marriage more than the wedding (isn't that how it should be?). But I agree, it drives me nuts planning our vacation alone, let alone a wedding! He says, "whatever you want, I just want you to be happy" - so maybe they really do just want us to be happy?!
Men - can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em! ;o)
2007-05-29 05:11:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
My fiance said the SAME thing...At first I thought it was a sweet gesture, but when I can't make up my mind about something and go to him, he says "It's totally up to you." So frustrating! His idea of a wedding involves the bridemaids wearing hunter orange, and him in a camo vest, so I think I am better off on my own. It's just not a "guy thing" to pick out flowers, photographers, and colors for your big day. In the end, you're probably better off anyway with your own decisions. Try getting your maid of honor, sister, mother, or even his mother to get involved with decisions, they'll be honored if you ask their opinion = )
2007-05-29 05:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by holldoll 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I really think it depends on the guy. My guy and I developed a mutual vision for our day when we first got engaged, and some of the smaller details (like flowers, invitation styles, etc.), he's leaving in my hands, because he doesn't have a real strong opinion/sense of styles (he doesn't know flowers, type styles, etc. lol). I'm not expecting him to care about some of the things (like exactly what shade of blue I want the bridesmaids to wear, etc.), but he's surprised me with how opinionated he can be on some things...so, it's pretty cute, actually. For the bigger things, we'll choose together, but for the smaller things, we're going to split it up (he'll pick his guys' tuxes, I pick the dress designers, etc.) And it works for us.
I suppose my point is, I know it can be really frustrating to not have your guy be as obsessed about the details as we are, but I am sure he's going to be pretty excited when he learns all the wonderful things you've got in mind...who knows-as the planning gets more involved, he might not be able to resist getting excited ;)
2007-05-29 08:15:08 · answer #9 · answered by Constellation 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they just don't care, its not that they don't care about you, its they dont care about flowers and napkins, and other stuf like that, its not driven into them like it is us for our whole lives! lol! My hubby did the same thing when we were engaged...I gave him like 3 tasks to handle that he would be better at and he handled them at the LAST minute (and i really mean that...he was a bartender for YEARS before I met he so I got him to take care of it cuz he had better knowledge, he went out and bought the stuff the morning of the wedding!) a couple other things like that, he never did get me all his addresses, really frustrating, but it all worked out in the end, we had a great wedding and we both had a ball, and now that its over, we don't remember the frustration nearly as much as we remember our wedding day, he will appreciate it that day, but probably not a minute sooner...lol! good luck with it!
2007-05-29 08:43:47 · answer #10 · answered by ASH 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋