Are you a helicopter parent? If so, in what ways? What are your thoughts on helicopter parents? Pros/cons?

Question

Millennials are a good generation. There have been some very involved parents. But how far is too far? Do you describe yourself as a helicopter parent? In what ways? If you are not a helicopter parent, what are your thoughts on helicopter parenting? Do you have experience with this type of parent?

A helicopter parent is defined as a parent of the current Millennial generation (born 1982-2007) who drives the stereotypical minivan with a "baby on board" sign. You are very involved in your child's life. You call the school with the smallest concern. You do things for your child when they ought to be learning to do things on their own. You stay around and "hover." You expect only the best for your child. Your children are extremely sheltered.

Answer 1

Although protecting a child is a parents number one responsibility; they fail to realize that children need to make SMALL mistakes and learn from them so they do not go on into their adult lives making HUGE mistakes that could be more costly, financially, emotionally or otherwise. Encourage but don't be pushy; allow them to THINK for themselves because once you're dead; who's going to think for them? They have to grow and stretch their wings. There is nothing more sad (and at times FRUSTRATING) than a person who has been directed, guided and cajoled their whole childhood that are now grown and can't function independently or even form a unique thought or idea.

It's like all this craziness about germs and kids; why do parents think they are doing the right thing by always keeping kids clean and germ free? How will strong healthy immune systems ever develop if we put kids in the proverbial plastic bubble?

It's crazy how parenting has "evolved"; let them run, fall down and scrape their knees; every experience is a life lesson they can draw upon later on.

"A helicopter parent is a term for a person who pays extremely close attention to his or her child or children, particularly at educational institutions. They rush to prevent any harm from befalling them or letting them learn from their own mistakes, sometimes even contrary to the children's wishes. They are so named because, like a helicopter, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach whether their children need them or not."

Answer 2

I think that labels like 'helicopter parent' are convenient to use but are seldom accurate.

I'm sure that some would look at the way my husband & I parent & call us 'helicopter parents' (along with all of the "You're doing everything wrong & are going to screw up your kids" that that implies). I know, though, that my kids are just fine, learning to make good decisions, kind, thoughtful, intelligent, gaining independence at their own pace. It's the long run that counts, the long-term goals for our children. And, people who are not in my life, with my children, every day, have no idea what my children's abilities and skill levels are. It's easy to judge people based on our own perceptions. It takes more time to get to know people as individuals.

I think that derogatory labels like 'helicopter parents' put parents in a position where they feel they have to do everything exactly the opposite of 'helicopter parenting' (or whatever the derogatory term is), in order to avoid being accused of doing the 'bad things' being implied by the derogatory term. That, too, is not healthy for children.

Answer 3

I am not a helicopter parent for the logical reason that my daughter would never learn any "real life" coping skills to carry her through adulthood. A helicopter parent is always there to soften the blow and continuously tries to fix every single problem for their child rather than the child learning to solve things for him or herself. Real life doesn't work that way and at some point every single person has to face the harshness of world's society and life itself. The sooner a child learns this the better. Of course as a parent it is soooooo difficult to find that balance as we still want our child to know that we are there for them through good times and the challenging ones, too.

Answer 4

I think I might be at times. I never really had parents as a child to learn from so right now I'm kind of winging it (my dad worked all the time, my mom slept all the time, and the care of my younger siblings was left to me). I tend to "hover" over my children from time to time, some activities I notice I get a little too involved in BUT when I catch myself behaving this way I pull back and give my children some well deserved space. Example:
My son had a project he needed to do for school and he picked a topic in which I put a considerable amount of research into (which I shared w/my children which is actually why he chose it, they are just as passionate about it as I am) and I overstepped my bounds and practically did the whole thing for him. He ended up re-doing it w/out my help because he needed to do it for himself not have me hold his hand and do it for him.
You know what though, it happens. Your children grow up, new boundaries need to be set, and most of us are just trying to figure out what they are. Sometimes we figure it out on time, some of us take a bit longer. We'll get there (I hope, I usually do but by the time I finally figure out one level we are already onto the next).

Answer 5

Yes, I am a helicopter parent. I get it from my mom who "hovered" over me as a child. It is not a good thing to be, and it is costing me dearly now with my man, who is step-dad to my children. I am probably going to lose him very soon because he doesn't agree on my parenting style. Best bet for early helicopter parents: STOP HOVERING NOW! Make your kids responsible for themselves, make them do chores, don't bail them out all the time. If you do everything for them, when they grow up, they will learn the hard way and take the hard road.

Answer 6

My mom use to be like that still controlling and annoying and so on. She's gotten greater useful and is not up my *** each and all of the time. on each and every occasion I do see that she being inappropiate I element it out to her and he or she stops or lessens the concern. an identical could persist with if i became into being inapprotiate in the direction of her, each and every from time to time it takes distinctive circumstances to confirm that the two one human beings to renowned the probleml and settle directly to no count if or not we could desire to continuously take a diverse process action, so it is honest. My around the corner neighbor has a helicopter mom. you are able to tell he does not like it the two. I additionally could desire to remind myself to not be a helicopter individual in the direction of human beings. i could be on numerous events yet i will known and end it particularly right away majority of the time. Lol do not comprehend.

Answer 7

No I am not one and yes I have had experience with many.
They enjoy it and they love the pats on the back, but their children are ridiculed and made fun of. It is acceptable to walk a kindergartner to class but when they are in fifth grade? Get real if they can't find their way by then well.

I know parents who actualy enter my daughters classroom and bag up thier childs papers and home work for them. Not because the kid isn't doing the work just because they might forget something. Hello they are 10 if they don't do their work, they get lunch learning big deal.

The worse part about these parents is the fact that usually their kids are little demons. And if someone does say something to them, the parent acts like you just slapped the kid in the face, or ripped their little heads off and waiving it around like some kind of trophey. I actually had the experience of baby sitting for one of these drama queens on wheels. Never again that kid was horible. I ended up putting him in the corner for cussing and oh my when mom came you would not belive her reaction. You would have thought the world just blew up all I could do was laugh which probably made the situation worse but what do you do when somenones head litterally turns red because you put a kid in the corner?

I go to my kids sporting events yes and I root them on but I am not running to the dugout to hug my kid because he got out. If he gets hit with a ball of course a parent is gonna see if the kid is ok but I'm not gonna let him leave because he is upset over striking out. Sports are a good way to teach a child how to handle disapointment they have a life time of it infront of them. There are gonna be home runs, and dropped balls face it no one is immuned.

Every parent should be involved and there if they are needed. but it is the helocopter parent that can not deal with the fact that their kid can tie their own shoe. and if they don't well then they can trip.

I shouldn't have answered this question do to the fact that I know so many of them but they bug the crap out of me.
kids fall they get hurt they srew up and hey it's all part of life. I did I am not gonna freak out because some one called my kid four eyes. I'm gonna tell him to tell the little creap four eyes are better then two. Kids have to learn to deal with the day to day. if they don't well then we are not doing our jobs. Any one who completely shelters a child and thinks their kid is perfect and will not allow them to mature socially is doing seriouse damage to their child.

Answer 8

No way. Not that it matters, but I was born in 1977. I will NEVER drive a mini van, nor do my children want me to. My husband mentioned getting us one and my kids, along with me, had a fit. I am very involved in my children's lives, but do also know that some things, they have to learn on their own, or they are going to grow up as a bunch of pampered idiots! In a way, my husband grew up in this sort of environment, and here he is, at 29 trying to still fix and heal himself from all the damage that this sort of parenting caused. Children have to be allowed to find out who they are, be allowed to make choices, make mistakes and learn from them. If my child is injured at school, or being picked on, sure, I would run to the school in a heart beat, but if it is something like they don't like what they are being taught, or who they have to sit by etc. they have to deal with it. Life isn't always pleasant. They have to learn some tolerance. Sheltering them isn't going to teach them that.

Answer 9

Yes,I used to be guilty of this with my older two children.Not only hovering,I was there with the line and winch ready to airlift them to safety at the first sight of any threat! It didn't really work,I ended up with kids that were unwilling to think for themselves.I had to back off and let them learn for themselves,Jeez,I even used to do their homework for them! What was I thinking! With my younger children I am trying to teach them to learn to assess risks,weigh up the pros and cons of a situation and not be so reliant on me.Though I was once removed from my youngest son's classroom for turning up to dress him after sports day!! Bad habits are hard to unlearn.

Answer 10

does a helicopter parent tend to hover over the children?