I have started seeing someone, its early days but I feel very strongly for him and he says he does for me. The only problem is that although him and his wife have been seperated for three years, he is still paying there mortgage and sharing the use of his car. I hate this, should I just end it now before it gets any more serious?
2007-05-29 02:13:50 · 16 answers · asked by Peachy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to sit down and talk to him, ask him why after 3 years they haven't filed for divorce.
2007-05-29 02:16:36 · answer #1 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you two really feel strongly for each other, you need to clear the air right away and ask him what the real situation is between him and his wife. No good will come of hiding from what may be a fling for him. The sooner you know the score, the sooner you can make an educated decision on where this is going. The truth may be unpleasant, but you'll respect yourself more for having asked the question.
2007-05-29 09:35:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Am afraid this is for you to decide yourself. It all depends on a number of factors - do you see a future for you and him if he keeps on paying the mortgage and if so, will that not put a financial strain on you both should you wish to get a home together? Also it would not be prudent to continue the car share. How on earth would that work??
On the emotional aspect of it, does he feel the need to keep ties with his estranged wife? sounds like it. obviously it ended or ended up amicable and after 3 years you would think one of them would have moved on by now - is this out of financial convenience or again emotional stability?
As you say yourself its still early days for you and your man so I would suggest you sit down and have a good chat and tell him your fears and how upset it makes you feel that he still shares alot with his ex. Only when you see how he reacts should it give you a good indication of how HE feels both about you and his wife.
I genuinely hope it works out for you.
Best of luck x
2007-05-29 09:25:15 · answer #3 · answered by Boo Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they are seperated why is he still paying the mortgage and sharing the car if they still live together than yes you need to leave him alone. do they have kids together and thats why he is paying the mortgage if so than yes i see that i'd help with the mortgage so the kids can have a roof over there head. but if there are no kids than i dont see it. ask him if he still has feelings for her and see what he says, thats the only way you are gonna know anything.
2007-05-29 09:38:43 · answer #4 · answered by eunique97 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend at the minute, i felt like that about him when i started seein him even tho he was only out of a very serious 2 year relationship. They were still very good friends and often met up for chat ect! However I told him that it worried me and how i felt about him seeing her still and how i felt about him. He told me her felt the same about me and stopped seeing her! We've been together 3 years now...
2007-05-29 09:23:43 · answer #5 · answered by Mone!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take some time off. Try to be alone and think if your doing the right thing. Well loving someone is right, but loving someone who still has a wife but as you put it,separated, but think of this, they are not divorced.
Just take sometime off.
If you'll do this to yourself.Fine.
But you know, what if it isn't serious?
And you'll be the cause of breaking a marriage?
Just think if you really love him:p
2007-05-29 09:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why go and end somethign that isn't ruined?
Unless he has done something that makes you trust him less or worry about him doing something he's not supposed to then yes go ahead.
The best thing to do is to sit down and talk to him. Let him know how you feel. A relationship is not gonna work if there is no communication.
2007-05-29 09:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by xxsummerxx232 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went out with a guy who was "seperated" from his wife and he started seeing her again behind my back and now they're back together. Don't get serious with him till you see the divorce papers
2007-05-29 09:32:35 · answer #8 · answered by Ceejay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he could be paying the mortgage as it's a joint loan as well as the loan for the car. I would sit down and speak to him calmly about it. Don't nag! Men turn off their little brains when they first hear a nag!
Best of luck sweety!
2007-05-29 09:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes still married. are you sure theyre divorced? i would talk to him first, before you cut your losses. be honest, dont assume anything...feeling strongly towards someone is rare for me(not sure about other people) so i say dont give up on him so quickly. discuss with him how youre feeling, men arent good with cryptic messages. they cant read our minds.
2007-05-29 09:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋