Killing ill relatives?

Question

My father lost both his parents to forms of cancer when he was still young (his mother at 11 and dad at 20-something).

Iasked him the other day what it was like to watch his father waste away- apparently he was so far gone that they unhooked him from his support and it still took him a fortnight to starve. For the last month he could not speak or move, could not feed hmiself or use the toilet and did recognise even his own son and daughter.

My dad, who is a tough old-fashioned sod of the old school, said that if he'd had the chance he would have finished off his old man with a pillow as they'd discussed it, but they were never alone for long enough.

What are your opinions on this, and please try to be understanding? Also, what do you think would have actually happened to my father? Would the doctors, in actuality, have pressed some sort of charge or do you think they would have understood? This was in the 70s.

Thanks!

Answer 1

I personally would not have had the strength of character to end another's life in the way your father would have done. However, I agree that it would have been the right thing to do.

I watched my Aunt suffer for 15 years. She managed to beat a variety of cancers, including bladder, breast, and liver. What ultimately ended her life was the combined effects of the radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Her pain was indescribable, and that is what killed her. She literally died from the pain.

No one should have to suffer like that. Any of us who would allow an animal to lay in that type of torment would be charged with cruelty, yet we do this with our loved one's all the time. Our lawmaker's are too concerned with being politically correct rather than doing the right thing.

I don't think anything too serious would have happened to your father. It's likely that any doctor would have looked the other way. Had your father been charged, he may have had a sympathetic judge. Ordinary people tend to have heroic hearts, and I feel strongly that most people would have seen this quality in your father had he done this.

Answer 2

The problem is always the risk of being charged with murder. Mercy killing is a real thing, but so is pretending it's for mercy when it's really to inherit sooner. The law has the unenviable job of sorting out the mixed motives in cases like that, and you really do take a significant risk of a charge of manslaughter at least, if not murder. Also, you cannot inherit if you are charged with killing the relative. This would be justice, I suppose, if the motive was greed, but suppose the motive was mercy? Then the very person who would most have the old parent's gratitude instead gets prison and no inheritance at all.

Even with assisted suicide, the risks are great. The best you can hope for is that we will change the laws to permit a legally protected suicide, so people with terminal illnesses can have the option. Right now the best we have is the "do not resuscitate" order, and as you point out, sometimes that can leave them hanging on, just because the natural defenses of the body take over once the patient is unconscious.

If you hate the idea of lingering, you'd better be sure you have made some plans before you get too far gone to be in control of the means.

Answer 3

Watching a relative die is the hardest thing in the world. Your father...if caught...would have very likely been prosecuted. Being a child then, he probably wouldn't have got much of a sentence though.

I am definitely for euthanasia, but since there is a potential for abuse, it would have to be done under very strict guidelines to protect the patient.

- A terminal diagnosis with 6 months to live (number is open to discussion)
- A written and signed document stating the patient's end-of-life desires
- An evaluation for clinical depression
- The patient should be informed of other alternatives to care, like pain medications, hospice care, etc.
- A team of health care professionals (not just one) decide with the family that euthanasia is appropriate.

Answer 4

It's a tough one. Certainly I can understand anyone wanting to put someone they love out of misery and suffering but spiritually those are not our choices to make. I think the judges would have been compasionate about passing a sentence but your father would certainly have received a sentence. It opens up all sorts of issues if the law allows (or turns a blind eye) to someone taking the life of others, no matter how sad the circumstances. If they turn a blind eye to that tragic situation, might they also then have cause to let off a woman who kills her cheating husband etc etc... the snowball effect would be catastrophic.

Answer 5

I think euthanasia should be legal. We have the heart to put our pets down when they are in severe pain and dying. Yet we let the people we love most suffer and suffer.

It would be very hard to be the one to sign the papers that put someone to death. Heck I fear that my dad will wind up on life support against his will. He has signed a DNR but you know how some people think they are God and know better than the person who is living the life. Mom and Dad talked about and there is a chain of who will have decisions if it is ever needed.

Answer 6

I do believe in ufenasia (spelling?) for the old and suffering, but I'm not sure that a pillow is the right thing to do. Perhaps a little extra morphine would be better.

As for weather the Doctor would mind, I think it really depends on the doctor. If it was the family Dr, then I'm sure that they would be ok with it. But a hospital Dr might not be.

Answer 7

Unfortuantly we are allowed to put down animals if they're that ill (as people would say, better to put them down then let them suffer, infact if we kept them alive we would be brought to the court for animal cruelity), but we're not allowed to end a humans suffering! (I think it's some silly idea that a human understands whats going on but an animal doesn't, I still don't see what the difference is, but still...........)

Last year I had to watch my Grandfather slowly die of a number of different cancers attacking his body all at the same time, it was awfull, and I'll never forget it.

I think that if the person wants to die, let them, it's horrible for them and there family, I would have felt better knowing that my Grandfather was out of pain rather then watching him slowly die, one of the cancers he had was cancer of the bone, by the time he died he'd had broken his arm (there was hardly any bone left so they put a metal rod in his arm to make the remaining bone stronger), he had to be hosted incase he broke his legs trying to transfer, then about a month before he died his spine broke, so he was paralized and the nurses had to do everything for him, they were giving him strong strong painkillers so he slept most of the time, when he was awake I don't think he reconised us.

If your father hadn't told the doctors he would have got away with ending his fathers suffering, unfortuantly if they found out, I think he would have been sentenced with man-slorter. (unless there was a understanding jury)

Answer 8

I FULLY support euthanasia providing it is actually euthanasia.

Ideally Dutch style where you drink a painless poison which acts quick and 'fall asleep' in loved ones arms... Would even say whilst making love.

Those who disaggree basically get off on seeing others suffer often for their beliefs in some superstiious nonsense about a god who must clearly get off on hurting others if he existed.


Without that poision you may have stuff like smothering which is not so nice, but better then them simply suffereing


Same like if somone is trapped in a burning car and you have access to a gun or could ram something through their skull would do it.


As to the poster above who thinks Jesus should be his sick perverted jollies from torturing people who don't deserve it...


Would it not be right if you could rape that god with his own inquisition's torture rape devices and see how he likes it


Wait till they were asleep then get a faulty boiler or car fumes to carbon monoxide him to death would also be humane.



its like when a rat got caught in a trap smashed skull in to put it out of pain... Only wished had something more human anf qucker

Answer 9

I have worked in a nursing home as a LNA and I saw all kinds of pain and suffering from the older people. There is only a certain amount of medicine a person can take to ease the pain away. By the time you are in a nursing home, people are looking forward to dieing. They come to the peace of going on to better things and not to suffer no more. Exceptance of death is a gift because most people have lived their lives and raised their children, did all they wanted to do.
But, to assist in a death to comfort some's pain, is the same as murder. Nature must take it's course. I know seeing someone that we love hurt is probably one of the most painful things someone could live. But, it's not our job to kill humans! And all it is is playing God.

Answer 10

I work in a facility with the elderly and I think that if he would have done any of that then yes, he would have been put up on charges of some kind. Not to mention he would have had to answer to God for what he did, it is still murder. I know that it is hard to sit there and watch them waste away and sometimes it does take a long time for them to go and they are in alot of pain. But you have to let God decide when it is the right time not man!!