7 Years...no proposal?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years, he joined the navy 2 years after i met him, and i am now living with him and have been for 1 year. He still has not proposed, its wierd because he told me to pick out a ring last year so i did, that was one year ago but he still has not asked me. We always discuss our wedding how we want it etc...and he did ask me to marry him when we were 18 years old, but at the time there was no ring given and he was moving interstate to recruit school so i didnt take anything too seriously. He has mentioned he will ask again and there have been times where i have completely lost it (which i shouldnt have) and asked what the deal was.
Do you think he will ask again ? Or do u think that i pretty much already am engaged? I dont wear the ring we picked out yet because im waiting for him to ask!!

Answer 1

Is money an issue, is he waiting for that fairy tale wedding?
Or has he just figured out that the milk is free so why buy the cow?
Let him know how you feel, maybe in HIS mind, since he ALREADY asked you at age 18, and bought you the ring that your ARE engaged! And by not wearing the ring you are showing him that you really don't want marriage!
Sounds like you just need a heart to heart talk, in my book he has already asked you to marry him, and you just want a romantic proposal where he gives you the ring he already gave you!

Answer 2

So you have a ring, why not bring up the subject of marriage again and hand him the ring, ask when you'll get to wear it and tell him he'd better hurry up and do a proper proposal soon otherwise you might reconsider! Say it in a slightly jokey way (if that would work for you). IF he did say he already thought of the two of you as being engaged (which I think is unlikely) then tell explain to him that you want a proper proposal, the kind you can retell to friends and family!

Him working for the navy must put a strain on your relationship, so well done for staying together 7 years. I think he needs a reminder that you don't just want to be his girlfriend. Don't be subtle with him (guys generally don't get that-as admitted by my husband), tell him what you want/expect - but gently!

I hope this all works out.

Answer 3

I would imagine asking for marriage can be a bit nerve racking. There are always those points of doubt wondering through the head, know what I mean? Hell, you're not wearing the ring right now so he could be thinking you're not as interested as you are. Anyway, I'd say it's time to up the communication in the relationship and talk to him about what's going on. Or, propose to him. Sure it's more traditional for the man to propose but I'm pretty sure that's not in the rule book.

Above all though, just make sure it's the right thing. Guys can be very funny as I'm sure you know. Most of us don't have the slightest clue about what's going on in our own heads. I'd say talking to him about it is your best course.

Answer 4

Hi Missy,

I think it's time for a heart-to-heart talk. Maybe you might ask him to be honest and tell you if he simply doesn't want to get married. Ask if he would rather be with someone else or even be alone.

I suggest this for your own peace of mind. If you're ready to be married, and it's clear you are, I think you deserve answers, don't you? Remember, "I don't know" isn't an answer.

If it's a commitment thing, It's only right that you know because you'll have to wonder what other things he will have trouble committing to (jobs, children, etc.).

I hope things work out.

Answer 5

Talk to him about it again.

Perhaps he is waiting for a special time.

I mean, you just picked out a ring last year.

How serious was he when he asked you when you were 18?

If it was serious, and you called each other fiance afterwards, then you ARE engaged. So start wearing the ring!

Or, ask when is he going to give you the ring.

Answer 6

Let's see you have a ring so you are engaged. That is a good thing. If he is still in the military he's likely not making alot of $$$ so wedding debt idea might be scary. Especially if the two of you will be paying for it. Don't go into huge debt for a party. There are probably alot of other issues you didn't mention. Talk to him and suggest a small ceremony. Good Luck & Congratulations

Answer 7

Why should he ask again? Or make definite plans, for that matter? He has had what he wanted for the past seven years, and by now he must be convinced that your patience is limitless.

The next time you "always" discuss the wedding, look him in the eye and say: "OK, so let's set a date now." His reaction will tell you if he has been stringing you along all this time.

Answer 8

I would say you are definitely not already engaged.

What I think you need to do is sit him down and clear the air. Preface and let him know that you don't want to pressure him, but you just want to know what's going on. Let him know you are just lost and want to know if he ever has intentions to marry you.

If he does make a point to let him know you won't just wait around forever, but never give an ultimatum. Just let him know at some point you will give up and won't wait anymore.

Answer 9

Sounds like he's not going to if it's been this long. You guys are living together, so why should he bother to marry you?

Calmly ask him what his intentions are. Ask him about the ring and if he means to officially ask you and marry you. After that, you have to decide if he is the one you want to be with. Can you handle just being the live in girlfriend for the rest of your life?

Answer 10

if he did not really and seriously asked you, you are not engaged, he will ask you eventually, don't think about it to much, I got my proposal after almost 9 years and a bit more than a year later we got married, don't force or talk him into something, it might push him away, but if you talk aabout weddings again, let him know that it is important to you

greets from a-finally-married ;)

Anne