How can I stop being such a sad bastard?

Question

I've got no confidence.I need to be confident enough to do job interviews,get a g/f,socialise.Where can I get help for this "social crippling" I seem to have?

Answer 1

find something you enjoy doing to give you confidence and try working out its proven to work

Answer 2

You gain confidence by doing thing that you can succeed at. It can start out with little things that you do every day. Think about all the things you can do before you go to an interview. Remind yourself that you can do the job you're applying for, and that you only have to interview once. Even if you don't feel 100% , it's okay. There are hundreds; thousands of people who feel the way you do. The only difference is that they appear confident. Practice feeling confident by telling yourself that you can do the job and let that feeling show in your behavior. You can do the same thing when you meet a girl that you like.

Answer 3

sounds like u have what they call social phobia... it affects 2-3% of the population (= more than 100 million people in the world, just like u) .. u could try going it alone and just forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations (avoiding is the absolute worst thing u can do - although u probably feel there's hardly ever an alternative).. it might not be enough though - it's very difficult to guide yourself through it alone.. ask ur gp about social skills and assertiveness training - u won't get laughed at, it's a real issue which many many people have.. wish u all the best with it

Answer 4

You're certainly not the only one who feels like this - there's thousands of us! Unlike you, i have a partner, but he is the only one i'll go out socialising with. I have no confidence to get out there and make new, decent friends (my other friends are more like acquaintances).

It can be so frustrating because you know how you want to be, but you just can't push yourself to do it. At the moment I see 2 sides to myself - that i'm not worthy of having friends because why should anyone like me when I don't like myself, but also that I know i'm a nice person and I deserve to have friends. It's very confusing!

But I do suggest trying something new - maybe try a class in something you've never done before but that you've always wanted to try. You'll meet people and you'll learn a new skill (that'll boost your confidence/self-esteem too). I'm just about to join a camera club because i've always been interested in photography. The club has an online forum so i've already chatted to people (somewhat anonymously) in the club.

Good luck, and I home something works for you soon. Never think you're alone - there's always support on here.

Answer 5

I wonder if it is possible that you are suffering from Social Anxiety Disorder. It may be of profound benefit to you to schedule an interview for a full evaluation. There is mediation (e.g., Paxil) and psychotherapy that has made a night-and-day difference for those with social anxiety disorder. Perhaps you will be the next.

Best of luck,
~M~

p.s. I add my hearty encouragement to the advice of the above poster. I would love to see you change your screen name to something that reflects more how you WANT to see yourself than how you see yourself now.

Answer 6

I have no confidence at all, hate large crowds, small crowds, hell i hate any groups of people.
I know there is a step missing here but somehow i got myself a girlfriend and now i have alot more confidence i myself-ie ive stoped being a sad bastard. Though i still aint great with big groups....
Good luck!

Answer 7

Try joining the ASC. It's it the Association of Speakers Clubs. They have a website. You will find them very friendly and will help enormously with the confidence and ability to speak in any public situation. Of course this helps with small intimate groups also. Our club only costs £25 a year. I was similar to you and now you can't shut me up. Best regards.

Answer 8

Get out more
You have a lot of questions here put that effort into something else Join a library or a country walking group Get a hobby or go back into education Get of your computer for a time & get some frish air

Answer 9

You might start, by changing your screen name to something else lol........Mr Happy, is much better, and proves to me, that you really do want to get better...listen, one thing I learned a long time ago, is to start counting your blessings...sometimes, we forget just how well we are really doing, until we stop and take inventory...You gotta learn to love yourself first, and all will come to you. Make a list, of the things that you find good about yourself, and the things you think are bad..and compare them to others, and I bet, that you shine over them all!

Answer 10

I myself lacked confidence and was painfully shy. I started thinking of how much i was missing out on so i just got out there and done it! It was difficult at 1st but you only get one shot at life hun - LIVE IT!! If i did it so can you!! Good luck!!

Answer 11

there's a reason God gave us unfastened will. God Almighty is All ability-finished. If He needed He could desire to enforce His will. If He needed He could desire to end each and everything undesirable from ever occurring. yet there's a reason God gave us unfastened will. so as that we, ourselves could desire to decide for which direction we could desire to stroll upon. And finding on which direction we decide for God will then advantages or punish us. it somewhat is arbitrary of you to accuse God of each and everything which you have stated. those unlucky souls who decide for to persist with the direction of darkness would be punished for their movements. those harmless ones who're killed, God, who's the main basically, will advantages them subsequently. This worldwide is yet a trial, the Hereafter, whether, is the place the real happiness lies. The depraved are throwing themselves into the fire with the aid of their movements. the good who're, as you're saying, being punished by potential of the depraved will stumble on an prolonged-lasting advantages with their God. The rewards of the Hereafter are, somewhat, plenty greater advantageous and of greater value than any happiness which would be present in this earth. with the aid of fact God is the main basically, people who're wronged here in the earth by potential of their own brothers and sisters would be rewarded by potential of God Almighty in return for what they ignored in this life. additionally, i could desire to characteristic that at circumstances circumstances like those finally end up as a trial for those in touch. in the event that they turn in the direction of God even greater advantageous than earlier in moments of hassle then God will strengthen their advantages.