I was raped by my neighbor. My boyfriend has been cheating on me and got mad at me for being raped. I'm in a different country and will go home in two months. I am climbing the walls and half crazy. Have u ever been through any of this? How did u get over it?
2007-05-29 00:45:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Yeah, I want to forgive. I'm closer with the boyfriend. With the neighbor it's harder. It's like if I allow myself to think too much about his well-being I forget about my own. I don't want bad things for him, but I guess I'm not ready to fully forgive him until it's settled in my mind what happened.
2007-05-29 03:08:13 · update #1
First, I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. Have you contacted the police over the rape? If not, you should, the sorry SOB that did that should pay for his crime.
As for the boyfriend, any man who cheats on a woman (and vice versa) is scum in my eyes anyways, but the fact that he is mad at you over something you were forced to do shows me that he is a lowball POS that doesn't deserve you. You can do better honey, trust me.
I would suggest getting counseling to help you with your trauma, weather it be a support group for victims of rape, a professional psychiatrist, or a loved one you trust. You can't keep everything bottled up inside, it just makes it worse.
2007-05-29 01:00:55 · answer #1 · answered by Andi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone that has been through a traumatic experience like this will tell you to surround yourself with people that can support you. I've found that a therapist helps, because you can tell them the ugly stuff without worrying about what they'll think of you or how guilty it makes you feel.
I think you realize that your boyfriend is not giving you the kind of support you need right now. You may want to consider putting some space between you and him if a complete breakup will be too stressful for you right now.
There are two certainties. The first is that you need to find someone you trust to talk to so you don't keep all these pent up emotions inside. The other is that you need to understand, no matter what negative thoughts are going through your mind, that this was in no way your fault.
All this is much easier said than done. As for the other areas of life, you'll have to find a way to adjust and move on. Some people move cities, some pick up hobbies, some write or paint, some exercise. You'll have to figure out what works for you. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-05-29 01:04:47 · answer #2 · answered by larsor4 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, just breathe. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. It tends to slow things down a little. You've been through a really horrible ordeal and your boyfriend, who you should've dumped when he was cheating on you, is fueling the problem. The first thing you need to do is get rid of him. You can most certainly do better. Next, find a support group in your area. Rape is more than just a physical violation, and it's a very difficult thing to move past on your own. If you check the RAINN website, at www.rainn.org, they can definitely help you find whatever support you need. Your life is probably at its lowest point right now, but remember that the light will always shine brighter the darker it gets.
2007-05-29 00:57:24 · answer #3 · answered by bardryn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My friend,
So sorry to hear what happened to you.
It is not your fault that the bad incident happened and your boy friend doesn't deserve your affection for two reasons:
1. He was cheating on you.
2. He didn't support you when you needed it the most.
So relax, it will take some time to get over the trauma.
Seek professional help - meet a counsellor.
Nothing has spoiled you - believe me!
Seek the help of trusted friends.
Move on, you will get a deserving guy.
2007-05-29 00:56:05 · answer #4 · answered by arun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CALL THE COPS NOW. I know you're scared but nobody has any right to be mad at YOU of all people! You're boyfriend needs slapped across the face and dumped and you HAVE to get some help from the legal system or family or SOMETHING. You shouldn't be alone at a time like that.
2007-05-29 00:54:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stephanie, the ONLY way, to get over this, is through prayer...I don't care what people tell you...You have to forgive those people, because we are sinners, and this is what God and Jesus want us to do, no matter how hard that seems to be able to achieve...You will find, that by forgiving them, and moving on...that you will have inner peace. Dump the boyfriend, you can forgive, but you don't have to put up with his insensitivity to what happened,..and if you want to report the neighbor, go ahead...I would come home, and move where neither one of them could find me, forgive, and move on myself...it works, it really does...and I know from experience
2007-05-29 01:17:25 · answer #6 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i am so sorry that something so awful happened to you ...i am hopeful that you will over come this,i am first of all i am also a rape victim and trust me it is so painful to have such harsh feelings about yourself... and i don't have some magic way to make it all be "better" and to be honest they say "time heals everything".... in my opinion is time heals nothing! but you have to be open minded enough to let your self worth be more and when your life Carry's on you are not that victim anymore! as for your boyfriend being upset ??you are better he needs to step out of his "self circle"and be there for you when love-is needed most.... not add more pain and confusion best wishes please tell me you spoke out about the neighbor??
2007-05-29 01:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by SIKCHIC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry this has happened.
i hope you have reported it to the police and your family if your b/f blames you well piss him of he isn't worth it you are to good for him.if i was you i would go home now you need to be with your family
best of luck
2007-05-29 01:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by fanta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋